My experiment-Chirpy’s night out

When I was younger my parents used to,lot of times,drop me at my nani’s place for couple of hours or sometimes for night out too. I enjoyed my stay with nani no doubts. She has been one person who is the best fav to me in my life,till date!

There were people around us who sometimes threw stares and comments at my parents,especially my mom, on hearing that she left me with my nani when I was so young.

I’ve grown up listening to such things coming from my other side of the family too, well yes,father’s side to be precise. Never felt any need to ask my parents why did they leave me back and went about doing their chores. Never felt the need actually. Because I thoroughly enjoyed my stay with nani and family and all the attention I got there, of course 😀

Cut to present

I’ve mentioned in lot of parenting posts,that I keep writing these day [yeah this is almost turning into a ‘only’ mommy blog now ;)] that lot of things that you try to inculcate in your children traces back to how you were brought up. So, my thoughts remained the same,like my parents’, regarding making a child independent.

Independence,in my opinion,is defined in terms of how a child is capable of taking his / her own basic decisions, is on his/her own to do basic things and is fearless of stating his or her mind. For me, independence also means that a child can manage pretty much well without being around his or her parents.

I thought of trying to let Chirpy loose without us being around for a while,now that she is 1.5 years young and walks. Also,she can tell a lot of basic things,though she is not thoroughly talking yet.

So the plan was set. The weekend that went by we left Chirpy at my nani’s place. There Chirpy has her massi,mama, maternal grand uncle and aunt. So a houseful of people who run after this little lady and pamper her to no limits. Chirpy,since the day she was born,has been surrounded by them all along so she knows them well.

On Saturday afternoon,Husby and me left her there with her little travel suitcase and we came back home. We decided that we have a lot of time on hands and we must utilize it by doing long pending things on the to-do list.

So we went for some serious shopping-books and clothes majorly. We came back & had a light early dinner and decided on our individual activities, please to note that we were not wanting to loose any moment of our ‘free’ time-Husby chose TV and I chose reading. And we did that to the core…I read Last man in tower till the end in that one night! Husby watched television to his heart’s content and then did his work.

Sunday morning we lazed around a lot. No hurries to get up for making breakfast, no hurries to cook..no hurries for anything at all. We again ate whatever we felt like and slept a little and then watched a movie or two-straight  in one sitting unlike the play-pause mode that we usually adopt when Chirpy is around 😀

We felt like free birds-not bounded by routine or may I say a little munchkin? 🙂   No changing diapers, no washing bummies, no putting her to sleep or feed her or play with her or give in to her demands.

Also,I had decided to self that I will not call at my nani’s place to check how she is doing. And the fact that there was no call from them, it seemed that Chirpy was not having any trouble [basically not giving any trouble ;)]. This was just to put a self control check on my own.I did pass the test.

While we discussed that our time is going on smoothly and that we felt so light,we also  thought we must take such breaks once in 2 months or so..but while we were are it,the deepest part of our hearts admitted we were missing something- well,someone!

Yes we did miss Chirpy. Gradually we started talking of her-like if she were around what would she be doing right now…she would pull her toy basket and spread all the toys around,she would have smiled at us with that nose-gathered-and-eyes-blinking style that she gives us when she is doing some mischief…we imagined she demanding us to read us books and play with her.

Finally, by the end of Sunday, we felt like kids who were missing their mothers. Trust me, we felt that we must go and see Chirpy right at that moment. We hurriedly got ready and reached my nani’s place to see that she is so busy in playing with her massi and mama, that she just gave a quick glance at us when we called out her name and resumed her playing,huh!

I felt proud of her. I felt good about the fact that she is on her own. She can live without me for sometime and that she will not grow up into a chipkoo who will not leave her mother even for a little while. I felt good that someday she herself would say that I did a good job in sowing that first seed of independence in her…

But the fact remains…at the end of it all I felt miserable! Sigh…I felt a little cornered,yeah exactly that. I was expecting Chirpy to come running to me when I called out her name and that she sticks to me the rest of the evening because she might have missed me! But nothing of that sort happened..in fact all I could realize was I missed her very much! I could not sleep and hence took rescue in the book. I could not concentrate on anything hence no cooking religiously and just eating tid-bits in the name of freedom and doing nothing!

