From the post ‘Judgmental Strings’…

This post is an afterthought of the comments received on the post Judgmental  Strings‘ .

So many comments and all in agreement. So,one thing is clear that to each his own and one should not interefere in any personal matters of any family/couple. But ironically our society has an annoying habit of deciding for other when should one marry,should have children,should resume work or no,how to bring up children and the stuff.

As my post says suggesting something is way to different from dictating something.

Like Deeps said:

These fleeting judgments by all and sundry will happen no matter how hard you try to make them understand your stance, no matter how much you make it obvious to them that you do not encourage their constant interference and unsolicited advices..

This is sad that I’ve to agree to Deeps’s comment. Why can’t people just live and let go?

But any way getting deeper we all know that it’s not a simple task that you taught good things to your child and your work done…

Like what Ani said on the post:

I am always scared about this.. Like me trying to regulate my kid and the social/other sources diverting her thoughts that might in turn make her not to oblige to the values I try hard to teach her.. you understand what I am saying? As a mother we would have umpteen thoughts for our kid but how many of it the kid will actually take in is a question na?

Which is so true. Today,while putting chirpy into some routine and habits I too think of future when she might have her own opinions and might not agree with what all I have to teacher. When she starts school she might be more inclined to follow her peers than me.

But in the fear of tomorrow shall we stop teaching right form wrong to our kids today? My job is to teach her good things which I must keep doing.

Wanderer said:

Only you’ll have to try harder to nullify the outside bad effects on her, once she starts school.

I totally agree…I’ve to keep trying my best to teach my daughter whatever I think is right. Whether she takes it up and follows it or not,is her choice and my luck!

All those people who keep telling me, along with the lady I mentioned in the post, that this is not the right age to train kids. She is too young to even understand. I say this is the age because right now she is totally under our control…no peers,no exposure to outside world.

Like NBose says on the same lines:

but i feel that we cannot suddenly get up some day & start the discipline regime…it has to be started from beginning..

DI gave a classic example of how people interfere:

I had an incident recently, wherein a very closer relative kept repeating how Zo will ruin our house because that’s what kids too, and if we restrict her it is unfair, because this is her house! Further, she made Zo pull at a vase, and what not, till it fell! 

How irritating some people can get,no? I also wholly agree with what DI said further:

Zo chooses to be ill mannered tomorrow, we’ll decide how to fix that, but there is no point teaching her bad manners.

And something that all mothers would agree whole heatedly was said by Anonymously Disguised:

I am a firm firm believer of absolutely NO TV while eating and the boys know very well that the plates will be yanked away from them if they do so. I always think the food is something that should be relished and respected, and eating time is usually family time at the table. I don’t remember even once showing TV or taking Sammy around the home to feed him as a baby and believe me Nu, I am the one who is reaping that benefit now….you put a plate of food in front of him, he will wipe it clean and then go about his other work :smile:

All I have to say is I’m glad we are like minded people around! Thank god at least this space is such 🙂

For others,I still don’t say what all I’m instilling in Chirpy is the best but it is surely the best by my standards. I might appear like a cruel mother or a not-so-motherly types to some but my daughter has settled down with the fact that her mother is like this,period,too bad,mothers can’t be exchanged 😉

Parenting is a grilling task for parents. It’s not easy for a even a minute. All the parents in the world strive hard to give the best values and thoughts to their children. We must respect that rather commenting negatively. Everyone usually tries the same methodology and pass pretty much same values that come from their parents. So if you are trying to insult my parenting style may be you are insulting my parents,think for a moment.

Being judgmental is very easy. But looking inside is something we humans usually procrastinate !

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18 thoughts on “From the post ‘Judgmental Strings’…

  1. I think marriage is a topic which will invite a lot of venom from likemindeds for all that they’ve suffered during their so called proper-age-to-get-married. What is wrong if someone really doesn’t feel like getting married right then? How does everything become fine after marriage? How is one supposed to spend a whole life with a stranger? Marriage never was and is not a simple thing for the two getting married. Earlier people were too chicken to speak out. Now they do. And that makes them audacious? Who are you kidding? It’s their life.

  2. 🙂 I think instead of just being nice and hearing such comments some effort should be made to show displeasure. If I don’t do that I just keep fuming internally ! Might as well take it out on the person who deserves it 😀

  3. “Parenting is a grilling task for parents. It’s not easy for a even a minute. ” & “Being judgmental is very easy” How I agree to this. Everybody seems to have some advice to give and judge your way of parenting. But ultimately only the parents know what is best for their children. I have learnt to ignore unwanted advice and comments. To each his own. That is the only way to remain sane 🙂

  4. I think training starts right from day one and we all do it. What we need to understand is that everyone has its own way and we need to respect that. Thankfully there are people who acknowledge that.

  5. Along with these thoughts, I would like to add my perspective.

    People in our society keep judging others – how the others think, how they live, what they buy, etc.. I think this stems from the fact that it is plain ‘You have this – I too should have this’, ‘you do this – I too should do this’ mentality.

    Also, poking into others homes and lives is their favourite job. Why? Because they are never satisfied with their own selves. They are not content and happy in their own lives – hence they come and judge you – “you are not doing this correctly”, “Is this the way to teach your kid”, etc..

  6. Being a parent is the toughest job, because whatever you do it will always be less, to everyone.. and all have their own view.

    I think a parent knows their child better then anyone, the best a parent can do is tell right from wrong ans that tool a lot many times.

    Everyone has a lot to say about other kids rather their own, they wil always have a piece of advice for you on how to bring up your child .
    You know best scribby… And each child is individual you can’t have same rules etc for all..
    You I am sure are doing a brilliant job..

  7. Hi Scribby! I have found my way here now 🙂
    Read your other post ‘judgemental strings’ too and yes, we are all judgemental about others one time or the other, but as long as we keep our judgements to ourselves and don’t pass the verdict, I think it is fine..

    ‘When she starts school she might be more inclined to follow her peers than me.’- Trust me that’s so very true. You will have to work much more harder to instill your values to Chirpy at that time, so take it easy now 🙂 Chirpy is such a cute name!

  8. The best parenting techniques are the ones that work for you, your family and the baby, leaving you sane and baby happy and secure. That’s the bottomline. every person differs in considering whats right and whats wrong..that too in varying degrees and levels..depending on one’s upbringing, background, parenting etc etc…so one can never be absolutely sure that what one believes to be good actually is..one can just hope everything works out well.
    Advice is like chaff and grain..one needs to sort out the good ones and the ones that work for you.

    1. The best parenting techniques are the ones that work for you, your family and the baby, leaving you sane and baby happy and secure. That’s the bottomline. I can’t tell you how much I agree with you on this!

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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