Dear Sibby-Your Kiss-y Mother

Dear Sibby,

Hope you are doing good,in this world of ours! Have we been too clingy to you?Too sticky? Cause I feel so 😉 not that I regret it or will stop kissing you time and again! I know we, especially I, keep hovering around you, kissing you and cuddling you all the time. I so love that feeling, your baby smell, your soft skin against my cheeks, I just love holding you! Even Chirpy is so fond of you, she has a fixed routine-the moment she wakes up in the morning, she’ll come and kiss you, back from school, she’ll kiss you, going to play in the evening, will kiss you, coming home from outside, certainly will kiss you.. haha, she is really really fond of you! And your Dadda? Don’t even get me started here. He’s softer than me at heart when it comes to his kids. He can’t be strict to either of you, he can’t say no and he can’t lay down rules for you both! Sigh, all the tough part is to be played by me, you getting my point?

Sibby, its been 15 months since you’ve come in to our lives. I’ve felt so special, yet again. They say mothering each child is a different experience in itself and I so agree with this. I’ll be honest, as always, I feel closer to you, much connected with you as compared to what I felt at the first time. Your Didu and I share a strong bond, she is growing up to be an assertive girl having her own mind and thoughts but my bond with you is a little different than that, I feel so! Something between us is different, is special and I’m overwhelmed by it all!

But now that you are growing up I miss how you loved sleeping on my chest. You felt cozy and I felt warm! You insisted that at least once in the day I let you sleep on me, and then I should not put you down, at all! You know what, even I dislike that 😉 when you sleep on me I fall asleep myself. We are a sight to watch, your Deda tells me! There were several nights when we’ve slept just like that for hours and hours and I never felt tired!

You struggle to get out of my tug now, you know if I get hold of you, I’ll squeeze you too much, you’ve understood the show of my love and you act smart now! But the first thing in the morning you do is, look at my face and give a big broad smile, every morning, without fail! All these little somethings are going to remain in my memory forever, you might grow up and forget these, for me these are my treasures!

You are my sunshine, my lifeline. I have given you so many names, sometimes I also forget what I called you yesterday, but you my cutie pie, you just respond to every name that I pronounce, you turn your head upon listening to my voice, but the next moment you just shake your head in a deep NO and run away 🙂 Hahahaha as if you understand that I’m going to catch you and squeeze you 😛  This is our game, you love it and i yearn for it 🙂

I know I’ve not written you much but I’ll make up for it, I’ll write to you because more than you its for me. When you and your didi fly away from our nest, its for us to sit and read these letters which will be like throwbacks !

Love you meri jaan,

Yours Aai

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Dear Sibby-Honest Confession

Dear Sibby,

Since the time of your birth I’ve been wanting to tell you this-the thoughts that time and again come to my mind,sometimes even today. Before I start, I want you to know that I’m being truly honest here with you. I don’t feel the need to modify my feelings and present them because between you and me, we don’t need to pretend or please, right?

When I was pregnant with you, I was very frequently questioned as to what do I wish to have-a girl or a boy? This curiosity is especially over grown in people’s mind for the second babies. Since I had Chirpy, a girl, people wanted to hear me saying “I want a boy”. According to them it made sense, for me to wish to have a boy when I already had a daughter. I don’t blame them, that’s what the minds are conditioned as in the society. Secondly, there was this ghar ka chirag mania also. Who would take our family name ahead etc.

I on other hand, honestly, wished that you’d be a girl, yes, I wanted you to be a girl. I imagined you and Chirpy sharing that sisters bond, that girlie interactions, those silly fights for dresses and accessories, discussing boy friends and careers, making choices and taking stands for each other, being best girl friends. Not that now you being a boy, would not bond well with Chirpy, you would I know but same gender, especially with girls it is a bit different, a little more special.

I felt this way maybe because I never had a sister? Maybe because I’ve seen such sister siblings that are fire on the house? Or simply because I deeply wished to have daughters! Your Deda on the other hand was sure he wanted a boy, to have best of both worlds, to strike a balance. He thought having two girls or two boys is a little imbalanced. So he wanted one of each, simple logic that, no?

That said, you would know that I’m glad that I had you, a boy. I’m in love with you exactly the way I would have loved a daughter. Nothing has changed, my love is not gender dependent, a mother’s love is not at all anything dependent. It is just love, pure love for her children. And hence you are the apple of my eye, my hero, my jigar ka tukda! I love you Sibby. You and Chirpy complete me, you my children paint my life with your love and I’m so loving this colourful life.

Yours,

Mamma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Sibby-The First Letter

Dear Sibby,

Hello sweetheart 🙂 This is the first letter of a long series of letters that I’m going to write to you time to time. There are so many things I can keep talking to you, in my head, and then some of them make way here, in these letters and some remain in my heart, forever. Which I hope someday I’ll be able to recite to you, as is 🙂

Its been a month’s journey together, well, not exactly. To put it together, we’ve been together for almost 10 months now! So, a month’s journey face to face, let’s put it that way. It has been lovely, pensive, panic-ky, wondrous, funny and soothing. All in one go. You’ve been a peaceful and silent baby so far. All you want us to ensure is you are provided the milk timely, your poop and pee are cleaned at the very instant that you finish the task and you are left in profuse silence when asleep. How simple is that, no?Well, yeah! So far so good, we’ve been bonding well, I can safely say that and I get a feeling that you’re going to be a mamma’s boy like literally. Lot of people, actually make that all of them, say that you are on me, every inch. Though your Deda keeps finding traces of himself in you like the other day he said “you know I think his eyes are exactly like mine, you see the color, here? See!” Some or the other way he tries to find the resemblance and score a pointer to this his side, but all in vain 😉 He is very selfish that ways. As if Chirpy being totally like him is not enough for him to boast!!

You sleep most of the times, I mean that’s what you should be doing. Your carefree expressions while you are asleep are to die for! While you are awake, few hours of the day, you stare into silence. Somewhere in distance as if you are deep in your thoughts and one must not disturb you, at all. Oh, and when your Didu is around, you both click like kumbh ke bichade huye bhai behen. Seriously, how? I wonder. You guys connect so well, touch wood! There is something that Chirpy speaks with you and you instantly react cheerily as if you want to jump with joy. You feel happy in her presence and you follow her with your eyes as much as you can. She feels equally excited to talk to you, to touch you and kiss you. She wants to do everything for you right from cleaning your potty to changing your clothes to putting you to sleep. She sure loves you a lot Sibby, a lot ! 🙂

I feel all mushy seeing you two chat in your own language. And not only me, your Deda’s heart melts too. He feels so so contended to see you both that he turns to me and says a silent “thank you” 🙂 I love this moment, all four of us in the same moment, feeling happy and contended for our own reasons 🙂

Dear Sibby, welcome to the world. You are new here and there is a lot of you’ve got to see and understand. There are going to be good times, exciting times and then there will be some dull moments too in life, but that’s okay. As long as we have each other, things will get better when they are not, together we can cross all the hurdles, the power of family, togetherness is immense.

Stay happy, healthy and grow well dear baby. Mamma will try to write as many letters as she can, recording your moments, for herself and for you too to look back, in future 🙂

Let’s begin our journey 🙂

Yours Mamma.