Recently at a family gathering I was told about a distant cousin [3rd or may be 4th cousin] who was present there with her husband and a cute little baby girl-that she has married a non-maharashtrian [non-brahmin to be precise]-of course by going against the entire family like uncles and aunts and the parents and the siblings et al-plus the pair looked a bit odd. Now how you ask ? My cousin is taller than her husband by few centimetres and that he is bald..to add to the tiniest details-he is not ‘that’ rich as per our family’s parameters.

Me and my first cousin who were being fed by these silly details,were surprised to hear almost everyone was talking about the couple-of course in hush hush ! It occurred that this was their first presence in the huge family gathering like this after their marriage and hence they were the centre of discussion that day !

I always tend to question these so-called distant uncles and aunties about their opinions.Well,they seem to have an opinion about everything existing on this earth and beyond. But specially when it comes to individual choices like marriage. Of course it was a love marriage and the girl made her own choice.Okay,honestly yes the tall girl and a short guy do look different but that’s that…you need not call them ODD or MISFIT just because of their height or colour.

I remember ‘Jab We Met’s dailogue here: woh pyaar mein the aur pyar mein kuch sahi aur galat nahi hota

Trust me she appeared very very happy with the guy-the so called shorter-than-her-bald guy !What else could you ask for ? The first and foremost things that parents see for their children in the marriage is Stability and Happiness,isn’t it ? And the couple really looked both of it-Stable and happy-if not affluent !

I don’t say that every person who opts for a love marriage against the family lands in the right place-of course there could be mistakes taking place in judgement.But this doesn’t mean that every person,opting for love marriage,lands up in the wrong place with the wrong person. Just because someone has not married according to your rituals and customs doesn’t mean the couple is entirely wrong in their choices…I request these relatives to base their gossips and negative jabber on some hard facts.

One of my first cousins also got married outside the caste. In fact 5 out of 7 of my first cousins married outside our caste-yes non-brahmins at that. So what ! Touchwood, all these 5 couples are happily married since 10- 15 years now and have happy lives with lovely children ! There are some interesting anecdotes behind these marriages-some typical filmy style…would share them soon 🙂

Image Source:Stockphoto

How does it matter ? Same caste or no…same religion or no ? It matters only when the two people involved in the relationship are not comfortable with the changes taking place in their lives there after. But a well thought decision if taken by mature adults and if they’re successful at conducting the relationship, then who are these relatives to de-mark or de-fame the LOVE marriage on the basis of appearance or caste ?

On a lighter note-the spouse could be like anything but would surely be useful.. 😉 Oh yes check it our for yourself here


53 thoughts on “Mis-match,Mis-fit,Mis-caste…

      1. u like pan masala also?? 8crinkles her nose* 😉 ..

        btw I can so imagine this.. it happend when my bro married my SIl who was not only outside caste but also elder to him!!! Someday I shall also tell u my ‘out caste’ story 😉

        1. out with it immediately..now don’t tell me that you’ll wait till FILMY FRIDAY stuff !! Oh Gawwd puleeeze…come out with it..NOW DQ 😀

          Hahahaah…I like your crinkled nose 😀

  1. Seriously…I don’t know why people bother giving all these unwanted opinions about the couples physical appearances and stuff when the two are happy with each other. It’s how they feel with each other that matters ultimately, and so why does any thing other than the couple’s togetherness bother someone? Anyway….

    P.S: On a different note, I just finished reading Shadow of the Wind and so loved it. I couldn’t put it down once I started it and had to read it all in a go. It was totally worth it…mind-blowing book.

  2. Hey..u are very right about this. When I got married to my hubby, I got to hear all these gossips..she being a tamil bhramin marrying a non- bhramin maharastrain…blah blah…Well, I felt sad, when I heard such talks from my own relatives…but now it doesn’t matter!!!!

  3. Interesting post Nu…I never understand why any of the above is other people’s business. It’s plain ridiculous. On a different note though, I have been noticing many couples these days here where the guy is either shorter than the girl or the same height. Personally, I prefer a guy who is a lot taller than me. I am only 5 feet…so don’t really want a shorter partner! 😉

  4. They say that in India, one does not marry a man or woman but an entire family! Our culture is such that everyone wants beautiful children and so they see that the man and woman are well-matched. And one should also remember that ‘love’ exists only for a few years in the romantic mode. After that period one should not regret the ‘love marriage.’ I am glad that many of your cousins are happily married with many years to boast of. But that cannot be the touchstone for everyone.

    All said and done, ‘love’ is only one part of marriage, there are many other factors which also go into a successful marriage. Just wanted to provide another way of seeing this.

