What’s your preference?

While chatting with an old pal we arrived at the topic of making babies. So she asked me what do I want? I mean a girl or a boy? Before I could answer she typed in that please don’t tell me that anything is fine…tell me what’s your choice?

This left me thinking and thinking deep at that…first it made me think about her..why is she asking me such a question? Is she ‘I want a boy’ types? And also how do you chose or want a gender of a child? Okay let me reframe it. On what basis do you decide that you want a baby girl or a baby boy? What are the parameters one has to keep in mind to make that choice? Also do you really have this kind of a choice when you think of making babies?

Even today while our educated lot accepts that a girl and a boy is equal and that they don’t do any discrimination in their minds-there still is a pinch of extra happiness when a baby boy is born. Why?

What’s so magical about a boy that isn’t about a girl I ask? I’m a girl and I feel blessed to be born like one. I fortunately hail from the family where neither parents nor grand-parents entered the battle of sexes and discriminated between me and my brother. Even today my dad stands proud to have me as his first child and treated me & continues to treat me in all fairness. Not even once did my grand-mother made an ugly face by the fact that a girl was born to my mother as her first child.

But there is this one incident I would like to mention which is making stories since 30 years in our family. Sounds funny now but if you look deep you’ll find the problem with the mindset.

I was born in Kanpur. Uttar Pradesh any way is quiet generously famous for suffering by the ‘we-want-a-male-child’ syndrome. When I was born and the nurse had brought me out of the maternity room to the group of family members-my dad asked kya hua? To which the nurse very warily exposed me by unwrapping my body to indicate that it was me-a girl. She didn’t even utter the word ladki and very sad facedly handed me over to dad, sigh! It seems that she wasn’t happy at all to see a girl born in our family!

Any way this was way back in ‘80s but what about today? When we have supposedly crossed a decade and reached where everything is fair and equal for everyone? Even in today’s world and era people yearn for a male child. Especially, the ones who proclaim that they’re educated, belong to the high society and are balanced in the head types.

I pity those, really! No I don’t want to change their mindsets and all that stuff or tell them the importance of female and male ratio in our country. I just want them to be honest to themselves. I want them to admit that they want a male child. At least this fact would be hundred times better than the animated lie that they present time and again in front of the public just to prove how non-discriminating they are!

So yes I appreciate my friend’s question what’s my preference. By this she just wanted me to be honest and express my wish without any ifs and buts.


49 thoughts on “What’s your preference?

  1. Well me…i want a girl for amazingly shallow reasons like dressing her up in pretty clothes and ribbons and clips. And for slightly non shallow reasons like i think the relationship between a mom and a daughter is something that is extremely special. Also i genuinely feel that women who have daughters are a tad more sensitive to the world than women without.

    So while i am sure i would love a boy to death, i will feel quite awful if i dont get my baby girl…God u listening???

    1. I love these reasons for having girl..no don’t call them shallow Nuts 🙂 at least you are clear in your head as to what you want,sigh !

      By the way God is listening..why don’t you guys go ahead 😉

  2. WEll you did not reply to the question yourelf .. or did i miss it out ..
    YEs a male child always brings out a extra pinch of happiness , I guess its because of the way we all have been brought up, constantly listening to problems faced by some BAHU spmewhere, or what happeend to THAT woman when she gave birth to a baby girl… It is not what we can think or decide , and i am sure 99% of the times when this question is asked the first thing that comes to mind is a MAle child..
    It came ot my head a male child BUt not because i hate girls or anything like its because thats what or how we been brought up , thats what we see around us and the first impression or expression that our mind gets is what we experience .. I am not ashamed or anythign to think this way cause i dont differentiate between men-women i do think they are equal and in our family also its been the same ..
    My parents and grand parents gave equal importance ot my sis too.. rather i think she sometimes got a better deal then me , I cant remember anything that my Dad said NO to her and ANYTHING i ever asked the first reply was always NO.

    But then everyone wants a male child to carry on the family name , my mother are 6 sisters so dear grandpa went on trying till he had a baby boy.. But then I can also see that he always treated all the sisters equally …

    Well there you go that my reply … 🙂 right or wrong thats me he he he 🙂

    1. nothing’s right or wrong about your comment…I’m glad you expressed yourself honestly B 🙂

      as far as I’m concerned I really don’t know about my preference 🙂 I won’t say I’m confused but I surely don’t have preference !!

  3. I was asked that question once, long back by a relative. I didn’t even have the patience to think why it was being asked. I replied with – “Why you ask? Do you have a formula that works?” 😛 I have never been asked since then 😀

    Asking these questions, or deciding what you want is useless according to me. Its not like you can control right? Be happy and feel blessed with whatever you get!

    PS: Boo nurse! What were you smoking? You saw our bubbly Nu first and yet made a face? Hmph 😐

    1. that was one slapstick reply CR and thanks for the idea 😉 of course there is nothing in your hands/control but in general sometimes people have strong reasons behind wanting a boy/girl..so I guess that per say asking this question is okay,isn’t it?

