I don’t know why this is happening to me. It is scary and doesn’t make any sense, yet it is there in my head and I’m so so horrified with it all.
I have been getting bad thoughts, real bad thoughts, about Chirpy since a few days now. And these are not dreams, these are thoughts that I get when I’m totally awake, very well in my senses and alone. The train of my thoughts take me such weird imaginations, I can’t believe! Maybe I’m reading / watching wrong stuff these days, when I’m not? Maybe these are hormones working on me? Maybe I’m emotionally worked up?
I’ve no clue why! But it is all very scary. I cry incessantly when I get these thoughts and I feel insecure about Chirpy’s safety. I feel something bad will happen to her. She’ll be in danger. She’ll be not safe when is out of the house. I’m acting finicky as a result and that’s more scary because this can shake up the otherwise cool and confident Chirpy, and God knows I never want that!
God, I ask for emotional strength from you, especially now when it is much much needed. I want you to keep my babies safe. I want everyone to be happy around. I want to get rid of these ugly thoughts. I want to smile and be happy. I want to think good and keep my mind clutter free. God, please help me help myself.