An announcement: My Travel blog HAPPY FEET is now at wordpress.Go check
Off late there are working women in every household..specially in our generation all the women prefer to work than sitting at home and specifically doing nothing…of course there are women who work from home and have creative brains to use their knowledge and skills without even having to step of the house..I respect them !
But what I’m talking here is about the females who work and are married. Also these days every second family that you see has nuclear set up ..specially in metro cities and abroad. So when this is the situation-Both partners working and no helping hand at home and on top of that a kid/s too to look after. This is a common situation which we get to see.
In such cases if the husband does the chores with the wife,what’s wrong I say ? It all depends on their mutual understanding and respect for each other-that’s my feeling. When the wife is struggling equally hard and juggling between home and office-in this case the husband himself feels his helping hand is required at home too.
It sounds pretty normal,right ? I was thinking…how many people really think this is fair?
I’ve seen people who are still against the ‘husband doing the chores after coming home in the evening’ stuff…like I heard this lady talking about his son the other day:
“Poor son.Slogs the entire day at the office and when he comes home he has to make tea/coffee for him and the daughter-in-law. I just don’t understand why she can’t do this ?”
Please note that the DIL in the above case in into a full time job and comes almost at the same time when the dear son comes home.
Another real life example: of course from a MIL
“So what if she also slogs the entire day in the office..she has to come home and cook and clean..after all she is a woman and it’s her duty ! We did the same..our husbands never stepped into the kitchen…that’s how it is and that’s how it should be”
Yet another example: from a husband himself
“A man does not step into the kitchen..that’s not his area..who asked the women to step out of the house?They chose it for themselves..whereas they should sit at home and look after the kids..that’s their job”
In this case the wife is a school teacher and the couple has two kids..the wife gets up as early as 4 am to do all the chores and then goes to school..whereas the husband is a businessman-which means he can moderate his time slot and very easily lend a helping hand to the wife,but alas !
Yes, these people do exist in the world and I pity these people..they will never know what does ‘opening their brain windows and letting the fresh air come in’ means ! They want to get stuck to their old dogmas and never move a step beyond their circle of notions. No matter how much the other partner keeps suffering or struggling..they will never see the pain…My heart aches for these ladies…
I don’t say that husbands should work in the kitchen or share the household’s load with the wife compulsorily..all I’m saying is it’s fine if the husband is helping the wife when it is really really required !
Having said that, at the same time I’ve also seen and known people who really care and understand what it means for a woman to step out of the house and handle work and home both at the same time…they know that sometimes the balancing act may go wrong or either side may demand more attention than usual and that is where these people don’t hesitate to chip in and take over… These are normal human beings..no gods on earth..but they’re sensitive and responsible… like Comfy’s D and Swaram’s Su and G’s boy and My brothers and brothers-in-law or even for that matter…the husband this side too 🙂
Talking of this I’ve an incident to share that took place at our household few years back:
Husband-with the feeling of helping me- had cut the watermelon in a little oversized pieces to eat after dinner. Once the dinner was over we all sat to have the yummy watermelon…A perfectionist that I’m, I instantly commented-mind you very politely- that the pieces could have been a little bit smaller so that it would have been easy to eat them-fit them in the mouth precisely 🙂 and the husband realized that and said ‘oh yes,next time :)’
I thought the issue was over there…I mean was it an issue at all ! But the MIL chipped in saying “ek toh usne woh kiya jo uska kaam nahi hai and you’re finding mistakes in that.You should appreciate he helped you”.
Oh boy !!! Hmm..so there ! I got the hang of it and was careful there onwards about asking the husband to do some chore-after all who wants an issue taking place after silly things in the house,eh?
But I must appreciate that over the period of time she has mellowed down and accepted the fact that husbands do help in the kitchen-some cutting,chopping or slicing is fine-in general and specially when there are loads of people pouring for dinner/lunch.Thankfully it got settled in my household !
But I feel pretty sad for the other ladies who struggle but don’t get any help from the husbands when it is required ! The societal norms ? What kind of norms are these which refuse to treat a woman like a human being who can feel tired at the end of the day and would love a glass of water in her hands rather she getting it for herself ?