Dear Chirpy-High Five

Dear Daughter Chirpy,

2016 is an important year for us. One of the greatest things happened is you turned 5 this year! A mark in itself, of growing up, becoming Didi and understanding whole lot of things that we didn’t imagine that you can!

I think I should stop saying this, we can never imagine what all you can think or logically arrive as a conclusion at. You always surprise us, amaze us and make us proud with your wit, intelligence and comic streak! I love that you are a fun loving child and that you seldom feel low or sad and you are totally and completely indulged in happiness and living life!

That being said, you cry at the drop of the hat, my dear girl, you are very sensitive and feel deep for people and things around. I respect that, but at the same time I want to tell you to not be so emotional about things or people so much so that you feel weak! But then your Deda tells me to let you be, its not the right time to tell you big life lessons. We have our own debate going on this one, I think you should be guided on the right path right from the start and he thinks I should let you evolve as a person on your own.

So yes, he’s right but at the same time I feel I’m not wrong either. I don’t want you to be strong and sturdy at your heart, feel for right things and let other things go! While we are yet to arrive at the conclusion of our debate, we are just letting time take its own course.

Today when I see you as a big sister, my heart melts. Today you are exactly the same sister to Sibby that I had imagined-loving caring and protecting him. On the other hand, Sibby being a boy, he shows his boy genes and dominates you, sometimes bully’s you (of course he doesn’t know that he’s doing that 😉 ) and we are NOT surprised to see that you never retaliate. You remain affectionate towards him and cuddle him more. Sibby, as right now we can gauge is a little moody. He is playful with you when he wants to and then there’s no limit to his love for you! He’ll shower you with sloppy kisses and even give you small bites as token of his love 🙂 (Yeah, that’s how Sibby shows love to someone-by biting on cheeks!) We enjoy this sight, we love the way you two are growing up and especially when you are off to school Sibby is the one who feels most upset seeing his partner go away, its a sign, he loves you to bits dear didi!

Dear Chirpy, you are a lovely girl, sometimes a little naughtier but other times you are an angel 🙂 Mamma keeps saying this all the time, but seriously, she means this to the core , She loves you a lot!

And to answer your question if I love you the most than anyone else, yes baby, I love you the most!

Yours Lovingly,

Aai!

 

Just Some Sweet Nothings…

…which really mean a lot!

^Chirpy is more than caring, acting like a beeg baby already and planning stuff to do in later days from now.

^She understands that she has to behave in a manner that she be called a good elder sister, every act and every thought now circled around this one thing : I’m a big sister and I’ve to be a good example.

^Books, Toys and now even clothes are categorically being sorted and kept aside for later use.

^The wait is long, she knows but she is patient, careful and helpful in my journey!

^She has a routine, which has not broken as yet, to start the day by wishing good morning and go on until she says good night to her younger sibling, she does it religiously, with so much passion and love!

^I feel emotional, teary eyed and thankful to the almighty for letting me experience these sweet nothings that life is offering to me, and I’m glad I’m able to hold these all and save in my heart!

Dear Chirpy, you are the first love of my life and you shall always be, no matter what, no matter who! You’re going to be the same to me, months and years later from now. I’ve loved you with my heart, and that love is reserved for you! You’ve a special place carved in my heart, which belongs only to you, and no one can reach there, trust me! Everything that you do and say , every little thing that you did first, is right here, etched in my mind, to never forget ! You are always going to be my first… nothing can change that my love!

Yours Mamma!

Dear Chirpy-Four And How…

Dear Chirpy,

You are soon going to be 4 now. A big girl indeed. We’ve had 4 happy joy ride years with you and I can’t express enough the happiness that you’ve given to us. We love you, to bits. 4 years back, at this time, I was so anxious, so eager to have you in my arms. I was waiting, counting each day by passing hours. It was time to keep a track of your movements and you my girl, entire 9 months you’ve been an awesome baby inside my tummy. And once out, you’ve been a non stop roller coaster of chirpy-ness and laughter and dher sari masti!

I  love your personality and I’m not saying this because I’m your mother but other than that as well, I love the person you are becoming. You are inquisitive, honest, straightforward, non-messy, de-tangled, moderately emotional, loving and giving! You are a giver, you love sharing your things with everyone that you know is close to you or us. You are fun loving, outgoing and total dance maniac.

