Money Matters

Money matters and money matters…yeah like money matters but then I’ve little issues in money matters.Let me explain.

We all know money is the thing in this world, of course I’m not saying at the expense of relationships and emotions and trust…but money is important even if we are not materialistic or greedy.

When it comes to me handling money matters, I’ll admit I’m a disaster. Be it saving money or lending money. While on saving money part  I need not explain much as it is self explanatory so let’s not dwelve on that.

Coming to lending money. I can lend as much money I have and can lend. I’ll not even ask once the person in question as to why he/she needs the money AND when would I get it back. And most of the times I’ve been cheated  at a loss.

Once I was asked for a help of 10,000 rs cash upfront,by a friend. That time I did not have the full amount but the eager helper in me went ahead and borrowed the remaining amount from my other friend [who by the way asked me right then when would I return it ]  and gave the total 10,000 to the needy friend.

Needless to say that needy friend hasn’t returned the money yet,it’s been 8 years now.We stay in the same city and I come across him lot of times. Oh and the other friend from whom I borrowed asked for the money even before the decided date .Thankfully,I was able to give it back to her then or else it would have been a facepalm moment for me!

The whole point is I’m not against the other friend who asked her money back. I’m against my dilly dally nature when it comes to asking for my own money from people. And it’s not about the huge amount, it could be as less as 10 rs but the point here is of integrity and trust.

Talking about the 10 rs., I clearly remember it is from the time when I was in 8th std. Bunch of us friends had contributed rs.10 each to buy some gift for the b’day friend. I didn’t have 10 rs then with me so I asked my friend N to pay on my behalf since she had that much amount on her,committing that I would return it tomorrow.

The same day in the evening,while I was away playing with my colony friends,N came home to take back 10 rs. that she lent me in the morning in the school. I was shocked to heard that.

I was not shocked for totally for what she did. I was shocked that I don’t have guts to ask for my own money even on the day when the friends have committed,leave alone asking then and there.

I’m still not saying that asking your own money is rude / unacceptable. I think it’s better than forgetting / feeling shy to ask your money back. Most of the times I’m not comfortable to ask. I don’t like that and I don’t know how to do it although it has sometimes put me in hot soups but still I have not learnt how to ask !!!

So either I learn to ask back my money or stop lending! Ironically,both of these things are hard for me to implement 😦

Have you been in such a situation yourself or heard some experiences from others? Do you have such problem? What have you done to tackle this?

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30 thoughts on “Money Matters

  1. I keep quiet… all the time.. 😦

    Fortunately, there are no ppl around me who ask for 10K or anything bulk.. but I do lose my money in smaller sums.. like 100 or 200 per day.. Some firend would forget her wallet for the lunch and I end up paying for her. Needless to say, they forget. I cant ask 😦 Its not one time thing.. has been happening for me for the past 4 years and I still dont know how to tackle it.

    1. oh these types are plenty..I swear and these irritate a lot 😦 if someone is in genuine need,I don’t feel upset about lending money…but such types make me feel they forget their wallets on purpose 😦

  2. Gosh am so much like you..and its not just money, anything I lend to others..I feel shy asking it by..why I wonder? because its mine, and I have made it clear its lending..yet…I feel, why cant the other person just return it..but they dont 😦

    you are seriously my sister eh?

  3. baba re, you sound exactly like Zack. I have forgotten the number of times he has lent money and never asked back. With close relatives, it becomes even more difficult to ask 😦

    With friends, sending reminders after a week or so through sms does the work these days 😉

  4. i ask back.. first i give them the hints that i am need, then they will remember , if not straight away ask . to make it sound better, i always say, i might have not asked now also, but i am need right now, that is why asking.. :).. now a days i even keep a book, where i forgot to contribute or not collected money. it happens when we have to buy gift for others.so i keep track of it, instead of forgetting. forgetting to give back also happens, but it is with a limit, say 20-30 rs.. not in thousands..

  5. ‘Don’t ever borrow or lend money’ is something I follow and I got this from my dad. Once, after my 10th I gave some 100 rupees or so to a girl who was a friend’s friend. She took down my address and contact number and assured me that she would return the money in a few days. Needless to say, never heard from her again. That was a first hand experience for me. What ever may be the case, I don’t borrow. And when I have to lend, I make sure it is not something that is going to pinch me in case the borrower never returns it as I also have a problem in asking back for the money I have lent, and smaller the denomination, greater is my hesitation to ask for it. And I don’t know how to overcome it. The thought that I have to go begging after my money keeps me resolved not to lend huge amounts of money.

    My husband used to ‘help’ his friends a lot by lending cash from a few hundreds to thousands of rupees before our marriage. And most of it never got back to him. Now he has learnt to say ‘no’ to lending money.

