Give them some sunshine,Give them some rain

Warning: I might sound too old and too idealistic but then that’s what I believe in and I’m putting it down here. Those who agree can nod and add to the post and those who disagree can continue doing that and still add to the post, after all disagreeing doesn’t make us enemies right? 🙂

Welcome to the next generation.

>A 2 year old refuses to listen to any other song but ‘Sheela…’ these days and makes it miserable for parents to handle him if the wish is not fulfilled.

>Another 2 year old girl dances to the tune of the same song and makes it a point that every time she hears this song she is in front of the TV or the music system and shaking her little belly and tiny bums. In this case there is an icing on the cake too…this little girls’ dadi’s [father’s mother] name is Sheela. It is so embarrassing for the entire family when the little one makes it a compulsion for everyone to sit together and enjoy her show…’Sheela ki jawani….’

>A 11 year old continuously sings a song in her loud shrieked voice- ‘Choti si umar mein lag gaya rog,kehte hai log….’

I might have ranted about the same issue time and again about today’s generation and the today’s age that they are growing up in and every time I think about all this I fail to understand what and how could we stop all this? I mean how will kids remain kids of their own age rather growing up and laughing and giggling like adults on some nasty joke or movie scene and not-their-age-type songs?

Yesterday, while I was watching ‘Guzaarish’ we had a family with 2 kids-approximately 3-4 years old. The kids literally giggled at the scene where Hrithik and Aishwarya make moaning sounds and say things like ‘oh yeah, yes yes…’ for a few seconds. I kept wondering what those kids would have understood of that scene?

The other day when we went to watch movie ‘Akrosh’ a couple had brought their two kids ranging in the age group of 4-6. And they were watching all that drama about rape, killing, and all the bloody show. I was stunned…how could parents even think of watching such a movie with their tiny toddlers? Don’t they fear questions like ‘papa, what do you mean by rape?’ or ‘mom, why is this aunty not wearing something on her shoulders?’ or may be the kids are too smart to ask such questions, huh!

Aren’t we elders in the role of parents, uncle-aunts, and elder siblings going wrong somewhere? Aren’t we as a whole system responsible for snatching away the innocence of these little children dwelling in this era?

Remember the times we grew up? Were we ever introduced to such exorbitant show of riots, fights, skin show and raunchy songs? Aren’t we happy that we grew that way? That we knew things only when we should have known them and not before time?

I’m not a parent yet but I always have this fear building in me day in day out when I see or come across such incidences taking place. How will I tackle my kids? What will I tell them when such questions come in front of me before time? How will I make them stay away from the ‘bad’ world that is any way going to dawn upon them somehow?

Also, what I fear is, will I become over protective because I think a lot of these things? Will I over shelter my kids and make them dumb from inside? Will I, in the process of keeping them away from all this and preserving their innocence, constantly pull them back from their growing up and make them fall short as compared to their peers?

A lot of you here are already parents… do you also go through the same thinking process? Do you also carry the same fears as mine? Do you also shake your head when you see a toddler talking like an adult and his/her parents applauding the kid on that?

And a lot of you are in the same boat like me…but does your mind wanders in the future and you think about your future kids and their future? Or it’s just me being over sensitive and hyper about this parenting issue?

This is not all…not that I always come across these kind of examples…I’ve come across some great examples too…

Like the other day I read at Smithu’s blog that she watched Discovery Channel with Poohi and what really impressed me was Smithu also later sat with her and made her draw the volcano that they had seen on the programme,like a fun project. Isn’t that a fabulous way to let her watch the television and even control what and how much  she watches?

Or I’ve heard a lot of times at comfy’s that little Buzzie pie,who is less than 2 years old,has this sleeping time table right from the start…this will make her habitual of sleeping early and on time..healthy habit !

Looking at these examples,I mentally keep making notes as to how I have to tackle my kids. I can’t deny them of television and music system or for that matter the god-of-all Internet. But, I can certainly put some system across and make sure what’s being used for what and when and how.

