Hitting the lows

What happens when you hit your all time lows? You feel drained,worked up,pressurized,lonely,guilty,lazy and victimized.

On some such moments in life,I need a breather.A break from everything-to break free and relax my mind.To think simply nothing just be.To avoid conflicts,confrontations,constant battles in the mind and self cursing. I want to feel the air,to smell the flowers,to gaze at the skies and just do nothing.

Okay,so when I get this break and I do all of that I mentioned above,do I feel alright? Do I like this break? No! I want to go back to my zone,my comfort zone,however bad it is at the moment,I want to go back there. So what if this break means a life saving boon to me…it’s still not mine and it’s temporary! So,why do I want to depend on something which is not going to last forever? Why do I want to take help from something like this which is going to cause me more hurt-cause once this phase is over I’ll feel more depressed to come back to my zone.

So,what’s this hype of taking breaks and pausing for a moment ? Why can’t life simply be in a straight line and offering solution with the problems too? Okay,if that’s too much then at least some hints directing to the solutions? I feel trapped when I’m left with only problems and no way out of it…or is it me? I can’t see the ways out? My brain is not functioning the way it should,sharply?

Phases! Yeah life has so many phases and I’ve heard this like forever. But when does one phase end and the new one starts? What if all the phases are similar in nature ? What does one do?

At the end of this all time low ‘phase’ I guess I’m left with so many question only. Nothing more nothing less,it’s like ending with the same note as one started with! What’s the difference then? How do I say that the phase is over?

There are things that I know are only in my control yet I’m not doing anything regarding them,why? Oh blame this ‘phase’!!! Bullshit! All crappy reasons to just not do anything. Dilemmas surround me at this moment and there are so many things to settle down…so many! And you know what,everything is on me,ha! See the beauty of the thing…there is no other element involved in this whole scenario…I feel like it’s between me and god,huh?

And you know the philosophical statements that people keep throwing at me at such time,it irritates me to no bounds. But the people are not to be blamed,I would have done the same to someone else who was in distress. One typical line which is been given to you is God gives pain to those who he trusts are strong enough to deal with it !!!! Ah,may be he gets the idea of being strong from the plumpness of your being,is it? Whatever!

I know this might not be making any sense to you,but this is exactly what I’m feeling right now. I’m not a person who keeps talking about the pain I’m going through but then I need a vent so here is my vent out! 

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11 thoughts on “Hitting the lows

  1. Hugs Scribby…I know what you are feeling..and I know the need to vent out..vent away here…

    and yes I think we all go through these phases..I have phases of extreme ‘lows’ to extreme ‘highs’ but over the years, I have learnt that when I am low…I am low..thats all..nothing anyone says or does makes a difference..and eventually I do come out of the phase myself!

    *May be I am not making sense here*

  2. I hit such lows during the 1st year of maternity too (not sure if yours is related to maternity, but the maternity hormones can aggravate the lows). But yeah, it passes 🙂
    Take care.

  3. and good you vented it out .. better out then in …

    You take care Scribby and SMILE i know hard but do it 🙂

    people well their job is to say stuff which they wont say it to themselves .. 🙂

  4. I can understand it…and your post did make sense dear….
    A BIG HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Be with it…..this is a passing cloud…will go away…I said na write it on a piece of paper…and just tear that off…remove the anger….the frustration….vent it out…..

    Take care dear…and we are there here..:)
    Gayu

  5. HUGS! I hope things get sorted out soon and you will be all back to normal too… Take Care…

    And yeah – there are such phases when you cant even blame anyone else for the situation!

  6. Take a little break S. Do not think your feeling low is an excuse to not do anything and do not listen to irritating things people say. Hugs and do take care of yourself. 🙂

  7. There are only words we can say to ease others pain even though if they have heard it lots of times…but in the end one has bear and pass through the difficult phases alone only…may God give you the strength.

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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