2/30 Letters : Letter to My Crush

Dear M,

We met long back from now, almost 18 years back! Ha, such a long journey, hahaha! Mesmerizing to look back on this today… 

We met in a very filmy manner. Me and my cousins on one side of the joote do paise lo fight and you and your cousins on the other, superior side of it! You guys bargained very hard with us girls ( but finally we won! 😉 ) and that’s where we interacted first time. Later in the last function you approached me, asked for my name, what do I do and address to become my pen friend. 

I was naive and you were handsome, gentleman and well mannered. You seemed to be well educated and were the first cousin of the groom! I saw everything perfect in place and shared my address with you, not knowing what would be the next course of action or what am I supposed to do! 

I shared this with my cousins we all squealed as if something big had happened 😉 

The wedding ended and we went our own separate ways and I completely forgot you, well not completely, I shared this incident with my friends back home! But you didn’t write for quite sometime! I thought you made a fool of me and I let you do that! While I was thinking on these lines, a big fat envelope arrived at our doorsteps. 

It was addressed to me and hence was not opened by anyone else, the rule of the house etc. etc. When I was back from college (I was in junior college) I was handed over the envelope. To my surprise, it was your letter, a big long fat letter. You had written so much… so many things in your first letter, telling about yourself, your friends, your family and what not! Gosh, I was swept off my feet, impressed and I felt suddenly something about this all… I replied to your letter… then you sent me a letter again and the silsila chitthiyon ka continued for quite sometime… In my family a little teasing started taking place, my cousins said it is going to turn out into something etc etc.. all that felt great at that time 🙂 ekdum filmy! I did blush when my cousin and friends spoke about you ( and now I’m smiling so much on this)

When this began between us, I wasn’t fully aware if this was a crush or a serious affair taking place in my mind or a sensitive feeling in my heart, I just began following the path you showed and you kept pulling me towards you. 

God had something in mind for us, I think so even today, there was a wedding taking place in the families, this was the relationship being built within families…. your sister was getting married to my youngest maternal uncle! Funnily, all of us fall in almost same age group.. just 4-6 years apart…anyway, this wedding meant we were going to meet again! 

And meet we did, almost 2 years after we started writing each other, but something had changed… you just smiled at me upon receiving us at the venue and that’s it! You never bothered to talk, not even a general Hi, forget about chit chatting for a longer time.. entire 3 days we were under one roof but you behaved as if we were strangers! 

On the last, at the time of leaving, you came to me and said just this ‘sorry we can’t be writing to each other anymore, take care’ and that’s it!

My first crush died a sudden death, a teenage girl’s heart was broken, I was confused as to what happened exactly and for a while I was clueless about everything…but nevertheless, time actually acted as a healer and I realized very soon that it was not love, I was not heart broken and I didn’t have spend my days thinking of that someone who never was a part of my life or ever will be! 

You know M, later I realized, teenage days are like that, you fall very quickly for someone, your heart doesn’t allow you to think even once before deciding if it is crush or love or nothing! And you and me maybe sailed in one boat-of being naive, confused, attracted to each other and having crush on each other 🙂

And then I didn’t mind your behavior, because I realized you must have gone through something as well, there must some resistance from your family about our pen friendship…there could have been any reason after all! I had no rights to judge you and hence I stopped thinking of you in negative manner… In fact then I thought about  those months when we wrote letters to each other, I enjoyed, your wrote beautiful letters, you sent me cards on Holi and my B’day.. you had a pure heart, that much I could make out!

Also, looking at it today, if you would have not done what you did then how would I have met the love of my life today and my life would have not have been the same, like it is today! 

We both are settled in our own lives, I get to hear about your updates since our families are closely connected with 3 relationships weaved in, and I’m sure you would be hearing about me too, whether you like it or not 🙂 

All I want to say is you were a good human being and I always wish you a good life 🙂

While writing all this and looking back, this song is on my mind considering my situation that time 🙂 




3 thoughts on “2/30 Letters : Letter to My Crush

  1. well as you said you found the love of your life .. so it is true one door close another opens 🙂 had you continued writing to each other who knows , you might have missed this new door that opened ..

    All that happens.. happens for goood .. Take care scribby and god bless 🙂

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