Working Mommy?Oh no!

Yes even though I’m just 4 days old working mom they ask me when there is no need for me to work,monetarily,why I chose to leave my 1.25 year young daughter behind to “slog” ?

Is it all about money only,I ask? What about my freedom of choice? What about my individuality? What about the education that I’ve invested my time and energy in?

Ironically,it’s not only the interviewers that ask a “new” mother astonishingly about her choice to get back to work force but the ‘other’ people in life also poke their noses in the same fashion!

Few questions to these self-professed-intelligent-decision-makers of the society:

  1. Just how long a mother should not get back to workforce?
  2. Who is a “new” mother? Please define in terms of either the age of the child or the number of years of break from work by the woman.
  3. What is a mother supposed to do with her degrees earned?
  4. Does working mean only earning money,nothing beyond?
  5. Who are you to judge if I’m doing right or wrong? *showing middle finger*

I never had to ask for the money from Husby all this while that I was at home. I neither had to give him the hisab-kitab of the pennies spent in eating brownies and buying gifts for friends and shopping for earrings and neck pieces and watching movies! And I know he will never stop providing food,clothing and shelter to me whatsoever!

But does that mean I should not earn? If I really have to state why I went back to the workforce,this is why:

  1. Having my own money gives me a sense of control over life. Tomorrow never calls out and dawns upon anyone. Anything is possible to happen in anyone’s life. Life isn’t a fairy tale ,not even for a single earthling. So why not be prepared for the future? Why not be independent?
  2. Earning means contribution to the home and family. If I too can bring in some amount to the table,what’s wrong in that? It will only better our lives and our future. And wanting a better life is not insane,IMO!
  3. Working not only fetches one money but also brings in a sea change in the person, enhances her skills and keeps her connected to the inner self. Who doesn’t need all this,tell me!!!

I don’t know ya, time and again it comes around to the same points in a mothers’ life-leaving children behind, managing work life balance, sacrificing her own self for the children and family…..and everytime it comes to me, I get mad!!!!!!!!

I think people need to stop judging and poking their dirty noses in personal matters or I need to simply ignore….and right now I don’t see either of the above happening 😦

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30 thoughts on “Working Mommy?Oh no!

    1. Scribby let me tell you one golden rule, you cant please all and basically you shud not be trying even to please anyone. You are the best judge of how to take care of chirpy, YOU and your hubby.. THATS It .. the rest who ever they are rightly pointed out in the last line should keep their noses out of it ..

      I find it funny how people talk of others but then end up doing the same themselves. that makes them Hypocrites.

      and you scribby shud not let any of this influence you in any way …

      Kuch to log kahenge
      Logon ka kaam hai kehna

      let them do their work, you concentrate on yourssssssssssss…

  1. I personally think that moms shouldn’t be working because I have seen a gap between the children raised by working moms and non-working moms but its a personal choice and in fact this opinion has nothing to do with losing individuality or complaince with the societal norms but with the relation dynamics with the baby. This is my personal opinion, I again assert but the point you raise up is valid as to being independent and having money and an unpredictable life and its actually a good thing to manage both things on plate, in fact I appreciate such moms who can do that easily.

    Also, I have observed that many ladies leave their jobs not just because of parental devotion but most of the time it is difficulty with leading a dual responsiblity and not everyone is able to handle that pressure. So, its all a personal choice and a trend certainly doesn’t dictate any choice an individual may have.

    1. I appreciate your take and the honesty with which you’ve written what you’ve written 🙂 hugs on that!

      Yes not being able to cope with the dual responsibilities and sitting at home under the blanket of being a mom is not right…

      it indeed is a personal choice and I’m glad I’m able make my own 🙂

  2. *stands up and applaudes*

    you rock babes….I started work when R was three…errr…three months…I toh am written down in the mommy history books as the cruelest mom ever?????

    Muah to you!!!

    1. *bows down and thank you* 🙂

      one has to know you to ever make that kind of evil comment on you as a mother..you are a lovely working mom that I’ve know RM 🙂

  3. Shant mata shant! One option is that you be 100% convinced of what you are doing and then you can smile back and say that I enjoy working. I have ensured that my daughter is well taken care of. That will be the end of the story. If we are angry, we are bound to overreact. Of course, it is your life and your choice. Having been in your position and now earning and working, I feel just like you. I want to earn my money, bring some money to the family, most importantly have my own identity, feel the rush that work provides and do some justice to my qualifications.

