Recently one of my friends got married who is 31. A month went by before we could actually talk peacefully and talk in detail about everything that happens post marriage 😉
Yes so yesterday was the time when we got chatting with each other. Obviously my first question was ‘how was it?’. Why,you won’t ask your BFF about it..don’t tell me that you won’t!!! Any way so here is the convo that took place between us :
Me: How was it???? tell tell 🙂
She: Umm well…yeah..
Me: what is this umm well??? bol na
She: You tell me..how does it start and how long does one take to start it actually ? I mean you’re experienced…
Me: *scratching my head* Whaatttt??? What are you saying..clearly bol
She: Areh..meaning we’re still knocking the door 😉 samjhi?
Me: *What the hell!!!!* why is that???? :-O
She: I’m scared it will pain a lot !
Me: *Damn* Dear..that’s normal and you haven’t even tried..you’re just assuming,right?
She: Yeah but the moment he is trying to do it I start making faces and then he stops ..he doesn’t want to hurt me!
Me: Well, good that he is taking so much care of you but how long do you think this will last?
She: It’s okay nah..we’re just 15 days married..I’ve heard people take 6-8 months to actually get into the act post marriage..and the minimum is 2 months !!!!
Me: Haaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww !!!!
The guy sure is a gem but the gem might turn into a monster one fine day when he is fed up of this ‘fear’ of hurt and pain ! I don’t say rush things and all that but taking it slowly is one thing and assuming that it hurts and I shall wait till my assumption vanishes is another ! I mean the assumption will only be proved right or wrong if you experience it or else how?
I don’t understand why do people fear sex so much. Also, it’s still not a dining table topic in homes. You getting my point right? By dining table topic I mean where in parents handle this issue with the kids when they prop up questions related to sex. I think sex education is a must in schools AND at homes,at appropriate age, to prevent unwanted sex taking place AND to educate people about it thoroughly so that they don’t end up behaving like my friend with her spouse.
When I told her you can always talk to you partner about your preferences and how do you want it et al..she was like ‘no way’ !! Why I say why !! When you can’t talk to your partner about it then it’s next to impossible that you would even think about educating your kids about the same!
I think this becomes one of the reasons why relationships go from sweet to sour within no time. Cause let’s face it sex is one of the important ingredients of the mix of good relationship-tell me if you disagree! So,why put it on back burner and not tackle the problem,if any,right there ?
And thanks to people who proudly say that it’s okay to not ‘have it going’ until 6-8 months ! Are you kidding? You tell me honestly does this click? Are you okay with this idea of ‘not getting into action’ for so long after marriage just for the sake of assumptions or because some of your friends took this long??
And on top of it all at this age [my friend’s] one is expected to know the basics if not be a Ph.D in the subject..no?
I for one feel that one has to be open about their sex life to their respective partners or else these things never get sorted out. The more you talk the more comfortable you get with the person you’re sharing your body with. And it’s not a taboo..please ! If it wasn’t there you and me would not have come to this world and not writing blogs or adding friends on face book 😛