This post sprouted from R’s Mom post. Though I wrote a longish comment at her post I still have somethings to say about this ‘son craving’…told you how chatter-ish I’m 😉
R’s mom has already written things that most of us agree because we belong to the same league of people who think alike on these lines.
Getting married,having babies and having a particular gender is all a personal choice. First of all everyone needs to get this right in their heads,which ironically people don’t understand and they are constantly at you-if you are into a relationship they want you to get married and if you are married they want you to have babies and if you have a girl child they want you to have a male child!
So, it’s all about a male child,isn’t it? With so many radio and television commercials doing rounds and movements like Beti Bachao Abhiyan our society is still the same,no effect of things happening around.
The basic thing: If no one wants the girl child there will be a day people will [forcibly]become gay and shall not have babies or may be men will start hatching some eggs,huh!
The next thing: Having a male child does not guarantee security in your old age,period,the sooner you get it right the better !
And the next: Having a male child will surely take your family name ahead but are you sure you’ll live that long to see/hear that? And if you live to that moment-what next? Just passing your family name to the next generation is all you want a boy for? Nothing else?
When I was pregnant people used to ask me if I’ve a preference for the gender of the baby and to which I used to say this. Of course that time I was clueless what was God going to send me 🙂 Now today if someone asks me what do I want if we go for a second child then I have a answer to that and yes it is ‘I wish to have a baby boy’. My reason is pretty simple-I just want to experience bringing up both genders just like my parents did. And of course if I deliver a girl again,it’s not going to make me sad or something cause having a male child is a wish and not a demand or a criteria for having another child. It would have been the other way too if the first time I would have had a son.
Coming to my family-my BIL has two daughters and now we have one. By society’s logic we must now have a male child or else our family name doesn’t see the light of the day in the next generation,sigh! But who cares? Especially,the MIL is just not bothered of this fact,so thankfully we’re at peace. But do you think that’s the end of the story at our place? huh! Our relatives are adamant that we must have another child and that should be a male child,of course for the typical reasons! Any way they can go take a hike!
All this is about people like us who have unbiased thinking towards the gender of the baby. Now coming to the people who think otherwise. As I mentioned on RM’s post I think the entire lot of such people are not to be blamed per say. Reasons being, I think there are lot of these who are not biased towards a male child but are made to think/behave on these lines. Societal pressures, Dependency on family, No support form partner and constant pushing from ILs and sometimes even your own family too and more importantly not having a self opinion.
I also think being educated doesn’t make much difference to this thinking and here is an example which I wrote about sometime back.
So it’s not only education but the overall mindset of the society that we dwell in. People might be well educated and self sufficient but a lot of them are still not that strong to go against their families,partners and/or ILs OR their upbringing doesn’t allow them to do so!