I think every thing boils down to how parents want their kids to grow. How they think should the kids be moving and in which direction. I always feel that once you have children there are certain rules and regulations that you need to put to your lifestyle too. Bring some changes in your system too then only can you make your kids do what you want them to. Am I right?

Though I can only imagine things right now…it’s one thing to be in the situation and make decisions and other thing to watch from a distance and comment,I know!


16 thoughts on “Give them some sunshine,Give them some rain

  1. You know what Nu, we are responsible for what our children do.

    Poohi is 4, and while she does watch TV – I am very strict about what she watches. She is yet to watch a bollywood movie – mainly because there are so many scenes that are inappropriate for children. The only movies that she watches are the certified children’s movies. I also check out reviews and make sure that it is appropriate for her to watch.

    She has no clue about Sheila’s jawani or Munni’s badnaami, because she does not get to watch it. I know, lots of parents feel that I am over protective, but I think there is an appropriate age for everything. I have friends who take their children for movies and don’t think twice about it. I also feel it is not fair to take a 2 year old for a 3 hour long movie – it is almost torture, isn’t it?

    The same goes for food as well. She has never asked me for coke or fizzy drinks – because I have never given it to her – right from the beginning. So now she knows that she has her drinks and grown-ups have theirs.

    Television has so much good to offer. As far as we as parents monitor and control what they watch and how much they watch, I think it can be very useful. But of course, if we let them watch whatever comes on the TV – then obviously they have a problem on their hands eventually.

    One thing we do is, that we switch on our TV only after she goes to bed. So the maximum that we watch in front of her is news or the BBC. And I maintain a strict bedtime schedule, which she is so used to now, that keeping her awake beyond 7:30 is almost impossible.

    1. You’re such a wonderful mum, Smithu…that’s why I mentioned above in the post too…I really appreciate the efforts you’re putting into her bringing up !

      Good job 🙂 Tomorrow when Poohi grows up she’ll thank you for this,I’m sure 🙂

  2. Hmmm. I am not a mom, so I wouldn’t want to say anything right now. Also, I know I would not stop my kid from watching tv, but ofcourse, I would have timings, and channels that I pick 🙂 Though I do believe there is something such as being over-protective. I have heard of people not showing kids Tom and Jerry because it is violent, and I don’t get that. But taking a kid for a Guzaarish or an Aakrosh is beyond my understanding. But if the kid likes Sheela ki jawani, I wont mind it, for the music bit 😉
    Also, I believe sometimes parents need some time to say watch a movie, and have no choice but to tag a kid along. I am known to have yelled ‘ Heroine ke ghar me bathroom nahi hai kya’ while watching ‘Sagar’ in the cinema hall with my parents years ago! And trust me, it took me a LONG time to grow up, I don’t think I still have 😀 But point being, as long as there is a limit to everything, I think it is manageable, and I guess a parent would always do what is best for the kid!

    Long rant, but then I don’t do such posts na, so using up your comment space :P!

    1. Ahem I agree with DI here .. and as I told u DI .. either I should shut down my blog before I conceive else should ensure that my kids never discover that their usualy old fashioned mom analyses Munni v. Shiela!!! 🙄

  3. Can’t say much on this post but then I completely agree with you on the fact that we as a whole system are responsible for snatching away the innocence from kids… Its time that we realize our responsibility and act accordingly…

  4. I am not a parent yet, but you just beamed my thoughts.. I was nodding through the posts and I have the same fears as yours. Being a parent is not easy especially if you are working.. i wonder how will i ever take care of my kid and my work together..especially with so much scope for kids to astray 😦

  5. Oh yes Definitely The parents has to decide what is best, This is a scenario i will give , called to a movie house a English movie Expendables (there is nothing in nudity or sex in the movie) a parent has his 5 year old kid, and the movie i think is 18 because of abuse and action.. HE would not listen , he said he bought two tickets , Now i know the person who gave the ticket should have asked the question , BUT I think the responsibility is that of a parent IT clearly states the AGE.. so why create a ruckus over this issue, I mean why would you want your kid to watch such movies so young…

