A new me?

Something has changed inside. Is it like growing up effect? Or coming on this side of 30 effect? Whatever it is called,if it is called something,that is!

I’ve been a very emotional kind of person throughout my life, I get attached pretty soon to people, I trust people at a very early stage, I long for tight friendships, relationships are utmost importance to me yada yada, you know!

So, for any person like this, it is easy to cry at the drop of hat,I’m sure you agree. When people leave, depart, detach or ditch…crying comes easily….and I’ve been doing the same-either cry by tears OR in heart.

Last week, Chirpy’s masseuse of almost 2 years left. She had some major family problem and had to shift back to her village. It was sudden and quick. Within a couple of days she left us. The last day when she came to meet Chirpy for the last time she cried buckets. She said all the things of missing us, Chirpy and all. All this while what was I doing? I was silently watching her despair and just plain telling her ‘it is okay, you must come and visit us often; we’ll meet sometime again in life,I’m sure’ type of things. Not a single tear welled up in my eyes.

I’ve been talking to this lady since she had started working for us. And she has been very talkative, expressive and quiet friendly. Always interested in knowing new things, learning about what is my work all about, what does Human Resource mean and how does life outside household works for working women. What is Internet and how I pay my bills typing few keys here and there whereas she still stands in long queues for the same. She wanted to know everything. She was in a way my friend with whom I chatted a lot, every day.

For Chirpy, she has been a god mother category women. Chirpy was so fond of her, every day when she came in Chirpy used to squeal in delight. every single day! It was a great association all this long and suddenly she had to leave!

I do miss her, of course, that’s why this post dedicated to her, I mean yes she is on my mind since last week when I saw her last! Life moves on and all that, but ironically people get left behind, far away!

Coming back to me not crying or feeling emotional at the time of her exit; I have realized that in past few instances, I have appeared emotionally strong and have not cried, not that I did not feel bad. So, maybe I’m changed? Motherhood? Ha! the guess could be anything,right?

 

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13 thoughts on “A new me?

      1. Err if it is, I think its nice to be shedding lesser tears 😛 I cry at the drop of a feather too. A little better now and am actually glad about it. It does not mean we are any less connected emotionally 🙂 Hugs!

  1. Its a phase Scribby.. I am just sharing my case.. It has been a phase for me always.. the “not crying” phase but sooner or later I have found myself in square one.. the same happens with amma too as we both are emotionally the same people..

  2. I think it is all about growing up. We deal with so much day in, day out that after some point we start to become numb. Not really a good thing but such is life. Hugs Scribby.

  3. Not crying does not equal no emotions. I would interpret this as you having a little more control on how you express yourself, not how you feel. The growing up can do that, make you a little conscious about how you react, perhaps for the baby? Because it might upset her or something?
    In any case 🙂 do not fret! Whatever happens is for good, so if there is a change, there has to be a good reason behind it too!
    Also, DO MY TAG. HMPH.

  4. as for motherhood, it’s made me much stronger. if there’s a little person looking at you thinking you can make everything better, you can’t really cry na? I don’t think crying is an indication of emotion. we feel the same just express differently.
    know what? I was so busy comforting the baby during the second vaccination that i didn’t think of crying at all!

  5. guess you shud be glad…it is a lot more tougher – to emote in todays pragmatic world. you are expected to be mature by not expressing your emotions. It really doesnt mean the lack of it – coz if thats the case – it wouldnt have been a topic to write about 🙂

  6. You may not have been crying but it doesn’t mean that you were not feeling her loss. You just expressed it in another way! I think this post is a good proof of your emotion for her!

C'mon,out with it,right here :)

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