All this combined is going to be a great girl altogether, I’m sure 🙂

There is always so much going on your mind. You’ll have umpteen number of questions for us and you want them to be answered right away. You know why I love this? Because that makes us think too and gives our thoughts a different perspective. I like talking to you, you are like me, a non stop chatterbox 🙂

And in all other ways, you take after your Deda. Intelligence, looks, honesty, smartness and loving nature.

When you were born, just very little, tiny bundle, I and your Deda used to talk debate about whom would you look like etc. And today we both are happy souls, why, because you’ve got right mix of both of us. You balanced us out and we couldn’t have settled down for anything better than this 🙂

Chirpy, today now that you are grown up from your past self, I would like to tell you that Mamma feels proud of you. Whatever you are, for that she loves you very much! Sometimes, Mamma feels scared, about raising a daughter in this kind of society, and feels insecure! But in hearts of hearts I know, things are going to be fine for all of us. We’re going to be that perfect family, happy, safe and experiencing simple joys of life. I know I kind of deviated from the actual and wrote something that maybe I should not have written right now, in this letter, after all this is your B’day letter, but then I just opened my heart to you, Mamma is being frank with you sweetie!

When you have a sibling, I’m sure you are going to rock that new role that you’ll have to play, for your entire life. You are a perfect elder sister any sibling can have. I wait for that day when I will see you playing with you sibling, sharing things and teaching new stuff to him/her. I know you long for one now, you understand the equation which has two people in a relationship where one is Didi and other is younger 🙂 You’ve got that from one of your best friends, SV. She is a sweet little girl, just like you, I know you both are going to be fast friends, in fact I want that to happen 🙂

So, all I’m saying is, time is running, you are growing up, no more our little bundle but a sweet little person. But always remember, for parents, their child is always a small baby, trust me, no matter how old you become, you’ll always remain our small little bundle of joy, our little princess!

We love you very much!

Happy 4th in advance darling 🙂

Yours

Aai.

Dear Chirpy-Teen Ka Tadka

Dear Chirpy,

Yet another phase of your life has begun. You’ve entered the ‘new’ school, ‘big’ school. The play group days are over. On your last day at your play group, I felt so emotional. I felt would miss coming here every morning, seeing all the little children playing in the garden, sliding over and swinging high, crying for their mothers and carrying the little gifts proudly. I would miss meeting your teachers and talking to them about your progress and dadagiri , yeah quite literally!

But you didn’t show any sign of missing your old school. Not that I was not expecting this, I was very much sure that you would not look back because you were to excited to look forward to your new ‘big’ school that you’d be telling everyone you met about. Also, I think you are too small to understand even the feeling of ‘missing’ something or leaving something behind. It is only me that got all worked up and became all sentimental. Mothers!

Your new school: First day: I was a little skeptical and all that of the washrooms, the play area and the classes… in fact everything of it all! And you, my angelic warrior you simply got hold of your bag from me, gave me a flying kiss and marched past everyone to your class… by the way did you even know which class you had to go in? Hahaha, you just walked in. There were couple of children crying out loud in your class having left alone with the teachers… you sat in your chair in the class, looking around amused, giving a kind of expression that said ‘why are these crying, can someone please tell me?’

I waited in hiding outside your class thinking what if you too start crying looking at other children? Just in case you know! But madam, you were sitting right there with the same expression on your face, why is everyone crying,huh! The entire scene was so touchy, for your sensitive mother, that she started crying herself, even when her own child was not crying but just because other children were wailing for their parents 😦

I decided to move out, I walked briskly and got into my car and drove off home!

You know I feel you are way too less emotional but then I think this is good. Not that I want you to be feeling less or something. You do cry your share of tears when it is really needed, you do love with all your innocence and warmth, but you are not touchy, and I think that’s good. You are kind of practical, well, like your father you see!

There is so much you’ve started doing and the long sentences that you keep floating at us, drops my jaws at times. You reason out with us like adults. You are a no nonsense girl who doesn’t want to hear round and round lectures about what not to do or what to do, you simply tell us to cut is short and move on! It surprises us to no bounds, your ability to logically put your argument against ours’ and then most of the time win it since you’re not only logical you are smart enough to turn the bargain into you win we lose, well most of the times 😉

I like the way you call me Mamma. You’ve stopped calling me Aai way back. You made this choice on your own. You just decided that I’ll be called as Mamma! and I never tried to change your choice, whatever you call me, it sounds only sweet! Is the mother in me speaking? oh well!