      Dekh na..that nurse didn’t know whom she neglected then 😉

  4. This is my favourite topic. Not that I have “conversed” about this with anyone, but in my mind I have brooded a lot about it! And I never seem to come to any concrete decision. Just like Nuttie Natters I have all the shallow reasons to want a girl plus the special mother n daughter bond you spoke about, but there is a part of me which is scared to have a girl. It is not easy being a girl in this world! How will I protect her from everything that is so wrong in this world. But does that mean having a boy is easy? Bringing up a child is SUCH a challenge! And I’d also HATE if my son becomes a “mother’s boy” ! So, am totally totally confused as to what I want. But ultimately I also feel, be it a girl or a boy, the child should be HEALTHY. All these anomalies that I see in little children.. that scares me even more!! How will I cope with that as a mother?! *sigh*

    So am still not sure. I have not been able to come to a decision.

    p.s: I was born in Jaipur, and I was the second “girl” child of the family. As much as my father was happy and distributing sweets to the people around, people were stunned thinking that he must be lying- it has to be boy since he’s so happy!

    1. this dilemma is always going to be there I guess when you can’t pin point certain preference 🙂 and finally the bottom line is its going to be your own flesh and blood-whether it’s a boy or a girl 🙂

      what???? they thought your father is lying ? how silly !

  5. I just don’t understand why people have to ask this question in first place….. And if they do then they should accept the answer whatever the other person has to say…
    Thankfully I’m not asked this question so far coz right now people have this When marriage question to bug me… 😀 😀

  6. hahaha


    “”Being pregnant can be one of the most wondrous and magical adventure that you can ever experience. You will most likely feel love, patience and other emotions that bubble up within you.

    You also look forward to your baby’s arrival in this world with huge anticipation. You long for the day when you can finally physically carry your baby in your arms and look at your baby in the eyes.

    Your baby will only be inside of you for nine months, so enjoy the intimacy as long as it lasts.

    A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months!

    ** mother’s joy begins when new life is stirring inside… when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone.

    All the time we wondered and wondered, who is this person coming/growing/turning/floating/swimming deep, deep inside.””

    A grand adventure is about to begin.!!

    Wishing you a healthy and love-filled pregnancy!

  7. Such a dumb question. I am quite shallow too – I always wanted a girl – but I knew that be it a boy or a girl, I would live my baby to bits. Somehow I always saw myself mothering a little girl -call me crazy.

    But I know what you are saying. I hear this from so many people. The other day a friend, who has a 3 yr old girl, was advised by another who had 2 boys to eat some vegetable that apparently ensures that you have a boy! And this is from a supposedly educated woman, who lives in the UK. How can people think like this? Another was told to follow some chinese calender or something to have a boy – It gets me so angry that people are ready to try all this for a male child? Why? Even in today’s world?
    Sadly so many people feel proud that they have a boy. As if they had something to do with it!

    1. Our basic instincts works too..so no calling you crazy 🙂 I’ve heard from lot of mothers that they get to know what’s baking inside them 🙂

      exactly my point..whatever gender it is …it’s your own flesh..how can you be sad or not like the baby?

  8. My favourite topic. I have always wanted a girl since the time I was 13 years old, without having any solid reasons. And I want her so much, that I am sure I will have her. I would keep talking about how sure I am I will only have a daughter. Now I am a little scared to say it, since I am married – people will ask me to go ahead and have her now.

    I remember a time when my friend said she wanted to have a boy, and everyone pounced on her, called her sexist and told her she was conservative in thought, etc. Whereas anybody who wanted a girl was smiled upon. Aren’t we showing preference towards one particular gender too? So I really don’t think much about this anymore.

    But I do pity people who want boys for reasons like carrying forward the family name, etc. More often than not, they are the ones who get kicked in the teeth by their own precious sons.

    1. so clear headed of you to know what you want…whether you get the same or not is of course is in His hands…but at least you have your reasons clear !

      I know what you’re saying…but I don’t hate or dislike people who say they want a baby boy..they can sure want one and why not but I don’t want them to pretend that girl is also fine when from inside they WANT a boy and koi bargain nahi chalega !

      Also,the reasons like carrying the family name and all..I too feel that’s too shallow!

  9. How does it matter? Is me deciding what I want going to make it happen in anyway? It’s a baby, doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl. 🙂 I think I will be ok with what I get 😛

  10. Well, like Smithu, I know we both will love our baby to bits, whatever it is!
    But, I hv always seen us parenting atleast one girl 😛 And given that I think and believe and have experienced that Dads and daughters share a lovely bond, I sooo wanna see the same between our daughter and Su 😀 I might feel a tad bit J too, but still 😉

  11. yes… I know what you mean abt the nurse’s reaction!
    While my parents were over the moon happy with 2 girls – they have had to listen to a lifetime of cribbings by others!!! bah!
    Me – I want both – a girl and a boy – because only then will I be able to fulfill one more dream – of bringing them up without stereotyping them based on gender!

  12. Just wanted to add – what annoys me is the desperation to have a male child. Just like I always wanted a girl, some might want a boy. But the problem is when people get upset because they had a girl or feel the need to keep tryin for a boy – that is what gets me.

    1. that’s the worst part..me too thinks that wanting a certain gender is still okay but on not having the same and getting sad about it is a blunder !!! After all that’s your child 😦

  13. Well very honestly my preference keeps changing on loads of thing… You know when I watched the Cheeni Kum movie I so wanted the chirpy daughter like that. Then there are times I see my nephew and feel that a boy would also be good fun to raise.

  14. My preference is always girl. I dont know why, but I think i love to dress up kids and dressing up a girl will be more fun :P. As of now, this is the only criteria why I want to have a girl 😛

  15. 😀 Why do we not call people who want girls biased 😉
    I have like 4 guy friends whose wives are expecting soon, and all of them want girls!
    Me, well, I am pretty unsure, I keep swinging, girls because they are so doll like, but boys are cute too, and I really would like The dude to have some company 😛

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