I never thought or believed that I am the typical mom types. You know the ones who are tirelessly mothers to their kids 24*7, always ready to do whatsoever it takes to run around the clock to provide stuff for their children, to be available whenever the kids utter m of mamma, and never ever missing the ‘me time’ or so, you get the drift?
Well, not that I’ve become all this now. I’m still the same person, with fixed required me time for reading, sleeping and meeting friends. That said, I don’t love my baby any less and that’s evident, no really! But what I’m talking about here is, the emotions part. The emotional motherly person that I thought I had never be, I’ve become that or I’ve discovered that self in me.
Today is Chirpy’s first day of new session. She is now a big girl, so she says (these kids will never realize, they’ll never grow big for their parents!) I went in to drop her at school, and she as usual, her confident-independent types, started walking towards the entrance without giving a back glance at the waiting mother outside the laxman rekha aka the gate which separates the children from their parents, the gate where emotions break out, sometimes from the child’s side, sometimes from the parents’ side and other times from the both sides! So I followed her inside the gate, trying my luck if they let me go in for just few seconds with my child, and they did, voila! Ya, ya, I could see the wicked look on teachers’ faces saying aaj pehla din hai isiliye you are allowed, otherwise this laxman rekha is not to be crossed, samjhi tum? But this small lady, didn’t budge and wait, she must have thought this is the routine drill, what’s there for mom to come with me inside? Anyhoo, I thought today being the new session, teachers changed, classmates shuffled, my little girl must be feeling nervous! Sigh, to my surprise (well not actually, I should know what my daughter is like, by now!) she was sure she didn’t want me inside, not that she objected me being there. I stood there for a moment with her, they were made to wait, form a sitting line until all students coming in, section wise. I chatted with her teacher for a while, just to be present there, you know! But then everything was done, and I was standing there silent, and my lady? Ah, she was watching the other children who were crying and not wanting to let their parents go and all that stuff. That moment, that very moment I felt the pang hit me. I had a lump in my throat, I thought I would cry if I stood there for another 5 mins. Because I was emotional about leaving my daughter there on her first day of school, ha, ain’t it all a little funny? The mother feeling emotional, the only one feeling emotional that is? Funny as in, how some children just get used to the drill of life so easily? Nothing bad in it, not that I want her to cling to me and cry but then… but then what do I want really? I think this is what is called being a mother, is it?
Anyway, so I came home, sighed for sometime, thought about her, prayed to god for letting her be okay and enjoy her day and started on with my work, writing this post that is! This blog writing is such a relief I’m telling you, it settles down all my emotions and makes me stable!
So my girl, all of 4 is now in new class, all set to learn new things and soar high! How soon these little buds blossom!!!