2/30 Letters : Letter to My Crush

Dear M,

We met long back from now, almost 18 years back! Ha, such a long journey, hahaha! Mesmerizing to look back on this today… 

We met in a very filmy manner. Me and my cousins on one side of the joote do paise lo fight and you and your cousins on the other, superior side of it! You guys bargained very hard with us girls ( but finally we won! 😉 ) and that’s where we interacted first time. Later in the last function you approached me, asked for my name, what do I do and address to become my pen friend. 

I was naive and you were handsome, gentleman and well mannered. You seemed to be well educated and were the first cousin of the groom! I saw everything perfect in place and shared my address with you, not knowing what would be the next course of action or what am I supposed to do! 

I shared this with my cousins we all squealed as if something big had happened 😉 

The wedding ended and we went our own separate ways and I completely forgot you, well not completely, I shared this incident with my friends back home! But you didn’t write for quite sometime! I thought you made a fool of me and I let you do that! While I was thinking on these lines, a big fat envelope arrived at our doorsteps. 

It was addressed to me and hence was not opened by anyone else, the rule of the house etc. etc. When I was back from college (I was in junior college) I was handed over the envelope. To my surprise, it was your letter, a big long fat letter. You had written so much… so many things in your first letter, telling about yourself, your friends, your family and what not! Gosh, I was swept off my feet, impressed and I felt suddenly something about this all… I replied to your letter… then you sent me a letter again and the silsila chitthiyon ka continued for quite sometime… In my family a little teasing started taking place, my cousins said it is going to turn out into something etc etc.. all that felt great at that time 🙂 ekdum filmy! I did blush when my cousin and friends spoke about you ( and now I’m smiling so much on this)

When this began between us, I wasn’t fully aware if this was a crush or a serious affair taking place in my mind or a sensitive feeling in my heart, I just began following the path you showed and you kept pulling me towards you. 

God had something in mind for us, I think so even today, there was a wedding taking place in the families, this was the relationship being built within families…. your sister was getting married to my youngest maternal uncle! Funnily, all of us fall in almost same age group.. just 4-6 years apart…anyway, this wedding meant we were going to meet again! 

And meet we did, almost 2 years after we started writing each other, but something had changed… you just smiled at me upon receiving us at the venue and that’s it! You never bothered to talk, not even a general Hi, forget about chit chatting for a longer time.. entire 3 days we were under one roof but you behaved as if we were strangers! 

On the last, at the time of leaving, you came to me and said just this ‘sorry we can’t be writing to each other anymore, take care’ and that’s it!

My first crush died a sudden death, a teenage girl’s heart was broken, I was confused as to what happened exactly and for a while I was clueless about everything…but nevertheless, time actually acted as a healer and I realized very soon that it was not love, I was not heart broken and I didn’t have spend my days thinking of that someone who never was a part of my life or ever will be! 

You know M, later I realized, teenage days are like that, you fall very quickly for someone, your heart doesn’t allow you to think even once before deciding if it is crush or love or nothing! And you and me maybe sailed in one boat-of being naive, confused, attracted to each other and having crush on each other 🙂

And then I didn’t mind your behavior, because I realized you must have gone through something as well, there must some resistance from your family about our pen friendship…there could have been any reason after all! I had no rights to judge you and hence I stopped thinking of you in negative manner… In fact then I thought about  those months when we wrote letters to each other, I enjoyed, your wrote beautiful letters, you sent me cards on Holi and my B’day.. you had a pure heart, that much I could make out!

Also, looking at it today, if you would have not done what you did then how would I have met the love of my life today and my life would have not have been the same, like it is today! 

We both are settled in our own lives, I get to hear about your updates since our families are closely connected with 3 relationships weaved in, and I’m sure you would be hearing about me too, whether you like it or not 🙂 

All I want to say is you were a good human being and I always wish you a good life 🙂

While writing all this and looking back, this song is on my mind considering my situation that time 🙂 

Me!

 

Advertisements

1/30 Letters : Letter to My Best Friend

Dear R,

Our relationship goes a long way… way back to 1980s.. how old does it make it today? 30 years? Really? I too feel it is long long time, so much so that I wonder if this is true? Do they make such relationships anymore? I think we owe this to our parents, they brought us together and since then we are inseparable. 