Just few days back on your 3rd b’day I was telling you how you came into our lives, that morning 3 years back, when you cried and made your entry in this world, smiled at Deda and slept cozily near me. You heard me so intently and you asked me again and again “mamma, how small was I then?” and I told you how fitted in my lap and now you are just growing out of it! You felt amused, to know that you were a baby yourself, you feel that you’ve grown up, like an adult and being a baby is a thing of past, but my darling gabu like the cliched sentiment flows from generation to generation in each family, you’ll always be my baby, no matter how taller or older you grow 🙂

On your 3rd b’day, I wish you 3 things: Intelligence, Kindness and Compassion. May you have all three in you, always!

Yours Emotional

Mamma!!

 

Dear Chirpy-Your New Life!

Sweetipie, I know mamma has not written to you since long, the longest break I guess. Though I keep making mental notes of what you said and what you did new or first time and I sometime feel writing it all will make it all very mechanical so I cherish it in my heart! But actually writing it all here would not only make me  happy to read it later down the years, it will bring alive your childhood for you also 🙂

I might have sounded  a little confused here above, doesn’t matter. By now you sure know your mother, don’t you? 🙂 This reminds me, I’ve never seen you confused Chirpy, how do you manage to stay focused on what you want and what you don’t?

You’ve taken that perfection-to-the-T attitude from me, I feel proud and sometimes I’m worried because being perfectionist raises bars of self expectations and I don’t want you to raise that bar too much for yourself in future, it becomes saddening sometimes!

Intelligence, I guess you’ve taken from the right source, and that is your Deda! He is your prime source of knowledge and focus. You take after him in this field, I can say without a doubt 🙂 *thank god my prayers are answered*

A week before Diwali, we enrolled you in the play group. I tried to push this moment for long, tried to kind of keep you at home, feeling that this will keep you protected and away from the big bad world out there. But I could not have been selfish for long time. You deserved seeing the world, making friends, living the life every kid does and opening your wings!

And open your wings you did! The very first day of the school, you shocked the Principal. She was all the while counselling me about how you would cry for first few days and how that’s normal for every kid to feel separated etc etc. The moment all the formalities were over, you were taken inside by your teacher and not for a single time did you look back at me. You simply walked with the teacher saying a loud “I’m going Mamma, will be back soon, okay?”

Honestly, it didn’t surprise me much since I’ve got a hang of your nature, you’re kind of extrovert and you are social aka you’re like me 😉 So, the teacher took you in and the Principal gave me a surprised look!!! Since that day, there is no looking back, you struggle to get release of my hold the moment I take you out of the car at school gate… now 3 weeks down the line you don’t want me to even go inside the school gate, because you are independent, strong and fearless…your walk screams this 🙂 and you want to go inside all by yourself!!! But at the same time you want only me to pick you up from school, you reconfirm that while we are on the way “you’ll pick me, hai na?” . You want to tell me stories of what happened in school in those 3 hours and tell you what I’m so so glad I’m able to be around for you at that time 🙂 thanks to my workplace flexi timings!

The other day when I asked you what did you do today, you replied “aaj teacher ne data” and I sort of knew what was coming. I asked “oh why?” to which you very casually said “Teacher asked to sit at one place, main masti kar rahi thi” !!!!!

And and and, yes Chirpy your mother had anticipated this as well… all she could react to herself is this is just the beginning !!!!

Chirpy, I’m glad you’re liking your new life. The new world that you’re exposed to. I want you to be you, learn, laugh, play and stay happy in whatever you do. This is the beginning of a bigger picture in life and in your journey me & your Deda will always be there, however possibly we can, to hold you tight and to show you the light!

Chirpy, you’re the love of my life, I can’t say it enough, I can’t say it right enough!

Love,

Aai!

Dear Chirpy-2 is 2 good :)

Somethings are better whispered,Somethings are better said between us…These somethings are treasure of my life !!!!! All that you say in my ears acts like melting sugar!