    Joy always,

    1. Stole my thoughts again, Su 🙂 Hugs to you…..

      One debate-discussion that never ends eh 😛
      I think it is all about insecurities… the same insecurity the MIL feels when the DIL steps in or the same when a spouse feels when they meet the ex.

      We are in India darling where family ties are very very important and we should thank God for that loving support system we have in them. And as they say, with good things come the bad, You just mentioned one of those side effects!

      But as Sus said, there are lots of ‘kids’ who fail in love marriages! and the risk about this enterprise is, 1) we have nobody to blame but ourselves and 2) our self respect will rarely allow us to accept this big blunder (if it turns out to be) in front of our families 😛

      If all is happy, IGNORE !!!!!!!!!!!!

      the scribbler?? the scribbler utters…. Me thinks me was too long away from ur expositions to note the change in the name and the header !!

      Hugs Nu 🙂

      1. Pinoo,I know what you’re saying.Read the reply to Sus below 🙂

        Oh yes you’ve been somewhere in your busy land since long 😐 You’ve being missed,don’t you know ?

        Come back 🙂 HUGS

      2. while i aqree we do marry the family in India…there are lots of kids who fail in arranged marriages too..

        The tag of arranged/love marriage dont determine the marriage status…it’s the compatibility and of course the need that the other person is not some psychotic fool~

        1. yes that’s right…it’s not about the marriage arrangement…it’s about the ability to conduct yourself throughout the relationship…and for that matter any relationship !

    2. I agree with the view that you’ve presented here and that’s why I had mentioned in my post that I don’t say that every person who opts for a love marriage against the family lands in the right place-of course there could be mistakes taking place in judgement.

      so,my whole point is not every love-marriage is a disaster and that too just because of physical shortcomings 🙂

  5. Bleh. I say ignore. Idle minds find issues with every damn thing in the world, so let them talk. I personally DISLIKE such comments with extreme intensity, and the only way to handle them is Laugh like a maniac when these comments are made and say ‘you really are jobless huh’ Hahahah!

    I know, not possible really, but that’s what I feel like doing. Oh, and about the tall girl, short guy thing, hehe, my definition of good looks was tall guy with a lot of hair on his head, so short guys were a strict no-no! Explains why The Dude is almost a foot taller than I am!

    1. we want guys taller than us and still we talk about equality 😛 😛 😀

      My idea of a guy was one with a nice think mush!!….. moral of the story! always see the person and then fall in love 😀 😀 😀 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

      DI…….. hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 🙂

    2. LOL @ your def of good looks 🙂 we are usually fed [from somewhere] that TDH is the best guy in the universe 🙂

      But yeah though laughing at the aunts directly is not possible but we can ignore certainly 🙂

    3. me too me too…as in personal preference for tall ones…umm though i did date a guy a couple of cms (he insisted) taller than me, a half muslim and a bit younger than me…lol !!!

      but i undid it and became a good girl and married a tall (one foot too), hindu who is four years elder to me…talk of reforming!

  6. Aunties in the family have nothing to do but bother about others. If you are single they would talk abt nothing bt getting you married and if you are married then they would talk about finding faults in your pair… The best way to deal with them is to consider them Non existent…

    1. Saks…haaalp ! This is the message I get when I click on the play button for this video

      “This video contains content from Eros Entertainment, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.”

      My country film and I’m not eligible to view it? Sigh !!!

  7. ‘It matters only when the two people involved in the relationship are not comfortable with the changes taking place in their lives there after. But a well thought decision if taken by mature adults and if they’re successful at conducting the relationship, then who are these relatives to de-mark or de-fame the LOVE marriage on the basis of appearance or caste ?’ – Couldn’t agree more!

    All the people gossiping, are just trying to keep themselves busy. What really matters is how happy and secure the couple are in their relationship, how they look, which caste, etc etc ar all just frills which really don’t matter – as far as the couple themselves are not bothered by them.

  8. Good post – even I always wonder that love need not happen to ppl, who are perfect in physical appearances…isnt love based on the inner qualities ???

    I like ur take on this – love that pic tooo 🙂 And of course, the song… 🙂 🙂

  9. Lovely Header Scribbler.. and that’s an interesting subject yu’ve picked up there.love is much beyond physical appearances.. only if Indian relatives would mind their own business life would be simpler…

  10. I hope he is not underestimated/neglected for being rich according to ‘the’ parameter. 😐

    (Sorry, but I haven’t read the entire post as I’m on a hurry at this moment. Maybe you wrote about this but I missed. Don’t mind in that case. 🙂 )

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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