There are females that know ‘how to’ stand for themselves. There are females who know that they should stand for themselves but don’t know ‘how to’ and then there are females who don’t know at all that they should and must stand for their rights. They sometimes don’t even know the word ‘rights’ exists for them-for female fraternity.
Ironically, we educated women know that the latter two kind of women exist but we can’t do much about that. Sometimes we might be eager to help them but it’s difficult to move them from their age old dogmas.
My heart aches for all women who fall in this category. Who forget the individual that resides within them and willingly spend their lives on the relationships like mother, daughter, wife and sister-most of the time where these relationships are not fruitful or just the ones which know taking!
But what happens when the women mentioned in the first category also behave in the way they are not expected to? It hurts. Doesn’t it? Especially when the female is very close to you-your friend, sister or a close relative?
I’ve come across one such woman who is knowingly sacrificing her desires, wishes and needs on something called being a good bahu. I object to the act of putting self in trouble and making others happy [no I don’t mean I’m against self-less love or unconditional love but] I believe it is not a wise thing to do always-specially when the ‘others’ are not ready to understand your situation, not willing to compromise even a tiny bit and they just know how to ‘use’ you-basically where ‘others’ are selfish to the core!
I know there are every kind of possibility that females will do certain things because they’ve been brought up like that, because their role demands it, because they don’t have any other option but succumb to the condition and finally because they’re helpless.
I don’t know if I’m making any point at all but there is some uneasiness within me which is not ready to accept that my close friend is going through this phase of life and knowing that she can stand for herself she is taking it as it is being served to her.
2 days back I finished reading LADIES COUPE [by Anita Nair] and the book brought me to terms with what woman actually does wrong to herself by neglecting the human being inside her, by forgetting her own existence, by leaving herself behind and catering to others’ needs and following the customs.
I don’t want females to break the rules and bonds and go wild. I want them to balance. I know they’ve certain responsibilities on their shoulders of making a family and retaining it in its right place but that does not mean that she has to forget herself completely and serve others, does it?
I wish females would recognise their inner strength and ‘live’ their lives. I wish the environment and the culture we dwell in provides women the opportunity to live for their dreams and desires. I so wish we ‘all’ treat women as a ‘human being’ and not only ‘service provider’ who are not expected to get tired or take a pause in life.
I just wish people,specially woman herself,realize that she is a WOMAN which does not only mean Wife Of MAN.
Ladies Coupe review can be found here.