You stick to me like my clothes yet you let loose when I go to work… You come running to me at the gate and you want all my attention when I’m at home.

I call you bandar and you reciprocate in a teasing tone Monkkkkkkeeeey!!!

You talk non-stop and they say you’re following my footsteps!

When you were yet to be born I always wished you took over your father but now when someone says you are like me, I feel proud!

You are my world, just how magical it is that a tiny little being can be an entire universe to someone, but wait this is a wrong question when that someone is a mother 🙂

I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow  whether we’ll fight or be friends. But the present is in front of me and I can see that we are inseparable.

Sometimes you act like our grandmother, typical dadi attitude 🙂 and your hand gestures match the words, just where do you learn all this from? Do kids come ingrained with this nautanki ? 😉

I can never say it enough, just how one says it enough, tell me Chirpy, the immeasurable love that is in my heart for you my dear daughter, just how do I tell you? Will you understand even when I’m not able to express? I guess you’ll 🙂

You’re growing up with lightening speed, or so do all parents think of their kids, but we are amazed with our ability to keep up with you, you’ve taught us that!

With you our world feels complete, I never knew this side of life and would have never known without you darling…you make us feel special in every which way… the moment you utter those words “aai”, “mamma” and “baba”, we melt every single time, trust me!

You know before you, “melting” was just a phrase for me but now I know the real meaning of it because now I can feel it… just what it means to “melt” !!!!!

Mella genu baba, monkey, princess, tuktuk, gugu doll, gabui, ….heheheeh I know I keep calling you with all the possible funny names, but what to do, mamma’s emotions get out of control 🙂 🙂

You’re 2 and this all is 2 good for us 🙂 Carry On darling daughter…just carry on with you nautanki, your cuteness and naughtiness !!!!

Tight Hugs,

Aai!

 

 

 

Dear Chirpy-I feel more n more like a mother…

My Dear Daughter Chirpy! Time is literally running out of my hands… sometimes I feel like a dying person who wants to bring back time, hold it for a while, pause…just anyhow get a chance to relive the moments that are passing by… I think that’s what being a mother parent is!

You are growing up very fast! I know that’s a cliche and the time runs at its own speed, but for a growing child’s mother, the time has to be blamed to run faster!

All this while, right from your presence in my womb till the day you were handed to me as a tiny little bundle; the journey from ‘mother to be’ to actually being a mother has been fascinating, in every which way! But when today I look back, I notice one thing- the feeling of being a mother has become stronger with time.

The more time elapses, the more I feel a mother to you! Does motherhood come slowly? Like step by step? Or is it only with me? 🙂

Everyday when I come back from office, I look forward to you tugging at me and wanting me to pick you up instantly. While at work in the day, I quiet often remember your face and your words and a broad smile comes to my face and sometimes even a big laugh too 🙂

I thought for a moment-maybe this is because of the 8-9 hours separation that I go through but then thinking deeply I realized that no it is just the time. With you turning 2, I’ll also complete my 2 years of motherhood and step into the third year, isn’t that growing up?

As compared to earlier times, I’ve become much more touchy in your regards, attentive, careful and attached. The love is growing, the bond is strengthening and you are teaching me all this-to be a complete mother!

I’ve to thank you my darling, for making me what I’m today! Life is certainly prettier with you in it! I love you, love you the most ! I feel more n more like a mother these days……

Let us grow together,

Tight Hugs,

Yours Aai!

 

Dear Chirpy-Going 2 B 2

Dearest Daughter of mine, Hi from Aai here after a long long time 🙂 Time is running crazy in our lives but we manage to get hold of each other for those tiny bites and giggles and cuddles and hugs.

I’ve come to notice that you don’t like being around too much with anyone. Gives me strength to go to work every day. When we are home you love playing with us but for a finite time and then you very strictly tell us “ata baash” [now enough in Marathi].

