The girl next door

We’ve a family in adjacent house which is full of surprises all the time. Oh,I don’t know if ‘surprises’ is the right word here cause these are pretty unpleasant surprises.Most of the times the elders in the family fight create a riot-which lasts at least for an hour or so- and almost every time it is only after 10 pm that they realize they need to fight with each other. This is the usual pattern but this doesn’t mean that they don’t fight in the broad day light!!

The set up of the family is like this: 2 couples,with 2 children per couple and the only mother-in-law. So, you can imagine the permutation and combination of pairs who fight. To add to this all these have never been to school except the children. So now you get the idea,right?

I’ve been observing this family since I came to live here post marriage which is now 5.5 years. And H tells me it has always been like this from years that they’ve been neighbours. Obviously we aren’t on ‘talking terms’ with these people except a little Hi-Hello and a smile when we come face to face.

But the reason to mention it here is even in this kind of set up there is so much to learn from them.I know you must be wondering why I’m saying this when the family doesn’t qualify as being a ‘good’ family at all. But I learn a lot from their mistakes is all I can say.

Especially from the eldest girl of the children’s lot who is just 12 years old. She needs a special mention here. She weathers all the storms that come and go in her family day in day out and you would find her smiling all the way, any time ! She sings songs and stays happy herself.

The family is money deprived too but this girl is found never complaining about her status and the things she should be wanting at her age. She cleans,cooks and even helps her parents with the tiny ice-cream shop that they’ve. Also, when there are ugly fights taking place she is the one who tries to resolve-be it between her parents, her father and her uncle or her mother and her aunt or her mother and her grandmother. She is truly the hero of the family. She goes to school but of course she is not oriented in making her career or something given her dramatic family background. Attending school is just another chore in her life which she is doing religiously.

I really feel sad for her and that I can’t do much about it.At this tender age she needs to be coached for the upcoming life, she needs to be pampered if not by materials but at least nice words from her parents. But ironically no elder in the family has the inclination to bring up their children in this manner. They use harsh words for their children and they use words like sali/sala normally as in calling the child like baby or sweetie.

I shudder when I think of her future and when she becomes a mother. First of all which family she will get married into? Would her future family be the same like her current-which is most likely.Will she behave the same way with her children as she has been brought up?

This is what happens with plenty of such families around and they create a clan of people who are illiterate, have no lessons in social conduct, the men of the family don’t bother about their responsibilities and little girls are turned into nothing but a cook,a wife and a mother.

A break needs to be applied to this on going process of cultivating such species. And the only solution is education is what I think. Honestly,saying and thinking all this is pretty easy and sounds positive too but starting from somewhere is not that easy and when something like this has to be done it has to be properly planned and then executed. You need manpower and other resources too to get involved in such projects. How many of us really have all this in us to take this plunge. I don’t think I’ve. Though I might be having great ideas to do things for people around and more. But I’m yet to begin to even plan and hence this all seems like a far fetched dream right at this moment.

Right now I’m more concerned about this girl. I just wish something magical happens and she lands in a decent family in her future.

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19 thoughts on “The girl next door

    1. Right Now after reading this article i did not want to come first 😦 .. what a sad state of affairs in the neighboiurs house and the poor girl.. Just 12 years old Oh my.. you are right in thinking whats going ot happen to her when she grows up.. sometimes i think god does not do justice i mean such a jovial-hard working – intelligent girl and yet she is going throuhg all this SAD..

      hmmm….looking at her sometimes it feels that God is unfair

      I feel sad now children should not be going through this when the idiots of parents are at fault..totally agree with you that something shud be done.. but all this requires a lot of planning and resources , if you think of something do let me know tooo… the problem is even if someone asks the parents t othink about the little one they will jsut turn back and say its none of our business .. tricky situation…

      yeah very tricky !

      Heres wishing the same as you that something magical happens for the kids in the household not just the girl but all founr of them and they have a decent life ..
      AMEN…

      Amen indeed !

  1. poor her. i wish something positive comes along in her life, and that too soon. i wish for a bright future for her.

    Yeah I hope this really happens 🙂

  2. What are you saying??? It must be quite a task having to bear the noise next door..

    you bet it is,sigh !

    but I don’t agree with you where the education part comes in. Education does not guarantee good character and values. Somebody who never went to school can have amazing judgement, clarity of thoughts and actions. While the opposite can still hold true. I dont believe the answer to anything can be education. It is more of experience with what life throws at you and your upbringing that matters.

    you’re right but what when I said education I meant specifically for these type of people and with the backing of education people can still make difference to their lives…more so education as in not only the one we get in schools but ‘educating’ them in proper manner for judgement and clarity of thoughts that you’ve mentioned….

    There are thousands of women all over the world who, in spite of a degree become ‘a mother, wife and cook’ [quote] either out of circumstances or choice. And since when did being that get equal to ‘nothing’?

    No, I didn’t mean women who become mother,wife and cooks are equal to nothing..please note I’m talking in particular reference..I’m talking of these women who are treated like objects and people who are supposed to do these chores and that’s all…nothing beyond…and again I’ll like to mention that the women you’re mentioning who chose to become ‘mother,wife and cook’ in spite of degrees stand stronger since they know when the need be they can be on their own whereas women of the category that I’m talking in my post here don’t have a choice but to stick to the life they’ve been assigned to..so again..education plays an important role in general 🙂

  3. Poor kid! 😦 Gosh!! to grow up so fast! and 12 is such a rebellious age! I remember driving my mom up the wall with my antics!! 😀 I hope she grows up to be something and that her future is brighter and better!

    I exactly do the same..seeing her always reminds me of my growing up years…I hope so too Pix!!

  4. Oh, thats so sad to hear abt….sometimes, even if we offer help, they wont be willing to accept it from us, right ?? My wishes to that girl for a bright future for her…let the universe listen to her pleas for peace at home… 🙂

    You’re right…we can’t just barge in and offer help..that’s their ‘family matter’ 😦 Amen to your wishes Ums!

  5. That is so sad.. I hope something wonderful happens too.. A 12 yr old should be having dreams in her eyes, the world being her oyster. I just hope something magical happens.. And yes, education and awareness would definitely help.

    Sadly this is what only we people think…I wish her parents would have thought something similar !!!!

  6. God always tries to even things out. The strong girl that she is, she will def find some guy who appreciates her strength! At least thats how i hope it pans out

    I hope so nuttie !!

  7. ooooh!
    I have always been very scared of domestic violence. My parents NEVER fought, so we lived quite a peaceful life that way! The first time I saw real domestic violence was when I had gone to my uncle’s place once. I was 10 yrs old. They were in their room while I was on the terrace with my cousin (their son), and hearing all the noise I peeped into the room.. to see my uncle slapping aunty.
    I was horrified.That left such a deep impression in my mind, I wonder what this girl must be going through 😦

    That’s sad S..the impressions left on young mind and heart remain forever ! HUGS

  8. the neighbors living right in front of my parents’ home fight a lot too. but then their problem is something else. I hope the girl gets a good family.

    I hope so too !! sigh

  9. I don’t think this has anything to do with education.
    We have the educated (and very privileged) Mafatlals and Hitkaris of our society come out and wash their dirty linen in public too!

    please to check my reply to G above 🙂

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