Like all other relationships, we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve stayed apart for most of our teenage years, but our foundation, that is childhood has been spent together and we grew up with same beliefs and values that bond us even today, when we meet once in 2-3 years and speak once in a quarter (?, yeah)

I always have shared everything with you, boy friends, insecurities, fears and all bad stuff. I think we’ve seldom spoken about good stuff of our lives. For that we’ve lot of other friends, right? 🙂 I adore the fact that you trust me equally and pour your heart out to me the way I do to you! 

You know i never had to tell you how much I love you or the times when I didn’t want to speak with you, you just understood and never felt bad about it. 

You remember our Chinese Food outings? Our Non-Veg food obsession? Our late night pajama gossips? And hey remember the first time we learnt to make Dosas together? Aww girl, you have been my sister that God didn’t send for me.. you are my sister from another mother! I mean it, totally mean it! 

And very recently, our Mumbai rendezvous? The getting talli in Happy Singh and laughing non stop till we reached home? Gadhi, we could have got kidnapped that day after getting drunk on tall glasses of Sex on Long Island or whatever it was, see I don’t even remember 😛 

You know you are that friend to me with whom I can bare my heart and soul! You make me comfortable in every which way, in my own skin, the way I’m and the person ME,because of the only fact that you will not judge me!

I think I never told you this, I never had to, but when this opportunity came, I could not leave this chance. Babes, I love you to bits! I owe you a lot, my love, my time, I owe you ! You’ve been there silently for me and have never stepped back, in my bad times and even in my good! I look up to our friendship when I’m searching a relationship with trust. You’ve been an anchor and I exactly love the kind of friendship we have : least expected and so much giving! We don’t mind things said or done to each other, we abuse each other, we hate each other and we spoil each other rotten, but at the end the love current binds us together and that’s what matters sweetheart!

Also, this letter writing has come at the right moment, it is 1st day of September, and I need not mention why this month is special for both of us 🙂 🙂 🙂 

Leaving you with a song that touches my soul, makes me sentimental and I remember you every time I listen to it 🙂

This song is kind of made for us type of friends wonly 🙂 

Stay you, always!

Love!

 

 

My life today!

I love my life! Yes at this moment my life is beautiful.. things that I wanted and were missing in life are now all there! I get up with a smile and sleep with content… There are some changes that I’ve done to my schedule which are a bonus too…

I’ve disabled my work email from phone which lets me be me, the mother, the wife and the person I’m at home. I’m no more a HR professional round the clock! That has brought a big time change in my life and the way I spend my time…

I switch off my thinking button when I’m at home. I no more think about work, strategies, planning and grievances that people have with HR, which are never ending! After all it is not about me personally, it is about the system which I’m a part of! I need not carry it home and fret over it, there are better things to plan and think about, period!

I know these things are nothing great that everyone should learn from me or start doing after reading them on my blog… these things have always been there in the rule book of life, only I was ignorant of them and was kind of making mess of my life by overdoing on work front!

We’ve met our family friends, friends that we can call Family Friends as! I always wanted this to happen and till date have waited for couples with kids same age group as ours and the major factor: clicking !

There are two families that we have become friends with, their kids are gelled well with Chirpy and we adults are similar in almost everything which makes us Family Friends! Now it is not something to rave about or write 3 paragraphs on, but for me it is essential part of life since all our close friends are in some other city or country. Moreover, gelling with people and their spouses at the same time is a little tricky and that’s why with us it never happened till we met R&M and V&K. We girls have clicked so fast, which is not shocking 😉 but the guys have clicked even so much so that in 2nd meet we decided to take up a holiday together, and trust me it was just not a plan, it actually happened! Too much good happening in last 2 months! touch wood!

So things are moving fast, we are growing up and our daughter is growing up with lightening speed that for every kid is true! She is our center of gravitation! We fall for her, every single time!

Job’s good, I feel settled, I’ve authorities and I get importance! I have started managing time to read, to take breaks and spend with my own self, I’m writing again which makes me happier, I’ve got involved in lot of Human Resource community activities and that keeps me motivated too!

Life can’t be better, can it? There are friends who ask me how do I manage doing so much and still am happy and not drained at the end of the day. There are friends who ask me how do I manage to look young and (not fit though) decked up (subtly) having a demanding job and fulfilling responsibilities at home.

If I really have to answer this, it is my MIL and Husby who support me in every step that I take. I’ve to never worry on personal front if I’ve to take up travel for work, I don’t have to fret if I have to stay back late in office, I don’t have to look into Chirpy’s studies on weekdays… it is all worked out well between 3 of us and it is rocking !

