Judgmental strings….

…attached to parenting is something no parent can escape from. People from all quadrants don’t leave a chance to rant and taunt on your decisions and deeds,specially when you become a parent. I’ve accepted this fact umpteen times in last one year,thinking that yes there are people and then there are people and I can’t change anything of them!

But when people walk that extra mile toward you,to nudge you and poke you,I kind of loose it!

Like I said I’ve started putting Chirpy to sleep alone and that too by not singing her any lori or something. Just plain and simple lie in your bed, lights off and off to sleep !

I might be an evil mom for some,for putting Chirpy in a routine at this ‘early’ age. But this is what I’m and that’s how I want my girl to grow up!

Also, I don’t mind listening to your views on ‘how tos’ and ‘what nots’ of parenting but if you are going to,time and again,forget that I’m not obliged to follow you then we have a problem.

Moreover,I have never commented on your ways of parenting,in spite knowing how you are bringing up your daughter who is 7 now…

I want to tell you this for one last time :

I don’t want my daughter to watch television and anything and everything being relayed on it, at this age!

I don’t want my daughter to roam around the house and terrace and garden while eating her meals. I want her to sit at one place and finish it off.

I want my daughter to sleep early and rise early so that she doesn’t have to face problems while going to school AND she doesn’t get habitual to late sleeping and eventually bunking school…

I don’t want my daughter to misbehave with anyone,young and old all alike. She has to be polite and gentle with people!

I don’t want my daughter to be exceptionally scholar or so but I would want her to do well in her studies and study for sure no matter what career she chooses when she grows up,for me she being educated is a must!

I don’t want my daughter to disrespect books at any cost. She might not love them but she can’t hate them either. Things like throwing away books, kicking them or even tearing pages,not in my house,never!

I don’t want my daughter to make faces looking at what people have in their plates. She might not want to eat that but she must not disrespect anyone’s food!

I don’t want my daughter to answer back to elders!

Some conversations your younger daughter [YD] had,which refuse to stop doing rounds in my head,that I heard from you and others that I witnessed myself:

Maid to You: Please give me a raise na, It’s been a long time now.

Your YD to maid before you could answer: You keep saying this is your home but you don’t work properly, is this how you keep your house dirty and then if this is your house then why do you ask money from my mother?


You to YD: Go finish your homework fast or else teacher will scold you tomorrow.

YD to you: I don’t feel like, teacher jaye bhaad mein!


YD’s granny to her: You know I’m coming to your place tonight [beamingly]

YD to granny: Toh main kya karu, band baja bajau kya!


Me to YD: What will you become when you grow up? 

YD: not thought yet!

Me: okay but whatever you want to you must study first ! Education is very important !

YD: Jab main badi ho jaoongi to shaadi karoongi aur mera pati kamayega and main aram karoongi,tv dekhoongi!


This judging is never going to end. See in a way I’m also judging the lady who is the reason behind this post,sigh! Only difference,me thinks is, I don’t push my views on her!

Exchanging views is not a bad idea but pushing your views is certainly a bad one!

24 thoughts on “Judgmental strings….

  1. Ah! now this is a topic I can write so much about…

    I hate when people get judgmental especially when its about parenting…I loved everything you wrote about teaching Chirpy…I so want R to learn the same things…which is getting difficult honestly…but then again, this is not the right place to discuss 🙂

    Big hugs to you Scribby and dont get dissuaded by the judgemental people..you are doing the RIGHT thing..

    and that kid’s behaviour. Honestly its really bad :(… but I dont blame her..I blame the parents 😦 *There I get judgemental myself!*

  2. People!! Agree with every word you say here. And I love the way you are bringing up Chirpy. All the things you mentioned really, rsally help when they grow older.

    As for that woman, she clearly has no sense:( If only didn’t try to impose her ideas on you!

  3. Absolutely, Nu. These fleeting judgments by all and sundry will happen no matter how hard you try to make them understand your stance, no matter how much you make it obvious to them that you do not encourage their constant interference and unsolicited advices.. I can understand it can get quite bothersome, but you know what you’re doing is what is best for your child, so just keep doing that, Nu and dont let such buggers affect you in any way!


  4. Hmmmmm some body is very angry and rightly so.

    Indians have a habit of poking nose in others affairs and don’t even bother to set their house in order!!!


  5. Some one really pissed you off 🙂 Leave it yaar. It’s never going to end. Just ignore although it is hard sometimes. And I guess it’s ok to retort back sometimes just to make clear that you don’t like being commented on parenting skills 🙂

  6. Eeeeksss…Scribby…I just cannot resist myself from commenting on this post

    Less is said about the ‘bringing up’ of this girl is good…I really pity that kid…she just don’t know what to say and what not because it seems that her parents & other elders never bothered to correct her or drill the right values in her……

    Some people even frown how I never force feed my kid & and why I roll my eyes at her when she is doing something repeatedly which is a “No-No’ for her…they say it is too early to discipline her…but i feel that we cannot suddenly get up some day & start the discipline regime…it has to be started from beginning.. 🙂

  7. I couldn’t agree more to what you are saying Nu. People like this have no business commenting, but I guess it is somehow the fact that they did a rotten job of bringing up their kid, that they want to sound like the ‘good’ parents. Bullshit you’re good, if outsiders make note of how obnoxious the kid is. Being rude and ill mannered is not cute, period.

