3 days in a row. 3 days and I’m behaving like a stupid woman. Without reasons I’m acting finicky about everything that is happening in my life and in my surroundings. I cried, I shouted and I threw tantrums. Not only at home but some what at office also I showed a little weird behaviour. What’s wrong with me? Why am I getting this stupid in my behaviour I don’t know.
People around me are my loved ones. They understand and they are taking it all with a smile on their face. They know that I’m preggers and that I’m bound to behave like this. They know that I’m on my last last leg, just about 10 days from the D-day and hence my hormones must be acting mixed up.
But what about me? Why am I behaving like this? Why are they supposed to take all this from me? They don’t deserve this kind of treatment, this kind of BS from me. I behaved a little stupid with Chirpy too yesterday and that was the heights of it. I said that “I’m not your Mamma so please go to your Daddy“. How rude, how wicked and how idiotic is that to say to a child of 4YO? I’m completely out of mind! I’m going nuts and I hate it. I hate myself for being so mean to people around me.
God, please save me! Please don’t let me break down like this. This could be fatal, for Chirpy. She will not understand and she is not supposed to understand my state. She is too young and I’m too old to behave like this with her.
I want strength to go on for next 10 days. I want to be happy for the unborn too. It must be feeling all that I’m feeling.
God please grant me the serenity to behave and stay normal. I want to be a good mother to my kids. I want to be a good wife to my husband who is doing so much day and night just to be by my side in however way he can be.
I’m in tears but I don’t want to cry. I’m in distress but I don’t want to feel sad. I want to smile and wait through the remaining time to reach out to the other end of this journey. Life is going to be good, different and I want to be ready to embrace it.
I guess I’m simply mentally tired and physically too. And I’m still working in office, so maybe it is adding it up. Or maybe I’m just going crazy about nothing! Or I’m eagerly waiting for the new baby. Or all of it together! I’ve no clue, I feel helpless!