I’m writing this letter a little late, no excuses just didn’t get peaceful time to pen down things,hence. Any way, couple of months back you turned one and thus our journey of growing up together crossed an year’s mark. 365 days of we being together, you being my daughter and me being your mother. You’ve no idea what does that mean to me…a mother of a cute little munchkin is something inexpressible, or at least your mamma doesn’t know how to.
You know Chirpy, you’ve taught me so much already. Being a mother is not something that is taught to us women in advance. No book, no Internet site or no Aunt can teach a women ‘how to be a mother’ neither there is any particular formula to be one. It comes to a woman naturally with the child coming in.
With you coming in my life I’ve learnt to be a different human being-more relaxed, sensible, composed, giving and especially letting go types. Not that these changes were what I always wanted in me and couldn’t make them, but these changes happening to me has made me look at myself with a different perspective. I know I’ve changed and I owe it to you cause I’m happy with this new me 🙂
Okay before we move ahead, I’ve to honestly admit here that initial couple of months when you were handed over to me after the ‘delivery’, I was dumbfounded and confused and irritated. For a number of times I didn’t know what to do with you. I didn’t feel connected to you in the real sense-like you know the mother-daughter sense. I mean of course I cared for you and loved you and I cried at the drop of the hat if you went through some trouble but then the ‘connection’ was not there. I felt terrible for that. I felt guilty. I wanted that phase to go away. But it was there, stayed with me and stressed me. Your daddy was a handy support and he did help me to come out of the guilt, wipe away the fog of confusion and helped me gel well with you.
And when today I look at you I know I’m deeply connected to you. I don’t know if you will understand all this or no. May be not, may be you’ll understand it when you become a mother, or may be you’ll never understand this-it’s okay if you don’t but never forget that I’m just being plain honest with you and it happens in life. I never for a moment disliked you or something!
Okay let’s move on to some funny things now 🙂 Past 2 weeks have been funnily tiring for me,you ask why? Oh, just because my little princess has decided to take up her walking expeditions so seriously that she doesn’t stop when she is awake!! Baby, you roam around the house so much so that now I’ve hopes that I might be able to loose , at least some,kilos of that unwanted fat 🙂
You can speak your daddy’s name now and more often you call him by that only 😉 Hmmm!!! And for mamma? Oh dear, you are being so biased towards Daddy that you’ve kind of completely ignored mamma 😦 sob sob! Now would you please turn your attention towards mamma too,please?
As I’ve already mentioned, you love dancing. I mean you can dance at any music which is playing in the vicinity-slow,hip-hop,instrumental,sad songs anything! You’ve that thing for dancing and once more I take pride in saying that ‘Beti bilkul Maa par gayi hai’ 😉 Hehehe.. your daddy and I keep a score of whom are you taking after majorly, and right now mamma is winning, YAY 🙂
Overall, I think we are doing good and the coming year too looks okay to me ,as of now, cause there are lot of mamma’s friends who keep scaring her of children showing signs of ‘terrible twos’ way before the time and all that stuff. But I’m gearing up and making myself ready for that too, oh I mean I’m ‘trying’ to but you know Chirpy there is nothing called ‘being prepared’ in this parenting business,yeah I’m telling you!
You know last week I skimmed through lot of your old clothes to be given away to the needy as well as to your cousin who is on the way in few months 🙂 Although I’m glad your clothes would be of great use to the new babies, part of my heart broke into tiny pieces 😦 Oye what? Don’t call me senti like your daddy does,okay? I’m a MOM and I’m allowed to be like that,period! You don’t know that I can feel you in those clothes,even today! You have no idea what I feel when I hold your red and white dolphins romper close to my cheeks…..wait, let’s not talk about this anymore,sob!
Chirpy, you are one and we had so much fun. Oh how can I forget to mention that the party went well and throughout the party you were all the while smiling and playful. Also, you literally asked people to hand over the colorful packed boxes,they were carrying,to you the moment you saw them entering the hall.How shameless 😉 Thankfully you didn’t cry on being passed from person to person numerous times. Our good luck that you yourself enjoyed the party so well that we attended the guests properly, in fact most of the times when someone asked where would you be right now I had to really look around for you and then direct people saying there she is with so and so….one thing is for sure-you enjoy being pampered, you enjoy being gifted and you enjoy being with people! Another trait taken from me 😉 Daddy are you counting? 😛
Babes, there are so many things that are waiting for us. So much to do in life together. I’m waiting for ‘that’ time of future with skipping a beat in between while looking back at you as a baby…..stop giving me that ‘offo’ look cause I’m a mother and I will always want you to grow up as well as stay a baby 😀
With all my love,