Talking about your reading mania..yes yes it is the same me who wanted you to love books and today calling it as a mania! I told few of my friends sometime back that ‘I sure wanted a book lover child but not such an ardent lover who wakes us up to read books in the middle of the night!’ Sigh,what they say is right, you must watch your thoughts while wishing for anything 🙂

Jokes apart, your library is growing with each passing month. You can now identify characters like Bruno [Boono] , Noddy , Cinderella [Ceeyaya] and Bobo  the monkey! It is really really funny to see you imitate what each character is shown doing in the book, so be it Noddy sitting with both his palms on his cheeks or Bobo sitting on the rock rubbing his eyes crying, or the Cinderella dancing with the prince in the party or Bruno reaching out for the cookies jar standing on the stool 🙂

A picture recently taken at Crossword:

Your browsing books with Daddy
You browsing books with Daddy

Chirpy, you are the love of my life! I’d never love anyone else like this…I wonder if I’ll do this to my second baby too or no…far fetched thoughts but these come to my mind often when I look at you. Like every mother I’m protective of you, I want you to be independent, I want you to watch your steps while you walk, I want you to read, I want you to be a good human being and I want to capture your childhood in my heart, forever and ever and ever to stay with me till I die!

Children do this to parents. They change and so have we! Both your baba and I are a changed human beings almost 2 years from your birth now….whoa 2 years???? You’ll soon turn 2 darling, can you believe it? I sure for one cannot!

Even today I look at your old pictures…your baby pictures from the day one and I cry… I’m overwhelmed with the miracle called motherhood! I don’t know if you will understand all of it sometime when you will read this, maybe not. But we’ll recap all these letters when you are a mother to a little munchkin yourself 🙂 aww… see your silly mom can think of such a far away future 😛

You’ve started talking everything. You know how to join 2 words and make short sentences. Going by this rate I’m sure in a months time you’ll be able to make sentences with more than 2 words. I’m waiting, eagerly waiting for you to talk to me non-stop. Like I’ve heard from other mothers that once the button is switched on the battery never goes off ; ) I want to reach there, yes I really want to 🙂

So come to me and ask questions, tell me your answers, let’s discuss things and argue on few and agree on the rest ! Let’s just have our girlie time of our lives and love each other every moment more so ! Baba sometimes gets jealous of me cause he can sense that there is a special relationship between you and me, with unspoken words we share so much! When you are really crazy it is only me who can calm you down but wait a minute there are other times when you only prefer baba to me! I too feel jealous of him! Ha, see what I meant by changed human beings? Exactly this 🙂 🙂

My-soon-to-be-2 girl, you know how much mamma loves you right? Yesh yesh I know on being asked this question you instantly spread both your hands to show thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much 🙂 and I love you for that sweetheart 🙂

to my chocopie, with all my love,

Aai!

Dear Chirpy-Just so you know

Dear Chirpy,

Last year when I was pregnant with you, me and your baba dived into a sea of information on pregnancy, parenting and all such hi-fi stuff that is available everywhere.We read, read and read it all. We discussed with fellow parents, friends and family. And felt that we were quiet equipped to bring you in this world. Let me tell you here Chirpy, that no amount of knowledge in not enough to make the new expecting parents adept to handle what’s in stored.Surprisingly,It’s always going to be a surprise!

This is like an exercise that you’ve to do to know how many muscles and strength does it take to bend you body like that. So, the naive parents-to-be that we were at that time, we thought we knew quiet a lot about you and what all is happening inside mamma’s tummy.

By god’s grace, all 8 months went safe and sound. But,on the very onset of the 9th month things started to look a little unusual. Your heart beat showed fluctuations and it seemed that mamma’s system was beginning to slow down the process of pumping blood to your system that also becomes your source of oxygen. We were terrified by the sonologist’s report but the doctor still kept her calm. She informed us that as long as your heart beat is not dipping as low as *some number* we can wait and watch-just that I had to undergo a daily Cardiotocography test to ensure your heart beat is okay and keep a track of my uterine contractions.

So the exercise from home to hospital to home started on daily basis and needless to mention we were tensed. After all we wanted you to be fine. While all this was going on,after a weeks time I started bleeding  and showed sign of dilation. The doctor asked me to get admitted so that she can monitor me 24&7 and that’s how things got into action. We picked up the packed bag, files, documents, prayed to god and started our journey to the hospital. I’ve to tell you baby, I was very scared at that moment and the feelings were mixed with the curiousness of seeing you in maybe just few hours form then. Your baba, dadi, nani went with me to the hospital,all prepared and praying!