    1. saying ‘no’ politely is the key I guess… yes it feels like begging for your own money..and like you said the smaller the amount the greater the hesitation 😦

  6. I am very good at lending and asking for it when I need. What I am bad at is, returning money. 😛 I easily forget and hence plead my friends to remind me whenever they feel like, that I owe them some bucks. But they being the nicest people, don’t do that and I end up paying them whenever I remember 🙂 But within friends we ask only when we need the money and if it is huge I tell them a few months earlier than my need-date, so they can arrange for it if they don’t have it. And neither will think bad about the other because we know each other.

    But really, 8 yrs is like forever Scribby. 10k is a substantial money and you need to ask for it, else your friend can’t figure out that you might actually need it. My cousin sister has the same habit of not asking for money and I’ve lost count of the thosands of 100 rs notes that she has lost in this way. They just dont pay if you dont ask. Esp if it is less amount like a few tens or hundreds.
    Your friends know you and wont think bad about you, if they do, they probably don’t know you well enough.

    1. I know 8 years a long long time and Husby keeps telling me the same..now that I consider that money gone he keeps reminding me to remember the lesson learnt for future at least….I hope I’m able to say no to such a huge amount and in general too!

  7. What can i say , I will sound like a broken record..

    When i came to uk , I learnt within the first few years of how good some of my friends or relatives were.. Money is very important and those who say it is nothing are living in god knows what world..

    I lost a few friends because I lended some money to them, Now they dont talk to me Lest I ask for the money back..

    The first few years of making money, buy property in india to invest all that went out of window, when I learnt that the money i was sending to buy those pieces of plot in JOINT venture were actually for THEM alone and nothing else ..

    so Now I have a rule never lend money to anyone, you will lose friendship once you give it , so if u lose by saying NO in the first place , then at least your money is safe..

    I have forgotten who i owe , as I know i will lose the people .. There are good people too, like my darling friend babbar, with whom i bought some plots and he says every time when am i coming so the registry can be done in my name rather then his wife..

    But that is rare in todays age imagine the piece of land we bought was 20lakhs and now its in crores so why would anyone want the return now .. I have learnt to say NO slowly

    1. you will lose friendship once you give it , so if u lose by saying NO in the first place , then at least your money is safe..

      how wise B…I’ve to learn from you all!

      and wow @ your friend,such friends are rare,true!

  8. I on principal do not lend or borrow. Ever. Especially to and from friends. I believe money matters can actually spoil a friendship to a large extent.That being said, I have lost money a lot of times (despite being against lending/borrowing), which makes me believe my theory even more. I would hate to ask for my money back, or be reminded to return becos I forgot, so I don’t do it at all.
    I know it sounds selfish, but I believe it keeps me closer to those who matter.

    1. I know this is the best principle to have…no lending no borrowing…but this side it’s tough to not lend..though I’m learning but slowly 😦

      My dad always tells me that money should not come in relationships and if at all it’s there then the matters should be clear right from the start to prevent relations going sour…When will I learn?!

  9. I know many people who have experience this. And I can very easily tell you, “go and ask for your money” but I know it is easier said then done. Thankfully I have never experienced this may be I have an aura around me which says “don’t ask her for money”.
    But at the end I’ll say that never hesitate to demand back what is lawfully yours. It isn’t that we are born rich people, we work hard to ern every single penny and we should value it and ask back for it.

  10. I’d be very embarrased to ask for money back too. Thankfully, people don’t ask me for money 🙂 You got a (two) jobs. Wah wah. Congrats chupe rustam 🙂

  11. I have learned one thing from my neighbor – that time and again indirectly keep reminding the other person so that he gets fed up. I have seen her doing that. Though it irritates me how she cannot wait even two days but that’s her way of extracting money.

    1. Yes it might be irritating but then at least she doesn’t loose her money..a small amount is still okay to let go but large amounts pinch hard on pockets!

  12. hayyo, K and I are both like that Scribby. I feel shy and find it rude and all. I used to help friends with payign for some school events and then never ask. My paretns owuld tell em that it is never rude to ask in a polite way after waiting for a while. I don’t follow it. However, the number of people asking for help is almost 0 now 🙂 am so far away and well, it is different here! K has lent money to his colleagues for their weddings etc in thousands and never asked back. So we make one item couple. But its nothing to be proud of. Infact it can estrange relations.

    1. lol @ item couple 😛 yeh that’s what re…it estranges relationships this way or the other..so like most of the other bloggers have said..better not to borrow and lend 🙂

      I hope me and you two learn this soon enough 🙂

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