    1. hehehe yes yes I’m pretty shant now 😉 I so agree with your thinking…as long as I’m convinced of what I’m doing is right I need not bother as to how people are taking it…thank you Rach…

  4. Take it from a working mom – IGNORE. Though I’ve been fortunate to have women closely related to me from prev generation to be working full time. At least MIL and other close ILs are fairly understanding. But what they cannot understand is how can I choose to do some more things (like swimming) outside of taking care of my kids and working :).

    1. Dearie I was so waiting for your advice wonly 🙂 Oh and thank god for my MIL and SIL too who have been working mothers themselves…it’s just the next layers of relatives and sometimes friends [huh] who astonish me!!!

      and I completely understand that ‘why extra curricular activity?’ stuff!

    1. Oh I’ll check your post shortly..waise bhi it’s being long that I’ve come around that side *sheepish smile*

      Oh Chirpy is great..and she would love to meet her G-Mau too 😀

  5. IMO learning to ignore is the best way Scribby though its not the right way.. As you ignore they would eventually stop at some point.. stay there.. take care

  6. Completely agree with your viewpoint scribby, I am not a mommy yet but I definitely believe in being independent and choose to do what I feel.. Oh people and the society will never be satisfied no matter wat u do.. They always hv to poke their Bloody noses and pass comments and also give free advices (Mostly unwanted)..

    There is no thumb rule on when a mommy should return to work, it all depends on the individuals, their current situations and the understanding b/w u an dur spouse.. If he is supportive enough then why care for anybody, and yes extra earnings will definitely add to the earnings and help u live a better life and gives a meaning to our lives too.. Best soln in such situations is to IGNORE dear.. All the best for the dual roles.. Happy Journey!!

    I am already liking being here.. You wud see me more from now.. 🙂

    1. I’m glad you think the way you do Losty [hope I can call you that?] Perfect point-there is no thumb rule to being a working mommy or not being one…

      I’d love to see you around often 🙂 welcome!

  7. Learn to ignore Scribby because people will never stop. I agree. Going to a job is about independence, having control over one’s life and enjoying one’s personal space as well. It is all about making choices and people don’t see to understand that.

  8. There cannot be one right answer for any of the questions IMO..Varies from person to person. It is irking when strangers and some times even close friends/ relatives keep questioning your choices..I am sure you must be feeling better after venting out here..so just relax , work & dream about the day when Chirpy would be waiting at the door to welcome you back from work 🙂

  9. Kuch toh log kahenge.. logon ka kaam hai kehna.. chhodo bekaar ki baaton mein, kahin beet na jaaye raina…

    People will always have things to say about you and your choices, irrespective of what stage of life you are in. So, as long as you are happy with your choices and your family and close ones do not have a problem with them, don’t bother with offering justifications to anyone.

    I have seen many people thinking this way. I just want to shout at them and tell them: Money is not the only reason a person works for! Come on!

    PS: How are you and Chirpy coping with your work? Thought I will e-mail you, but then thought I will ask you here itself. Please do reply/e-mail in detail.

    1. egggjactly sweetie…Kuch toh log kahenge 😦 and that’s what I need to learn…it’s my life and my choices 🙂 Me and Chirpy are doing good with this arrangement me thinks…it’s just 5 days as of now…let’s see how are we at the end of a month or so 🙂

  10. 🙂 Knowing how people around us are, you very well know that people will not stop poking their nose. So start practising meditation and you will excel in ignoring 😉

    P.S. I didn’t do meditation but have exceled in Ignoring such uselss talks because I know onething, I did what I felt right and I am not bothered about what others think about it. AT the end of the day it is a matter of choice 🙂

  11. I am not a mommy yet, but I guess the major reason I will continue working when I do get a kid is because I need to meet (at least see), talk and interact with people other than the kid and family members. Meeting new people is in itself such a bit learning experience. If any person (guy/girl) with a kid asks you about leaving your kid, you can ask them back that how do they manage to leave the kid behind 😀

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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