Clown me not!

“Beta say the alphabets” ; “Rinni, sing that song you’ve just learnt” ; “Baby show aunty how to do namaste” 

Sounds familiar? Must have looked familiar too since childhood,nah? Since I was kid myself I remember fellow kids were made to do what all they knew, learnt and were good at, to the neighbours, relatives and every one that their parents knew.

This took place in my family too, but quiet rarely,but it happened.

I understand this feeling, now that I’m a parent too…parents do get excited when their kid/s learn something new. They feel happy, proud and satisfied with every new development and of course they want others to feel good about it and praise their kids. Like when a kid starts saying some new words, some new dance steps, some poem or songs or prayers. Parents certainly have the right to feel proud at such moments and why not!

What’s wrong in this? Nothing really, but me being me, something about it doesn’t feel right either!

I’ve a problem when parents want to flaunt these developments in front of each and every guest coming home and/or meeting on the streets.

Okay, maybe sharing the happiness is not that bad but making the kid do all of that, when the kid doesn’t feel interested in it,is something I don’t approve of.

Of course I might be wrong here. But my thought process goes like this: You are happy, great! You want to share it with the world,go ahead. But you want your kid to prove it and do it every time someone’s home, not acceptable!

Your kid is not a clown. The kid is not supposed to entertain the guests by doing the antics even when it doesn’t want to, is all I’m saying.

I’m a 17 months old parent and my daughter too shows lot antics and several baby developments that make me proud and jump in excitement. I quickly pick up the phone and call mamma to share it, when close friends call I tell them too and sometime make Chirpy say few things on the phone to these people. But I make it a point that Chirpy is not made do all the stuff always and for everyone.

Even when talking to ma or close friends, Chirpy isn’t in the mood to say things in the phone that I want her to, I don’t force her. Cause I must respect her choice of saying no! 

When this behavior of mine was noticed in the family, they tagged me arrogant. They say I’m a rude mother, maybe someone full of wrong attitude. I thought I’ll make them understand why I don’t force my child to play ‘clown’ or stop them to insist her, but then I come to think of it in this manner: if they’ve not understood it the first time, they might never understand ever! Period!!!!

All I’ve to say to family and friends is ‘Clown my kid not’

 

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28 thoughts on “Clown me not!

  1. I have seen that too scribby… A lot of parents force their kids to do things which they don’t feel like doing at that point in time… The irritation is clear on the kid’s face but still the parents keep forcing even if you insist that its ok and they can let the kid be… It is wrong…

  2. respect the kid’s choice is the key.. the kid should get the feel that parents don’t dictate and they listen too.. this will give them a better environment..

  3. I totally agree with you. Not just for us parents, it sometimes gets annoying for the visitors. I don’t think its rude at all.

  4. u r right scribby.. i tell the same to my MIL when ever she makes bunty tell numbers or some news words in front of my neighbors again and again.. and the phone thing is so common.. i hav to call and tell my parents and hubby what new she did. bunty loves talking on phone, so give her the receiver when ever she asks and i dont force her when she is nt interested.

    1. same this side, Chirpy loves talking on phone and hence I let her do that..but when she is cranky and doesn’t want to even hold the phone I don’t tell her to say anything 🙂 we must respect their choices!

  5. Absolutely right! My elder son sings wonderfully…the trouble is no one has heard him sing except hubs and I. He’s a shy kid and would be mortified to sing in front of anyone else…and we will not force him to! I agree; your kid is not your doll or clown to be displayed in front of other people all the time!!

  6. Agree with you COMPLETELY! We believe in this policy too. Never did we ask Aaryan to perform in front of guests!! I have seen that for you, your child is the bestest and whatever he/she does is something of great significance for you! But the guests do not think that way, for all you know, you may be boring them to death with all this!!

  7. So true Scribby….this kind of thought is there in many mothers and thankfully you’ve put your foot down firmly !!! It’ll be great for Chirpy too, in her later years !!! She need not perform for the sake of others and that she can be happy doing things for her own self…this is what you are cultivating and its rude to term it arrogant !!!

    Hugs mommy…just be your own sweet self !!! 🙂

  8. I am absolutely with you on this. I try not to force her to do this and that in front of guests with the exception of her grandparents. In that case i try to use liltte bit force too. But in those situations my husband comes to her rescue and tells me off by syaing if she is not interested she is not. Dont push her. 🙂 🙂

    1. you know it feels good to see so many mom thinking on the same lines and daddy’s also pitching in to stand by their kids 🙂 world does have logical people 🙂

  9. Completely with you Scribby here, I don’t think its right on parents or grand parents to force the child to perform in front of other, first of all your friend’s won’t get excited as much as you as a parent to Chirpy, we should just let them grow naturally and enjoy their childhood.

    1. yes visitors/friends might not get excited so much maybe because they already are parents and have gone through this phase of their kids’ life or they are not parents yet and hence they won’t understand the depth of the excitement 🙂

  10. You said it scribby. I feel sorry for the kids all the time. When I’m with a child, I just want to have fun and play with them. It actually takes a long time to win a child’s confidence and get to really play. And that is what I enjoy the most not seeing how many milestones he/she has cleared

  11. You know what, Scribby, I was nodding my head as I was reading this. I too feel the same. Pity these kids, they are drawn into this comparing/competition mode right from their mother’s womb.

  12. Agree completely.
    There have been a number of times when my nieces have been asked to recite something or show something to me, just because I missed it while being at work, but none of that happens when guests are over.

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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