    That being said, I hope you did (in a subtler way probably) tell the person this on her face. I had an incident recently, wherein a very closer relative kept repeating how Zo will ruin our house because that’s what kids too, and if we restrict her it is unfair, because this is her house! Further, she made Zo pull at a vase, and what not, till it fell! I actually commented that if Zo chooses to be ill mannered tomorrow, we’ll decide how to fix that, but there is no point teaching her bad manners. They also made a not so subtle hint on how ruthless we are to make her sleep in a crib! I had no comments really.

    I know I am repeating myself, but if anyone comments negatively on ANY of the things you listed above, well, it is just a case of serious sour grapes!

  8. //YD: Jab main badi ho jaoongi to shaadi karoongi aur mera pati kamayega and main aram karoongi,tv dekhoongi!// lol

    yes, certainly i too have a list of do’s and donts for my daughter and i dont like ppl going on advising me how to bring up my daughter.

    this reminded me of the gripe water/junior horlick advt, where she says,” main be advice dey rahi hoon etc etc”…

  9. Helloooooooooooo Scribby,
    Finally I am able to post comment from my mobile:) I was unable to access the comment form for wordpress blogs. I have a super e-smart phone na:P

    Didn’t visit this space since ages.
    How are you and how is Chirpy??

    A perfect post for all those who try to poke their noses on how we try to bring up our children. As you rightly said, sharing is good, at times we can learn from each others experiences, but forcing your views is a strict NO NO..!!!

    And as it whatever you (good or bad) people will have something to say.
    Take care
    PS:have so much to read..m busy today:)

  10. OH ho.. scribby
    duniya main paglon ki kami nahin
    ek doondho hazaar milte hain
    door dhoondo nazdeek hi mil jaate hain..

    why worry what other say, they will always have something to say good or bad .. you do what you think is best for the little one 🙂

    we have this panchent or whatever its called to judge everyone other than us 🙂


  11. hmm… Just wondering does the mother appreciate these behavior of YD? I am always scared about this.. Like me trying to regulate my kid and the social/other sources diverting her thoughts that might in turn make her not to oblige to the values I try hard to teach her.. you understand what I am saying? As a mother we would have umpteen thoughts for our kid but how many of it the kid will actually take in is a question na?
    Like another classic example, I don’t want Adi to watch television at least not beyond the allocated hours but its getting very difficult to control her at times when I blame myself as I lack as a mother 😦

  12. eh?! A small kid said that?! sigh..
    and how can a kid be so rude?! I see them here too and I wonder – how are they going to face anything in life? Growing up so pampered and rude… even though their parents might have chalked out a plan, it never goes according to plan and everyone must know how to take care of themselves and how to get along with people!

    You are a fab mom and you are doing a fab job with Chirpy! hugs! 🙂

  13. I am a firm firm believer of absolutely NO TV while eating and the boys know very well that the plates will be yanked away from them if they do so. I always think the food is something that should be relished and respected, and eating time is usually family time at the table. I don’t remember even once showing TV or taking Sammy around the home to feed him as a baby and believe me Nu, I am the one who is reaping that benefit now….you put a plate of food in front of him, he will wipe it clean and then go about his other work 🙂

    😆 everyone I know has mocked us when we started making the boy sleep alone before he was 1. They said things like “I can’t even thinking of not having my baby far away from me even for a minute, we as parents were heartless…etc etc…” Nu Khuda gawah hai….that is one way you can bring some romance into your lives once you are busy running after a little one 😉 And the kids easily fall into a routine of sleeping on time and getting up on time too.

    err a little girl gets to say all that? really? 😯

    Ps: see my DIL and your SIL are bikul same to same 😛

    1. I’m feeling so much better to read all this Saks 🙂 and loved the P.S. of your comment 😉 how cool is that! Hugs

      oh and that little girl? Don’t even ask me Saks..I can’t write 100 pages of how she ill talks with everyone!

  14. These kind of rude unruly kids are everywhere these days. Its hard to find a well behaved kid who has manners. I’m sure Chirpy will grow up to be a fine young girl. Only you’ll have to try harder to nullify the outside bad effects on her, once she starts school.

  15. There are some people who will always judge you no matter what. The trick is in not letting them affect you. And, kudos to you girl for making Chirpy adjust to sleeping alone. Don’t care what anyone says. You are doing good — from one mom to another :).

  16. I can’t help but say that you are right in getting angry. Because people always have a habit of nudging and poking all at the wrong places. And they will keep on doing that. The more open matter is parenting becasue everyone seems to think that they are the scholars. Don’t let these people get to your head and heart..

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s