We’ve a family in adjacent house which is full of surprises all the time. Oh,I don’t know if ‘surprises’ is the right word here cause these are pretty unpleasant surprises.Most of the times the elders in the family
fight create a riot-which lasts at least for an hour or so- and almost every time it is only after 10 pm that they realize they need to fight with each other. This is the usual pattern but this doesn’t mean that they don’t fight in the broad day light!!
The set up of the family is like this: 2 couples,with 2 children per couple and the only mother-in-law. So, you can imagine the permutation and combination of pairs who fight. To add to this all these have never been to school except the children. So now you get the idea,right?
I’ve been observing this family since I came to live here post marriage which is now 5.5 years. And H tells me it has always been like this from years that they’ve been neighbours. Obviously we aren’t on ‘talking terms’ with these people except a little Hi-Hello and a smile when we come face to face.
But the reason to mention it here is even in this kind of set up there is so much to learn from them.I know you must be wondering why I’m saying this when the family doesn’t qualify as being a ‘good’ family at all. But I learn a lot from their mistakes is all I can say.
Especially from the eldest girl of the children’s lot who is just 12 years old. She needs a special mention here. She weathers all the storms that come and go in her family day in day out and you would find her smiling all the way, any time ! She sings songs and stays happy herself.
The family is money deprived too but this girl is found never complaining about her status and the things she should be wanting at her age. She cleans,cooks and even helps her parents with the tiny ice-cream shop that they’ve. Also, when there are ugly fights taking place she is the one who tries to resolve-be it between her parents, her father and her uncle or her mother and her aunt or her mother and her grandmother. She is truly the hero of the family. She goes to school but of course she is not oriented in making her career or something given her dramatic family background. Attending school is just another chore in her life which she is doing religiously.
I really feel sad for her and that I can’t do much about it.At this tender age she needs to be coached for the upcoming life, she needs to be pampered if not by materials but at least nice words from her parents. But ironically no elder in the family has the inclination to bring up their children in this manner. They use harsh words for their children and they use words like sali/sala normally as in calling the child like baby or sweetie.
I shudder when I think of her future and when she becomes a mother. First of all which family she will get married into? Would her future family be the same like her current-which is most likely.Will she behave the same way with her children as she has been brought up?
This is what happens with plenty of such families around and they create a clan of people who are illiterate, have no lessons in social conduct, the men of the family don’t bother about their responsibilities and little girls are turned into nothing but a cook,a wife and a mother.
A break needs to be applied to this on going process of cultivating such species. And the only solution is education is what I think. Honestly,saying and thinking all this is pretty easy and sounds positive too but starting from somewhere is not that easy and when something like this has to be done it has to be properly planned and then executed. You need manpower and other resources too to get involved in such projects. How many of us really have all this in us to take this plunge. I don’t think I’ve. Though I might be having great ideas to do things for people around and more. But I’m yet to begin to even plan and hence this all seems like a far fetched dream right at this moment.
Right now I’m more concerned about this girl. I just wish something magical happens and she lands in a decent family in her future.