What is the way to show grief ?

Once when I was living in hostel I lost my mobile phone.I was very very upset and whined about it for few hours. Past afternoon I was quiet okay and had accepted about the fact that my mobile is lost ! That is when a hostel mate comes at the dining table, where we all girls were having our dinner, and talks to other girl, “Dekh to mobile kho gaya aur ro bhi nahi rahi hai” that I’ve lost my mobile and I’m not even crying !

While at school it so happened that our unit test marks were being announced in the class and our copies were being shown to us. All of a sudden my friend started crying.After a while another friend and like wise at least 3-4 girls did this crying job. I was amazed to see all this. After that lecture, in the interval when we friends were gathered to eat our lunch this friend of mine started the topic of marks and the all the crying that happened. And they all told me that I didn’t feel bad about getting 7 marks less than the highest and they were sure about it since I didn’t shed any tears.

source: google images

I have come across these kind of incidences where people say things they should not say and give those dirty looks they should not give to people who are already grieved. My point here is,are tears everything and the only way to show your grief ? Just because you don’t have tears in your eyes does that mean that you are not feeling bad.Is there any tear-o-meter available to check how many tears one shed and how grieved one is ?

Tears or no tears. Sulking or no sulking. The loss is a loss.Be it a small or a great one.A loss breaks down the person and it takes lot of energy and will power of that person to come out of it !

It’s always better to look forward and that’s what we also tell people who are in a bad phase of their lives. Just because you don’t get a chance to console someone doesn’t mean the person is wrong ! If the person is able to come over the pain and to be positive, in my view that person is nothing but BRAVE..so what he/she didn’t shed any tears !

I think we need to also take into consideration that there are people who don’t like to show what they are going through or don’t like to cry in public.So let them just be ! What’s your take ?

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13 thoughts on “What is the way to show grief ?

  1. Very True Nupur :-)As Michelle Burns said – "You never see my tears, but that doesn't mean I don't cry. You never feel my pain, but that doesn't mean I don't hurt. You only see me smile, and that doesn't mean that I am happy"

  2. Whether you cry or not, you can't change the past, some people even at the work they like to show us that they are mood-off or busy, i usually pity towards these kind of characters, you can share your emotions not show it to everyone!!

  3. how I see it is, tears or no tears, your expressions can be mistaken, its human. but really, those are expressions, outlets, they cannot be governed by what others think or say about it. its for yourself, not others, most of the times…

  4. That is so true.. there are so many ways of dealing with grief and just because somebody does not show it outwardly, doesn't mean that he is not feeling it…

  5. grieving is a personal affair, and differs from person to person…as divz says, it can't be governed by external factors / people. we do what works for us, that's all.

  6. Very often, we expect everybody else to grieve like just how we would ! And to share 'joy' the way we would !Its imperative to notice and understand that we are primarily different people ! And our responses to similar situations are very different !Just let them be ! Them and all their expectations. Be yourself ! ( Thats what i tell myself )

  7. How one shows grief or happiness for that matter is such a personal trait..not everyone woops with joy and cries tears when upset.And we cannot be the judges of the extent of anyone’s feeling..we just can't be..

  8. All of us have different ways of dealing with grief. May be tears come pretty easily to some people. May be some people are more adept at hiding them from public. Every body in this world is unique. That is why our planet is such a wonderful place.

  9. I agree with Divz, T and Comfy :PPpl even asked me how I cud recover from the grief of hvng lost abt 4 lakhs as I ws carrying on with my life .. shud I put a full stop to my life till I get bk things ;

  10. U r absolutely rite dear….i m of the same nature…even alone also i dnt cry….unless and untill i m badly hurt…then also i never cry in public.,…i hav cried can only e understood by my reddish eyes..but nt by my tears…

  11. In fact holding your tears at the time of grief is far more difficult than crying out. I have seen women crying even for smaller problems in life and enjoying the sympathy which they gain by such act. Ppl are in a habit of giving gyaan and assuming that those who dont cry openly are not emotional enough to feel the pain. I have myself gone through this many times. Everybody has a different way of dealing with pain and the impact of pain can only be experienced or judged by the person who is going through it.

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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