    I do follow both Comfy’s and Smitha’s blog and I do get so many hints and ways of how to bring up a kid..
    I dont know why people are in this race of money that one of the parent cant stay back or work less jsut to look after the kids, In uk here the sensor age is taken care of whch is good but then kids can go home and watch it on DVD’d etc

    I can totally understand , I went to a friend house the kid is 8 year old and he was playing Miami VIce on his PS3 , and then in the game he picks this Prostitute in the car and as you said the noises etc, SO this car starts to jump up and down, I asked the kid Whats that, although he said in his kiddy way that its jsut funny and doesnot know what it means BUT STILL… I was horrified at listening to this friend of mine say that oh he went to this car boot sale and bought 50+ games for a fiver , I mean yeah its a bargain BUT NOT SUITABLE for a 8 year old…

    I think in todays time we are loosing aht innocense too early as @DI said the shouting “heroine ke ghar main bathroom nahin hai kya”, But i am sure today a big majority of kids would know …

    I just hope i also become a good parent as you say , I see so much of SHITE out in my work , its sometimes scary .. PARENTS need to go back to there roots , see how they were brought up, I know this freedom we all wished for, is ok but at what price we will find when OUR kids grow up…

    and Dont worry you will be a great parent, since you are keeping a note of all these to do – Not to do …. 🙂

  6. I m not a mom but I pretty well know what you are talking about. I have so many cousins and they have Kids. And as an aunt I somehow feel responsible for them. Some of my other cousins says I m strict with kids but I really dont think so. There is this very vulgar song in Telugu which I feel is disgusting. And my cousins daughters who are 10 and 6 sing and dance on the song and many people would make them sing and dance saying see “How talented they are”! It really disgusted me. You as an adult know the meaning… how can u let a child sing such vulgar songs and be proud of it and think its cute? There are many other songs they can dance to right? I have given them strict instructions never to sing or dance on that song (away from everyone of course) and till now atleast they listen to me.

  7. A very thought provoking post. TV and internet must be used with parental control. Kids these days are growing up too fast. This makes me sound so old! 😀

  8. I don’t know whether to agree or disagree and the confusion makes it hard for me to have solid views regarding this. Which is why I don’t plan to have kids for a long time. Not until I have figured this out.

    Most people seem to have the same views as you and have agreed with you. And I agree with you to an extent. I wouldn’t want my toddler to dance to shiela ki jawaani and then ponder over what jawaani really is. Having said that, I do not remember my parents monitoring my tv watching time very strictly. Agreed the tv didin’t expose you to the same things 20 years ago. But all the same, there was enough crap to corrupt a child’s mind. We had other songs like ‘Choli ke peeche kya hai’ which I watched. And I think I grew up fine. I still think I figured out a way to distinguish between good and bad, moral and evil, etc. Children are smarter than we think they are. And parents in those days were not as analytical as they are today.

    The thing about parenting is that you can never be sure of what you are doing. You will never know whether what you do is right or wrong, until the child grows up. We might think it is in the child’s best interest to avoid playing on the PS3 for example. And the same child might grow up with resentment and blame you for being so controlling and in the process, curtailing his/her individuality. I know parents of a 20 year old who insist on choosing the clothes he buys, because they truly believe they know best. He feels too controlled by his parents and does not respect them much. Putting restrictions on your child is good upto a point. But how do you decide what point to stop at? I see a lot of mommy bloggers voicing their views against the Ben 10 figures. Honestly, I’d have no problem if my child had an interest in them.

    I think the most important thing for a parent is to rethink before they take any decision regarding their child, and try and foresee how it will reflect in their child 20 years down the line. Would they hate them for it? Would they appreciate it? Would it cause them harm? How will it shape their personality/nature/individuality etc.

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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