Shaadi.Maariage.Consortium.Wedlock.Wedded Bliss….Ahh did someone just spelt BLISS ? Hmm makes me think about bliss and marriage together ! Well, okay I’ll not deny that marriage is a change in your life and a good amount of change.. and a nice change,ya ! But everything under this bright sun comes with a tag and that is ‘effects’..which are fondly called ‘side effects’ !! Oh why side ? Since they are not direct and don’t cause much pain in most of the cases..i guess !!
So when I say ‘not direct’ but side.. There are few attached to our pretty favourite word shaadi !
1. If you are the ‘wife’ in the couple- You are expected to leave all your ‘rivaaz‘ and beliefs behind,at your parents home,before you enter your husbands’ home !After all you are shifting and not they ! 🙂
Most of us females would have experienced this one: “Amchya kade asach asta. We follow this process and you have to follow it dear daughter in law” And it would be applicable to anything right from cooking some dish to a pooja in the house !
2. Marriage is a different affair than the courtship that you really enjoyed and that was when you thought that you want to live with this person 24*7 !! After all courtship allows you only few hours and marriage gives you life long closeness…something like this,right ?
Baah !! Courtships days are much better than marriages ! Yeah !!! Experience speaks.. Hey not that I’m unhappy with H now after 4 years of our marriage.. But yeah there are times when you really feel courtship days are flexible and marriage changes it all.. Marriage certainly gives you another highs…but finally its a said agreement between you and your hubby that the compromise WILL take place !!! Should take place !
3. It’s one year of your marriage and girl you are still not expecting ?? Big crime !!! And your husband is an equal partner in this crime, of course ! There is something wrong,medically,in either of you…and usually the first suspect is the girl !! 🙂
One year of marriage and relatives start calling in and dropping in just to ask “is there a news” and if to this your answer is NO..awful ! The reaction is ” Not yet ? Oh why but ? We had 3 children already when we were your age…aajkal chi generation ashich aste..mana sarkha karaycha…kasli ti planning mahne…”
And trust me after all this there would be this one liner for sure…“amhala kay karaychay..shevti tumcha ayushya.. amhi kon bolnare..amhi tar aple sansar urakle….”
Can you beat this one ? Marriage is a legal way to churn children who would be accepted world wide 😉
Just a thing to share: A friends lives in the US with her husband.In-laws live in India. 2 years post my friend’s marriage they were not ready for the baby and here in India the in-laws started suspecting,my friend of course,of medically being unfit and they got lot of poojas and hawans done for the baby ! My friend was horrified but thankfully they were miles away and could only get the updates of this besetment through the phone !! Update: They have a 1 year old baby boy now and they had him only when they thought they were ready ! But anyways the in-laws must be thinking this is the result of their poojas back here in India ! So be it !
Something which I have experienced myself: When I left the job in Mumbai and shifted back to my hometown just because H has a job here and we have our home here ! But people,all of them, at office,relatives who knew I was shifting and on top of everyone..my dear maid ! All of them just asked one single question: “Are you expecting ?” This could be the only reason why I would go to my dear H !! Right ?
Okay now I’m back to home and here also people don’t leave me alone.. they have their set of questions ready like, “So when do we get the news, now that you are back ?” As if I’m just back for this baby-producing process ! I mean give us a break folks !!!And yes how can i forget this, “We want a baby boy han, we already have 2 daughters in the family” (H’s elder brother has 2 daughters..so what !) Babies are babies yarrr !!!! I’m a girl and hence your son could get a wife !!! Or else every other boy in the world would turn gay now !!! And you won’t like that as well, right ? So just chill and sit back and wait ! 🙂
Plain and simple.. babies are to be planned only when the couple is mentally,physically and financially ready ! That’s’ that ! Not because some aunt thinks your should or a mother-in-law thinks that she wants something to do since she is retired now or because some of your cousins and friends already have babies on their lap….!!!
A funny thing. Check the definition specified at Dictionary.Com. Note the point number 6 and 7. And now think about what a marriage is all about really !
This post is not to scare the unmarried. Also there is no intention to razz the M word ! These are some of the experiences shared and should be taken with light heart ! I would really love to mention..change is part of life and we all need it badly..so marriage gives you that change, so have fun and take everything coming along with marriage with a pinch of salt ! Only one thing which is important.. Be yourself..Love everyone in the family and don’t’ be scared if you have to compromise at some stages of life !!!!