So in a nut shell I feel I’m on the top of the world. My life is good and I’m happy. But there are always BUTS in between, how can the circle be complete without them, right?

These little things are not worrying facts, but yet they surround my thoughts all the time, like we are yet not sure on having a second child. I’m not sure if we are doing justice to chirpy by delaying so much? Or is it for her good? I’m not sure if we will have a second child cause we have not yet finalized on this. This still is a cursory thought in our conversations. Other thing is my weighty issues. I know I know I know, it is all in my hands and all that but that’s the whole problem, it being only in my hand I’m not doing it. Why? I ask myself? And then I look back at my own pictures and I feel saddened to see myself now! What have I done to myself and why? This question remains unanswered, the plans go for a toss every morning and at the end of the day I’m just few more kilos heavier! For this, I hate myself, very much! But this is an old story, the whole point I’m trying to make here is they say one can never be happy, never be satisfied, I think it is true in my case, I will always want something from life at every point of time! Such is life, right?

So what is it that you want today? Are you happy thoroughly? Has your wants list exhausted?

4 Nuttie Scribblers,Reading Through Each Others’ Mind with Peppered Thoughts!!!

So this is how the story begins! There were 4 scribblers who were kind of nut cases, you may say that, decided to meet one fine morning for a lavish breakfast!

They decided for a long time,over around 100 messages where and when to meet. Finally, the place was decided, the date was frozen and the wait begin!

They’ve been friends since quite sometime now but they had never met together like this, so obviously they all were excited to see each other!

The D-Day came and and and they met! They laughed, giggled, spoke about motherhood, children, societal pressures, boys and girls, hogged on nice stuff at Star Bucks and indulged in double chocolate!

It indeed was a great great pleasure for them and they decided to do this often, as often they can! After all, you become friends with virtual world bloggers very seldom 🙂

P.S. This was the crux of our meeting, me , Nuttie, RM and Pepper met last Sunday! It was great fun, no doubts about it! It was like old times, it never felt we all are meeting for the first time, I know I know this sounds like so cliched but can’t help it since it is true and that’s exactly how we felt! No awkward moments, no silences, no thought of what to talk and no thinking before speaking or pretending, just being ourselves and enjoying the rendezvous, the lavish Sunday morning breakfast 🙂 

P.P.S The brat, our very famous brat came along to the meet and what a pleasure it was to meet her again! She’s a doll, a very intelligent, bubbly and fun loving doll! So adorable!

P.P.P.S I had the privilege to meet the Nuttie junior!!! My darling hero for whom I’ve fallen since he was in mamma’s tummy 🙂 I’ve a strong connection with him since that time, so you can imagine how I feel about him being around 🙂 I was impressed, my heart skipped a beat and I fell in love with him all over again !!!! 

P.P.P.P.S. all these girlies are great company to have! Beautiful, Intelligent and Warm souls! God bless them all!! 

P.P.P.P.P.S. We tried hard to pull in Saga and DI into this rendezvous but we failed 😦 and we missed these girls so so much, I wish they could’ve made it! But I’m not losing hope, meeting all of you will be for next time 🙂 

Hail Blogging ! Hail Blogger Friends !!!!!

Am I God?

There are personalities. I’ve one and you have one. Your personality can be exactly like mine and someone else might have a completely different personality.

Despite of which people come across each other in all walks of life, become friends, their wavelengths match, they respect each others’ individuality and they very well know that they are different in some or the other way.

Sometimes, you say or do something which in your thought is right and is not hurtful to others in any which way. Many a times you might not even give a thought that something that you’re saying/writing/doing might hurt someone because you do it very generally and totally unintentionally.

Now at this point the other person who is affected by your actions points it out to you and makes your realize that they’re hurt. You explain it was not intended but if it still did you don’t hesitate in apologizing, just for one single reason: you don’t want the friendship/relationship to go bad. Because relationships are beyond hurt and sorry-ies, they are difficult to build and should be taken ahead by both sides!

All I’m trying to say here is we all are human beings and we all go wrong. We all are wise enough to see and judge whether someone said/did something on purpose or by mistake. We must learn to let go, especially the things which are too minute to spoil a lovely relationship. We must weigh what is important to us, the person or the giving importance to a silly reason… especially when you tend to forget that in order to point out other’s mistake you do it so rudely and wrongly! What about that?

I’m not God, I’m a human being, I try to be nice and good in life and I always try that no one’s hurt by me. But if at all I go wrong, I’m open to your views and to discuss and resolve the matter only to move on and put things behind.

