It was the time of my MBA counselling,I was in Bhopal to get a seat allocated. Since the Husby could not come with me due to some work I went there alone. The task was not very tough,I had 2 specific colleges in my mind and I knew if I’m getting either of the colleges I’m taking the admission or chuck it.
So I was sitting in the hall,at the last bench,cool and calm and waiting for the process to begin. I had all my papers in place in the folder with required number of photo copies and documents which would be needed for submission. Lot of hustle bustle could be noticed in the hall with parents and students pouring in and sitting in groups to discuss the options they could get or should choose from and arranging for photo copies etc.
One girl sitting on the adjacent bench looked at me and gave a smile and I smiled back. Then she asked me a question which startled me. She asked me which college has my son have decided for. I was like ‘what?’ And then I realized why she had said that. I was wearing all the marital symbols right from Sindoor to Mangalsutra to 2-2 Bangles and toe rings,what with I had been married for few days then.
I told her that it was for myself that I was present there,to get an admission into the post graduate course. She gaped and gave me a look which I till date haven’t forgotten or have found a name for ! Any way,the counselling was done and to my pleasure I got a seat in desired college and I took the bus back home in the evening.
The first day of college and I was standing with a girl waiting for other batch mates to come in and the induction process to start up. While waiting,a girl approached us and started the conversation. After the usual ‘hi’ and ‘where are you from’ and ‘which exam did you write to get into this course’ etc she said in a hush hush voice, ‘you know I’ve just come to know there is a married girl in our batch?’ I was like oh yes I know,purposely holding on for that moment! She went on saying ‘how come anyone can study after getting married? What about the in-laws? The responsibilities? And would she be able to complete the course? What if she gets pregnant?’ etc etc! To which I could not resist and told her that it’s me! Oh her reaction? She said ‘oh is it? Han It’s you but you don’t look married? Where is the sindoor? The toe rings? The bangles?’ I told her all this is for occasions. And then she went on praising me for what a bold decision I had taken to study after getting married and how she admires me for the same and I’m so courageous and my in-laws must be gems blah blah!
Even further in the course,after a year that is,some of my female friends told me how they don’t like my idea of studying after getting married whereas I should have been sitting at home and having fun with the husband and making babies. One friend also said that if she had been in my place she would have by now [1 year of marriage] had a baby popped out and the rest of female gang nodded in agreement,sigh!
Things that got stuck with me from this whole thing:
The change of opinion in a second and the narrow mindedness.
Marriage is seen like a boundation,even by educated females themselves.
Lot of females feel,even today,that marriage is for having sex,making babies,going on holidays and cooking and cleaning for the new set of family!
Marriage means adorning self with the marital symbols,like always!
P.S. This is first post in the category 'Looking Back' and now onward such entries will get added to this page.