On completing the formalities,your baba was constantly by my side and we were waiting for the next action-read your arrival or signs of it. I was expected to go in labor and in labor I went. Let me tell you honestly,Chirpy,it was hard, it was tough and it was long. I was tired. We waited for the entire day and the entire night for you to descend and me to dilate enough to make space for you. Ironically, I was so tired by that time that around 4 am,the next morning,I slept and that was kind of a fallout of our team work. I was woken up by a sudden rush of rapid stream between my legs and I realized my water broke. This was at 6 am. Theoretically, it’s still okay to wait cause the uterus keeps remaking enough water for the fetus to survive. And the same was told to us by our doctor. We decided to wait for some more time. The internal check-up though showed a different and not so positive picture. Your head was big and my cervix could possibly not make that much space for you to come out. You might get stuck up at any point during the vaginal delivery. Also, the dilation was just about 6 centimeters where in it requires 10 centimeters for a female to dilate to deliver.

By 9 am I was crazily shouting my lungs out and was totally frustrated. I was just in no position to know what’s happening around and what would happen next. All I remember is, I was in terrible pain. I don’t know if terrible suffices that state! Practically it was 24 hours that I was in labor and there was nothing concrete happening. We all finally decided to opt for C-section though our doctor said we still have couple of hours to see if I can delivery vaginally. But your baba and me were firm and had made up our minds. We wanted a C-sec delivery.

The decision was made, papers signed and I was taken into the OT. After going inside it was just about 15 mins that you came into this world, all safe and sound and crying, of course 🙂 I never felt this happy and crazy 😉 I remember, when the nurse brought you to my left side to show me your tiny little crying face, I questioned in surprise is this my baby?” to which the nurse shouted at me saying “of course who else silly” !!!!

So today, while writing this,I can say all went well. You were fine and delivered in one piece and I’m fine too. No issues in my body or my spine or my memory or my motherly feelings,thankfully! *pun intended*

A lot of people who called to congratulate us and also the ones who visited ,eventually asked us this one question in different ways “What C-section? You could not deliver normally? Ohhhh!” followed by a subtle tsk tsk!

Of course I felt outraged. Your dadi and nani gave such people explanations as to why we had to choose C-section over “normal” delivery, maybe because even they felt a little unhappy? But me and your baba told them that they need not explain anything to anyone. People call and visit us to congratulate and bless the baby,so their business ends there!

The reason why I’m writing all this to you today,Chirpy,is because I came across AT’s post about choosing to deliver via C-sec,second time and then my own experience re-winded in my memory.

I never wanted to or felt like giving any kind of explanation to anyone, but I wrote this letter to you for I thought what if tomorrow you have certain questions on why I chose to birth you via c-section?  So my darling, just so you know, I’m the mother within and nothing can change that because you were not delivered vaginally.

I feel no less a mother having delivered you via operation. I went through a lot of pain before the operation, I underwent the knife in order to bring you to this world and a little discomfort post delivery. No, I’m not trying to list down how brave or giving I’m. I’m telling you that even delivering via operation is not easy for the mothers. It hurts and it takes toll on lot of mothers. Not every operation is complication free and not every mother lives a side-effects free life post delivery. So a mother who delivers goes through a lot-be it c-sec or vaginal and hence it is called a re-birth of the woman!

I want you to understand Chirpy, that being pregnant, carrying the baby inside for 9 months and delivering is no mean feet. It’s a tough task and a responsibility a woman bears to bring her bundle/s of joy in this world. No mother would ever want her child to go through any kind of trauma while birthing but would want her child to come safe and healthy to this world.We must respect that.

P.S. The term ‘normal’ is not a right word at all cause there is nothing abnormal about c-sec delivery. So it’s either vaginal or Cesarean section delivery!

I’m sure you understand now,don’t you?

Hugs and loads of love to you my baby,

Yours Aai!

Dear Chirpy-On turning 1

Dear Chirpy,

I’m writing this letter a little late, no excuses just didn’t get peaceful time to pen down things,hence. Any way, couple of months back you turned one and thus our journey of growing up together crossed an year’s mark. 365 days of we being together, you being my daughter and me being your mother. You’ve no idea what does that mean to me…a mother of a cute little munchkin is something inexpressible, or at least your mamma doesn’t know how to.