On top of this, my weakness is relationships.. I fear losing friends! I’ve tried to become practical, not pursue persons after a certain limits and I’ve also let people go their own way but only with a deep dent in my heart which remains and shall remain till I’m alive! I don’t know if this happens only to me or it is common to everyone. It leaves a heartache even when I think of such relationships in my life that have gone sore..

Am I God? No! I may go wrong, but what the heck, you can too!

And thus we met :)

It all started with that email last week from her and thank god for I checked it on time. Because currently on most days, I don’t check my personal emails very regularly.

But I believe we were destined to meet and hence I checked it on time. She confirmed whether I live in the same city that she is travelling to and thought that I live there ;), I confirmed and we exchanged numbers.

Called each other, decided that Saturday would be the best time to catch up since It’ll be a weekend for me and the wedding will be all over for her, so both ways pretty free time to chatter!

So today, the calls were made to and fro and plans were changed at least 15 times 😉 and finally we met at her SIL’s house. Thankfully that place was quiet near to my residence and we could reach there within 5 mins or else I would have to rush to rail station where we would not have got a better time to talk….

Not that we could speak a lot at home, but at least we sat together for a 10-15 mins and spoke to each and it was great!

Take Away from our meet:

In 15 mins also you can talk a lot-ranging from work, blogging, weather, language and kids of course 🙂

Meeting with your kids is a grrrrreat idea! Watching them starting to be friends to each other is awesome 🙂 Especially if that means hugging and kissing 😉

Blogging is quiet familiar to our families and we don’t have to explain how on earth can BLOG friends,whom you probably don’t know the real name too, be interested in meeting each other !

Both our husbands are quiet accustomed to such on-the-fly bloggers meet 🙂 They didn’t seem surprised at all 🙂

Brat is totally the cutest boy! He is so so so adorable, I couldn’t have enough of him… I wanted to really bite him and maybe gobble up too 😉

Last but not the least: we made promises to meet again and next time for a longer time to chatter more and boy! blogging is fun, have I not said it here multiple times? If I would have not blogged, I would not have met her!

It was great meeting you Smita, I simply adore your simplicity, the ease with which you speak and let the other person feel at ease, there was no air of awkwardness even for a moment when all of us were sitting together…your family is lovely, they made us feel so welcome! I’m absolutely glad we met dear, we must meet again 🙂

and peeps, Smits is NOT FAT, she is simply cute 🙂

Leaving you with a bit out of focus pic for obvious reasons of course!

20130119_150647
We with the kids 🙂

 

 

I need to take a break from ‘Friends’

Friendships,hmm! The word by the go is so confusing,no? I mean especially for people like me who are very emotional [fools!]

You become friends with someone, you put all your heart and soul in the friendship, you love the person to the core, you do anything within your limits to keep that person happy and then suddenly one fine day you wake up to only see that the person not only is gone away but stabbed you in your heart….

You make online friends-blogging to be precise, you invest your love in them, you’ve not met them personally but you have exchanged all your information and you’ve spoken to each other and you tag them as your ‘friends’ after knowing them ‘really well’ and then one fine day they stop visiting your blog and stop being in touch on FB and when you ask ‘why’ they say ‘a little busy’ but you notice that they are all over the blog land but your blog. You feel hurt and left with no answers to so many ‘whys’ dancing in your head!!!

No don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking of the comments on the blog. I’m talking of people being honest / cheating on you. Picture this: You ask your old blog friend,who was by the way very regular on your blog until recently,that why have you stopped commenting/visiting my blog to which your friend replies that she is extremely busy these days and not blog hopping much. Whereas you see her on every other blog and every day! Won’t you feel you were lied to? Won’t you feel hurt?

It’s not compulsory to comment but IMO it’s really necessary to be honest in friendship,for that matter any relationship. You might not like what I write but then we are friends so this means it’s more than being blog buddies,right? We now exist in each others’ real life and that is a different relationship altogether…so it’s not just blogs…it’s friendship that’s going haywire and that hurts me by tonnes.

What irks me too is that people by just not saying anything decide to get up and leave. I mean leave a word even if that means a ‘good bye’. At least be courteous for the good times that we spent together,right? Is it asking for too much?

