Recently heard about this seminar taking place in the city which has some motivational speech for parents. The commercial on the radio goes like this “Mrs. Dubey wants her daughter to become doctor! Mr. Gupta wants his daughter to be an Engineer and Mr. Agrawal wishes his children become Arhitects……Has anyone asked what the children want to be? Dah dah dah..”
Thinking about the commercial I started wondering. Now that I’m a parent myself, this will come to me sometime in the future, which is quiet distant right now, but this situation will dawn upon me, so!
In time before ours there was no system of asking children about their choices-blame the unawareness amongst children and parents both or not much options available or both the reasons combined!
When our times came, parents became somewhat educated in ‘career’ field and started giving importance to it. Children were asked what they want to become but eventually most of us ended saying doctor, engineer or a teacher. Nobody in my peers, as far as I remember or know of, ever said [or even became] a swimmer, cricketer, dancer, astronaut etc.
So the norm continued, of choosing the usual, till we are here today at this age. Today there are plethora of options available for children to chose from including the unconventional ones and there are ways to fulfil your dreams and become what you really want to. Along with changing times the parents of yesterday have evolved too. They understand completely about becoming something and liking what you do are two different things, thanks to movies like ‘3 Idiots’.
Very honestly, when I was been asked what I wanted to be when I grow up [which was / is a typical question posed at children by visitors to break the ice [?] or lack of knowing what else to talk to the children that age :)] I was not sure at all, I think so! I mean never really thought what would I become and what would I do for my living!
Today when you talk to children falling in 3-5 years of age bracket about their aims and ambitions, spat comes the reply with a clear mind. You can see there is no tinge of doubt in their eyes or speech!
I recall having this discussion around our child’s future and career with family friends recently and the question came up ‘what if Chipry wants to become an actress tomorrow?’ To which I went silent and started thinking. On way back home me and Husby discussed the same question and at the end we were like we might just guide her to choose the right profession and the topic received a full stop from us.
But thinking deep into it now, why did we conclude it on those lines? What did we mean by ‘right’ profession? Is acting a ‘wrong’ profession? Or is it because none of the family members on both sides have ever opted for this career? Or do we still need to break free from the usual career moulds that we have carried in our heads life long?
I know Ankita Lokhande- The Pavitra Rishta fame on Zee TV, personally. I’ve seen her grow into what she is today- a successful actor of television and I’m sure she’ll go places. Do I adore Ankita? Yes I do! Do I feel good about her success and her career? Yes I do! But she is an actor, so do I think she opted for the ‘wrong’ career? Honestly no!
Apart from her talent and beauty her parents are the important reason behind her success! I’ve seen her mother carry lunch boxes and water bottles for her and stick by her side right form 7 in the morning when her dance practice started. I’ve seen her parents be at her side at every competition, audition, practices, everywhere when she just started to prepare for her career as a model initially! They dedicated their time and energy to her, for her,to support her and encourage her. And I’m sure it played a vital role in her success!
It’s the parents who need to realise the talent and inclination their children have towards. They are the sole source of support and encouragement for children to look up to before taking any plunge. Even a boy of 4 years while getting ready for bungee jumping at a mall looks at his parents for encouragement and cheer and when he gets what he was looking for on his parents’ faces, he performs perfectly! Like wise the girl performing in a school drama searches for her parents in the audience. Even in that dark silenced room she can spot those faces which give her support and tell her that she is doing a good job !
One of my cousins wanted to opt for Commerce in his junior college but my uncle was adamant that he take Science and he made him opt for it. 3 years in a row my cousin failed the subjects but my uncle was still not ready to budge. He made it his ego issue under which he forgot that he was wasting his son’s precious years of education. This remains in our family history fresh till date as an example for other set of parents to learn from! Later my uncle,after lot of deliberation from family members,gave in and let my cousin do what he wanted to. Though it was a bit late for him to study and settle down in a career and moreover he had lost interest too. So he started of with his printing business and he excelled. Later he got married and his wife enrolled him into Commerce grad college and helped him complete his graduation. Life is fair again but then my cousin would never forget those 3 years of his student life which he saw going down drain and the pain that he went through seeing his friends reach places while he was doing nothing,then!
In both the above examples parents have played a vital role in making or breaking a child’s future,what else do I have to say!
So after this question from Deeps, comes the next, can we choose our children’s career?