I just don’t get it!

There are somethings which really don’t click with me. Call them beliefs or traditions or mental block [I think what I’m going to mention here falls in the category of mental block!] Well, I’ve seen in many households that there are separate cups / glasses for the maids to use.

My question to those families –Why do that? What does it signify? What do you want to state / prove by that? Ultimately a big WHY!

I just don’t understand any logical reason behind doing this. Like any family member would use the utensil to drink water / tea and it will get washed properly  after which it will get re-used by some other family member too. So, if the maid uses the cup for drinking tea that cup too will get washed properly and can be kept with all other cups in the kitchen, can it not?

This treatment hurts me. I don’t know whether this hurts the maids with whom this is happening [may be they know the norms and are used to it] but it surely hits me hard.

And I’m glad in my house we’re not following this norm at all. Our maid uses the glass from the same set that we do to drink water or whenever I pour her a cup of tea it is in the regular tea-cups set. Yes, I feel happy that I’m able to stop the tradition [?] that is being followed in umpteen households.

Just because the female is called a maid and assigned the household tasks and you pay her doesn’t mean you are to treat her that way! I think for what she is doing to support her family and earn a living by slogging she deserves to be treated with dignity and not discrimination!


12 thoughts on “I just don’t get it!

    1. I think this comes from the caste system, where in olden days houshold helps were from lower caste and it was considered a bad omen t otouch them or touch there utensils … I still rememebr in our village, I was studying in a modern public school and was not very good with this system , I would see the farm help come from UP or Bihar and they were made to sit away from the kitchen , they had there own utensils and When pouring or giving food to them , OUR utensil dare not touch there. and they would sit and not allowed to enter the house. The same way as pandits did to lower castes .. Thats where it has come and still exists in lot of rural areas especially the rich states punjab, haryana and so on …I once got a SLAP from my grand dad for giving the Lassi to the farm help in my glass… But hopefully with the increase in education and all people are coming out of it, I remember now when i go back home I make sure i take some gifts for them too and the family elders are happy giving them that.

      OMG, a slap ? 😦 I really hope so that with changing times these things will vanish,sigh!

      things are changing and Glad you dont have that in your house, after all our religion and beleifs taught us to be kind and good to fellow human beings and they are human too …

      I Punjabi culture there is still a lot of this casteism even here in UK, the lower caste got there own Gurudwaras or temples.


  1. I am completely agree with you…I have had incidents where unknowingly I used those “cups” and the house-people would tell me to use …I just do not understand why either! I think it is very deragatory….I am glad to know you do not follow that method…

    Sigh,that’s how things are with the elder generation Aparna..any way welcome here,hope to see you around 🙂

  2. The discrimination is not practiced in our house because it is the maid who helps to clean the dishes, then why give her a separate set of utensils to eat or drink in?

    Wow, that’s wonderful to hear AH !! At least some household are free of this tradition 🙂

  3. I love my mom to bits, but whenever i heard her say “tht’s the maid’s glass, dont use it”, it used to hurt a lot! I tried driving home the point, but it never did. She was always extra nice to all the maids we’ve had, mind you. she feeds them well, treats them well and pays them well. but the maids always had a separate glass and plate. (think she took that on as a custom from her mom ;))Anyway, mom took a voluntary retirement, became a full-time homemaker. Once, when she told me not to take the maid’s glass, i said “oh, so thr are two glasses i cant use in this house — the maid’s and yours” 😀 she was mighty hurt — and angry, let me tell you — and then, i again tried driving the point home. this time, it reached 😉 Now, we have a discrimination-free home! 😉 So, i think this custom will die soon. VERY few people of our generation think like this. so 🙂

    I’m so glad that you won the situation finally and also appreciate that you stuck to your guns ! Pat on your back Scorpia 🙂

    1. Right said, Nu. Even in our house such norms don’t apply and I’m glad for that. After a long time, I am coming here, NU. Hope you are well and so is your family.
      Joy always,

      Hey sus..me doing great 🙂 was on maternity break from the blog 😉 😀 How are things with you?

  4. Ah what a beautiful post, When my in laws visit us, they don’t drink from the glass we use. I know how bad I feel abt it.

    That’s really sad 😦 Any way welcome here Little fingers 🙂 nice name!!

  5. You know a friend unintentionally kept referring to maids as ‘servant’ every time we have a conversation on the topic. And it irked me somehow. Which made me think if even ‘maid’ was a right word to use. I am trying to incorporate the words ‘domestic help’ or just ‘help’ in my lingo but looks like it will take time .
    Also I am looking for a hindi/marathi substitute for ‘bai’. Any suggestions?

    I usually end up calling them ‘maushi’ or ‘tai’ or ‘kaki’ et al..try these..

  6. This is very good thinking and is something everyone shld follow.But many a times, its a compromise between the elders at home, who dont seem to agree to this kind of thinking. I do it, when mil doesnt stay with me….but if she is there, she’ll insist on these things and sometimes older ppl can be so stubborn that I let go.

    yes and compromising on things that you don’t believe in really makes you upset 😦 but that’s why it is called a compromise !!

  7. The custom is followed in all the houses I know, mine, my parent’s or my in-laws no matter how much you try and convince them there is a mental block about it in their minds.
    that’s exactly what I feel bad about,prats!

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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