Friendships,hmm! The word by the go is so confusing,no? I mean especially for people like me who are very emotional [fools!]
You become friends with someone, you put all your heart and soul in the friendship, you love the person to the core, you do anything within your limits to keep that person happy and then suddenly one fine day you wake up to only see that the person not only is gone away but stabbed you in your heart….
You make online friends-blogging to be precise, you invest your love in them, you’ve not met them personally but you have exchanged all your information and you’ve spoken to each other and you tag them as your ‘friends’ after knowing them ‘really well’ and then one fine day they stop visiting your blog and stop being in touch on FB and when you ask ‘why’ they say ‘a little busy’ but you notice that they are all over the blog land but your blog. You feel hurt and left with no answers to so many ‘whys’ dancing in your head!!!
No don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking of the comments on the blog. I’m talking of people being honest / cheating on you. Picture this: You ask your old blog friend,who was by the way very regular on your blog until recently,that why have you stopped commenting/visiting my blog to which your friend replies that she is extremely busy these days and not blog hopping much. Whereas you see her on every other blog and every day! Won’t you feel you were lied to? Won’t you feel hurt?
It’s not compulsory to comment but IMO it’s really necessary to be honest in friendship,for that matter any relationship. You might not like what I write but then we are friends so this means it’s more than being blog buddies,right? We now exist in each others’ real life and that is a different relationship altogether…so it’s not just blogs…it’s friendship that’s going haywire and that hurts me by tonnes.
What irks me too is that people by just not saying anything decide to get up and leave. I mean leave a word even if that means a ‘good bye’. At least be courteous for the good times that we spent together,right? Is it asking for too much?
Just when do you really ‘know’ that this is your friend? How do you test the other person? Even after so many years on this earth and countless grey hair,I’m still a novice 😦
I cringe on loosing friends.My fault is I instantly trust people and give all my love to them. I need to learn a lot about friendships,I guess. People come and go and sometimes also take advantage of your goodness,I’ve to stop that!
Every phase of my life has seen a friend or two cheating on me and mostly using me for her own good. And the funny part is every single time I fall pray to such people around…ain’t I so brilliant? Huh!
And the worst part is because of handful of such people I tend to suspect the other genuine friends-from virtual and real world,both. I get scared to get close to anyone and open my heart up. I feel insecure in everyone’s company in general then. Basically, I get confused and feel like not having any friends at all !
I need to strengthen my heart and service my brain.
I need to stop being emotional about everyone.
I need to give some time to other person to prove his/her goodness.
I need to stop loving so much.
I need to prioritize.
I need to stop making best friends in every circle/phase of my life.
I need to understand other’s mind.
I need to put myself first than others.
I need to get a grip of my speed with which i trust everyone.
I need to pull myself back.
I need to stop expecting.
I need to learn to be practical.
Gosh! Such a huge exercise to do,all in the name of saving myself from the heartbreaks that leave their ugly marks on my mind!