You know Chirpy, you’ve taught me so much already. Being a mother is not something that is taught to us women in advance. No book, no Internet site or no Aunt can teach a women ‘how to be a mother’ neither there is any particular formula to be one. It comes to a woman naturally with the child coming in.

With you coming in my life I’ve learnt to be a different human being-more relaxed, sensible, composed, giving and especially letting go types. Not that these changes were what I always wanted in me and couldn’t make them, but these changes happening to me has made me look at myself with a different perspective. I know I’ve changed and I owe it to you cause I’m happy with this new me 🙂

Okay before we move ahead, I’ve to honestly admit here that initial couple of months when you were handed over to me after the ‘delivery’, I was dumbfounded and confused and irritated. For a number of times I didn’t know what to do with you. I didn’t feel connected to you in the real sense-like you know the mother-daughter sense. I mean of course I cared for you and loved you and I cried at the drop of the hat if you went through some trouble but then the ‘connection’ was not there. I felt terrible for that. I felt guilty. I wanted that phase to go away. But it was there, stayed with me and stressed me. Your daddy was a handy support and he did help me to come out of the guilt, wipe away the fog of confusion and helped me gel well with you.

And when today I look at you I know I’m deeply connected to you. I don’t know if you will understand all this or no. May be not, may be you’ll understand it when you become a mother, or may be you’ll never understand this-it’s okay if you don’t but never forget that I’m just being plain honest with you and it happens in life. I never for a moment disliked you or something!

Okay let’s move on to some funny things now 🙂 Past 2 weeks have been funnily tiring for me,you ask why? Oh, just because my little princess has decided to take up her walking expeditions so seriously that she doesn’t stop when she is awake!! Baby, you roam around the house so much so that now I’ve hopes that I might be able to loose , at least some,kilos of that unwanted fat 🙂

You can speak your daddy’s name now and more often you call him by that only 😉 Hmmm!!! And for mamma? Oh dear, you are being so biased towards Daddy that you’ve kind of completely ignored mamma 😦 sob sob! Now would you please turn your attention towards mamma too,please?

As I’ve already mentioned, you love dancing. I mean you can dance at any music which is playing in the vicinity-slow,hip-hop,instrumental,sad songs anything! You’ve that thing for dancing and once more I take pride in saying that ‘Beti bilkul Maa par gayi hai’ 😉 Hehehe.. your daddy and I keep a score of whom are you taking after majorly, and right now mamma is winning, YAY 🙂

Overall, I think we are doing good and the coming year too looks okay to me ,as of now, cause there are lot of mamma’s friends who keep scaring her of children showing signs of ‘terrible twos’ way before the time and all that stuff. But I’m gearing up and making myself ready for that too, oh I mean I’m ‘trying’ to but you know Chirpy there is nothing called ‘being prepared’ in this parenting business,yeah I’m telling you!

You know last week I skimmed through lot of your old clothes to be given away to the needy as well as to your cousin who is on the way in few months 🙂 Although I’m glad your clothes would be of great use to the new babies, part of my heart broke into tiny pieces 😦 Oye what? Don’t call me senti  like your daddy does,okay? I’m a MOM and I’m allowed to be like that,period! You don’t know that I can feel you in those clothes,even today! You have no idea what I feel when I hold your red and white dolphins romper close to my cheeks…..wait, let’s not talk about this anymore,sob!

Chirpy, you are one and we had so much fun. Oh how can I forget to mention that the party went well and throughout the party you were all the while smiling and playful. Also, you literally asked people to hand over the colorful packed boxes,they were carrying,to you the moment you saw them entering the hall.How shameless 😉 Thankfully you didn’t cry on being passed from person to person numerous times. Our good luck that you yourself enjoyed the party so well that we attended the guests properly, in fact most of the times when someone asked where would you be right now I had to really look around for you and then direct people saying there she is with so and so….one thing is for sure-you enjoy being pampered, you enjoy being gifted and you enjoy being with people! Another trait taken from me 😉 Daddy are you counting? 😛

Babes, there are so many things that are waiting for us. So much to do in life together. I’m waiting for ‘that’ time of future with skipping a beat in between while looking back at you as a baby…..stop giving me that ‘offo’ look cause I’m a mother and I will always want you to grow up as well as stay a baby 😀

With all my love,

Yours Aai!