When I was in class 10th I heard a rumour [then] making rounds in the family that my cousin brother and his wife have to adopt since she can’t conceive. Could not get totally inside the matter and understand the issue right away. But some-things were clear..like: I’ll have a cousin who will be brought form outside and that people-specially at higher rungs of the family ladder-were not so very happy with this..cause the discussion tone was always kind of hush-hush or a bit sad !
Never gave a thought at that then…but as I grew up and started understand things more clearly I realized that I’ve this feeling
residing developing inside my heart that I want to adopt one child in my life.Growing older-age wise and experience wise-I find that the feeling is still intact and I’m very much sure about it..now that I’m able to make financial decisions on my own..I’m pretty sure ! But every thing has an angle to it,right..nothing goes just the way we plan !
Read an article in Times Crest edition of May 22,2010 [section:Relationships]…I felt so proud reading about the couples that have adopted even after having their biological children…and they’re so logical about it…one statement from a female- “When I don’t need to discuss or ask in the family about having my biological children then I shouldn’t be required to ask about adopting a child as well“
How true is that ? Isn’t it a personal..very personal decision of the couple to adopt or not ? May be the set up that our society is into..people still don’t know how to digest the fact that ‘adoption’ is pretty simple phenomenon..and it will take ages for people to understand this ! Sigh ! Okay, I still feel if you can’t digest the fact of adoption keep it to yourself..we’re not forcing you to get into it,right ? Well yeah,I’ve been opposed on this idea by family..opposed ? well not really since I’ve just introduced this thought..their reasoning might carry some sense it doesn’t make my reasoning any less or wrong !
I just feel sad about one thing-why for every thing in families one has to convince lot of people who might not be even involved in the later stages of the issue. Why can’t decisions like these be just limited to the couple itself ? Why is Adopting an ‘issue’ attracts raised eye-brows and sour hearts ?
Putting up a view of a lady that I know:
The Christian couple,in the neighbourhood, adopted a Hindu girl..the take of this lady on the matter is something like this: “why couldn’t they take one of their brother’s child rather than picking up a child from outside and that too Hindu?”
Do I really need to write more about the mind set of our society..the so called educated one ?
P.S.-My brother and SIL adopted a baby girl and they’re a happy family since then..and I don’t feel anything odd or wrong about it !