Just when do you really ‘know’ that this is your friend? How do you test the other person? Even after so many years on this earth and countless grey hair,I’m still a novice 😦

I cringe on loosing friends.My fault is I instantly trust people and give all my love to them. I need to learn a lot about friendships,I guess. People come and go and sometimes also take advantage of your goodness,I’ve to stop that!

Every phase of my life has seen a friend or two cheating on me and mostly using me for her own good. And the funny part is every single time I fall pray to such people around…ain’t I so brilliant? Huh!

And the worst part is because of handful of such people I tend to suspect the other genuine friends-from virtual and real world,both. I get scared to get close to anyone and open my heart up. I feel insecure in everyone’s company in general then. Basically, I get confused and feel like not having any friends at all !

I need to strengthen my heart and service my brain.

I need to stop being emotional about everyone.

I need to give some time to other person to prove his/her goodness.

I need to stop loving so much.

I need to prioritize.

I need to stop making best friends in every circle/phase of my life.

I need to understand other’s mind.

I need to put myself first than others.

I need to get a grip of my speed with which i trust everyone.

I need to pull myself back.

I need to stop expecting.

I need to learn to be practical.

Gosh! Such a huge exercise to do,all in the name of saving myself from the heartbreaks that leave their ugly marks on my mind!

Blog Duniya Ki Maya

I’m blogging since 5 years now and it has been wonderful here. You get to vent, you get to read so many things, your knowledge increases, you get to share views, you get to see lovely photos and learn new recipes and there is no end to this all. Above everything else, you get to make lovely friends in the blog world. They being virtual friends initially,move into your life without efforts and before you know they become an important part of your real life.

In these 5 years I’ve made some really awesome friends and beauty of the thing is barring few I’ve not met them all in person yet! But it really doesn’t matter if I’ve met them in person, I can still say I know them and they are my close friends.

Blog Duniya certainly has a special place in my heart-for everything that it has offered me over the years. Until now it was just me who was being showered by love and care but now it’s extended to Chirpy too!

It’s unbelievable,really! These all love Chirpy so much,she can’t have asked for more 🙂 Glad to see she has some rocking blog aunts 🙂

Without saying more I’m leaving you with some gift pictures that Chirpy has got so far by her blog massis 🙂

Lovely gifts from Lovely Massis 🙂

Sadly, the toy picture is not there which Ums Perimma gave Chirpy in Chennai !

Needless to say my eyes brim with tears when I recieve the parcels and I’m saving all the letters/cards for Chirpy to read when she can. She has to know how her massis love her so much already!!!

But this is not of now…this trails back to the times when Chirpy was in my tummy. These lovely ladies planned my baby shower which was the happiest event of the 9th month! I was overwhelmed by the love these ladies sitting in different cities and countries showered to make one soul happy!

Aisi Hai Blog Duniya Ki Maya 🙂 Bless the soul who brought in the concept of blogging 🙂

All of you blog dosts: SmithuDeepsRMComfyDISagaNutsUms, SeemaSwarPixieTitaxyKanu, G, Happy Feet,Meira, LLT and PB thanks for being there in my life, I feel blessed to have friends like you around!

And Saks, don’t be so mad at me lady….didn’t mention your name cause you are my samdhan no? 😉

so this is what happens when you try to list your close friends…there are full chances that you miss out adding someone’s name and then you know what happens…all the desi love is showered upon you *sob,sob* 

‘It’s a wonderful life’

Just finished watching this movie and I’m glad I did. It certainly is a wonderful movie and many thanks to Ani.

Ani,you know what have you done? You made me cry my happy tears at the end of these 2 hours…I’m delighted,I feel lighter and more importantly I feel blessed and do you know why? Because I have friends like you 🙂

The bestest part of the movie? Well,it’s tough but still the best thing I loved is the above note that conveys the message of life,of beliefs,of friendships and of faith!

Thank you all for checking on me..I’m doing good and that was a passing phase which peeped in for a moment in my life and made my churn out those silly sad posts 🙂

I’m glad I’ve this life,my family and friends like you,I’m glad!

If you’vent watched this movie yet, what are you waiting for? Go get your DVD NOW!

A secret wish to God : *I want my Clarence Oddbody AS2*

Bengaluru!

The countdown has begun,YAY!

Just a few days to go and I’ll be meeting my childhood friend,a friend of 25 years ! The idea is to rock the world where all four of us-she,I,Chirpy and her daughter A-are going to have a week’s holiday away from the husbands and fathers 😉

Super excited and looking forward to much awaited trip 🙂

YAYAYAYAY!!!