So what am I talking here? Well, simply stating that I’m a mother and I feel confused with my own experiments. That multiple emotions flow in me at the same time. I can feel proud as well as sad together for one thing! Such is motherhood my friend!

Now I know how my mother felt when she left me back. On top of it she listened to unwanted comments on she being stone-hearted. But she knew that she wanted to make me what I’m today and hence she needed to start early with the lessons and I’m grateful to my parents for this!

So, I’ve to be strong if I desire to make Chirpy stronger 🙂

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18 thoughts on “My experiment-Chirpy’s night out

  1. Oh..how nice that you have your parents near-by to let Chirpy experience her independence without having to worry about her! My niece stays away from her parents at our parents’ place and she loves it 🙂
    We need to practice letting go very early on. Apparently, it is the parents that suffer more from separation anxiety than the children 🙂

  2. I salute you. I would have been scared to even try this. But yes he is already staying with his Grand parent for the whole day but I am yet to leave him for a full night.

    And the fact that it is us who miss the kid is so true. They once get involved in games forget everything around them.

  3. Great!!! Chirpy had her 1st night out and you guys had your pre-baby freedom back for 2 days!!!
    When i was in Ahmedabad, i used leave Zini with my parents or my maasi…But now in Noida, there is nobody with whom she can have a day or night out 😦
    Hey Scribby, i can so relate to this line “I can feel proud as well as sad together for one thing”……

  4. lucky u, u have so many people staying near u to take care of u and cripy incase of emergency. u have donw a very good thing.. that is what i say.. i also feel the same way, when i get back from office, expect bunty to come to me running, but she just gives me a smile and is busy playing with my neighbors. at times, in night she just goes and sleeps next to my MIL instead of searching for me.. but it is nice, that she has adapted to me not being next to her..

    yes, u need a break once in while, i know it will nvr be a true break though.. 😛

  5. As Smita said.. I must salute you.. I not a mother yet.. but can understand how it feels!! and hats off to your thoughts of sowing independence in Chirpy early on in life… it then comes naturally… Believe me.. I am still a mommy chipko myself… and sometimes it brings a pain both to my mom n me.. we have been together for like 21 years.. and all of a sudden.. when I had to come away from her (and my family) i felt miserable..

  6. You did a good thing. Kids should grow with people around them and know how to behave with others. If they don’t leave parents then they won’t learn this. I’ve seen examples of this kind.
    I’m so proud of you as a mother, that you could do this, leave your kid out for a whole weekend. I’m not too sure I’ll be able to do that, when I have a kid that is. But this is a lesson for people like me 🙂
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. Kudos to you Scribby :-D…Till now I have left Mishti with my parents and that too for an evening or so usually for attending some party or dinner and felt similar emotions like yours 😦 …Even I know I have to be more strong to let Mishti have a night out …. but somehow I just chicken out at the last moment. ..Flavours of motherhood 😀

    Loved the last line 🙂

  8. The good thing is you gathered the courage to do it so early and then you have a support system for that. You are very right in your approach because earlier we start making them independent, earlier they start being self sufficient.

    Yes, the break is much needed. However confused it may leave you, it is a good thing to do 🙂

    1. Yes I feel blessed that I’ve a support system-at home [MIL] and outside [my grandmother] too 🙂 We indeed felt that such breaks should be taken once in a while…let’s see when do we take the next one 😀

  9. Whenever I have traveled for work leaving Cheebu behind (with her dad mostly and sometimes with grand parents), it has always been me who has missed her terribly. Sample this, last time I was away, I called her and was talking to her phone. She talked for sometime and then says “Mumma, kitni der baat karoge. Main papa ko bulaati hoon na” and handed the phone to hubby 😦 But when I came back she was so happy and stuck to me for a couple of days.
    I feel children adjust more easily to situations… we parents find it more difficult 🙂
    I would say it was more of “first night without Chirpy” for you guys than for her 🙂

  10. A good thing to do. Gives both the parents and the kids a desired break. Totally get what you mean by not being missed. I rush home from office everyday and esp on days when I am held up feeling hugely guilty. And they just look at me and just resume their play. Huh!

    1. yes the break is indeed very refreshing though this time I felt a little sad towards the end of it 🙂 but I’ll strive to grow stronger 🙂

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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