When I was younger my parents used to,lot of times,drop me at my nani’s place for couple of hours or sometimes for night out too. I enjoyed my stay with nani no doubts. She has been one person who is the best fav to me in my life,till date!
There were people around us who sometimes threw stares and comments at my parents,especially my mom, on hearing that she left me with my nani when I was so young.
I’ve grown up listening to such things coming from my other side of the family too, well yes,father’s side to be precise. Never felt any need to ask my parents why did they leave me back and went about doing their chores. Never felt the need actually. Because I thoroughly enjoyed my stay with nani and family and all the attention I got there, of course 😀
Cut to present
I’ve mentioned in lot of parenting posts,that I keep writing these day [yeah this is almost turning into a ‘only’ mommy blog now ;)] that lot of things that you try to inculcate in your children traces back to how you were brought up. So, my thoughts remained the same,like my parents’, regarding making a child independent.
Independence,in my opinion,is defined in terms of how a child is capable of taking his / her own basic decisions, is on his/her own to do basic things and is fearless of stating his or her mind. For me, independence also means that a child can manage pretty much well without being around his or her parents.
I thought of trying to let Chirpy loose without us being around for a while,now that she is 1.5 years young and walks. Also,she can tell a lot of basic things,though she is not thoroughly talking yet.
So the plan was set. The weekend that went by we left Chirpy at my nani’s place. There Chirpy has her massi,mama, maternal grand uncle and aunt. So a houseful of people who run after this little lady and pamper her to no limits. Chirpy,since the day she was born,has been surrounded by them all along so she knows them well.
On Saturday afternoon,Husby and me left her there with her little travel suitcase and we came back home. We decided that we have a lot of time on hands and we must utilize it by doing long pending things on the to-do list.
So we went for some serious shopping-books and clothes majorly. We came back & had a light early dinner and decided on our individual activities, please to note that we were not wanting to loose any moment of our ‘free’ time-Husby chose TV and I chose reading. And we did that to the core…I read Last man in tower till the end in that one night! Husby watched television to his heart’s content and then did his work.
Sunday morning we lazed around a lot. No hurries to get up for making breakfast, no hurries to cook..no hurries for anything at all. We again ate whatever we felt like and slept a little and then watched a movie or two-straight in one sitting unlike the play-pause mode that we usually adopt when Chirpy is around 😀
We felt like free birds-not bounded by routine or may I say a little munchkin? 🙂 No changing diapers, no washing bummies, no putting her to sleep or feed her or play with her or give in to her demands.
Also,I had decided to self that I will not call at my nani’s place to check how she is doing. And the fact that there was no call from them, it seemed that Chirpy was not having any trouble [basically not giving any trouble ;)]. This was just to put a self control check on my own.I did pass the test.
While we discussed that our time is going on smoothly and that we felt so light,we also thought we must take such breaks once in 2 months or so..but while we were are it,the deepest part of our hearts admitted we were missing something- well,someone!
Yes we did miss Chirpy. Gradually we started talking of her-like if she were around what would she be doing right now…she would pull her toy basket and spread all the toys around,she would have smiled at us with that nose-gathered-and-eyes-blinking style that she gives us when she is doing some mischief…we imagined she demanding us to read us books and play with her.
Finally, by the end of Sunday, we felt like kids who were missing their mothers. Trust me, we felt that we must go and see Chirpy right at that moment. We hurriedly got ready and reached my nani’s place to see that she is so busy in playing with her massi and mama, that she just gave a quick glance at us when we called out her name and resumed her playing,huh!
I felt proud of her. I felt good about the fact that she is on her own. She can live without me for sometime and that she will not grow up into a chipkoo who will not leave her mother even for a little while. I felt good that someday she herself would say that I did a good job in sowing that first seed of independence in her…
But the fact remains…at the end of it all I felt miserable! Sigh…I felt a little cornered,yeah exactly that. I was expecting Chirpy to come running to me when I called out her name and that she sticks to me the rest of the evening because she might have missed me! But nothing of that sort happened..in fact all I could realize was I missed her very much! I could not sleep and hence took rescue in the book. I could not concentrate on anything hence no cooking religiously and just eating tid-bits in the name of freedom and doing nothing!
So what am I talking here? Well, simply stating that I’m a mother and I feel confused with my own experiments. That multiple emotions flow in me at the same time. I can feel proud as well as sad together for one thing! Such is motherhood my friend!
Now I know how my mother felt when she left me back. On top of it she listened to unwanted comments on she being stone-hearted. But she knew that she wanted to make me what I’m today and hence she needed to start early with the lessons and I’m grateful to my parents for this!
So, I’ve to be strong if I desire to make Chirpy stronger 🙂