Lessons Learnt in Life! Looking Back-7

My life has not been easy. I’ve seen a lot in my life and it has been a tough journey for a long time, in the mid years when I was naive and vulnerable. So much so that I wasn’t even aware if I was walking the right path or not. If I was taking right decisions and if I was led by right people, well, on people, maybe I had right people with me but I wasn’t completely sure if the solutions they provided or the paths they chose for me were perfectly right. But I went with the flow and tried to sail hard in crests and troughs of my tough life.

Now when I look back, about 15 years back, I feel nothing for that time. I feel no pain, no ache or no shame either. I don’t feel shy in mentioning or admitting that I had a tough time. Is it because I passed with flying colours? Or is it because I’ve matured in a manner that all that doesn’t matter to me any more? Or maybe because the people who kept going with me in my bad times, the people that I’ve today in my life, knowing everything about me, stand strongest for me, till date?

Whatever the reason, some part of the credit I give to myself. I feel proud to have come out through it all untouched or unblemished. My character, my conscience, my thoughts and my whole being remained the same pure thing that I was made in my childhood. I still follow the values instilled in me and I’ve never deterred from being honest, truthful and just. There’s a lot that I learnt from that long episode of my life, the major part of my teenage life that dawned upon me at the time when I needed most pampering, shouldering and guidance. But since I was chosen to bear the brunt, I took that up as a challenge. I faced it with courage, which by the way I’m not sure came from where, and I was determined to be happy, whatsoever. The first and foremost lesson that I learnt then was “no one has the power to make me unhappy, but me”  And till date I believe in it. That said, it doesn’t mean I never feel let down or sad, I do, but the only advantage is I come out of it pretty soon, sooner actually. I  see the other sides, brighter sides and acquire peace of mind to analyse the situation in terms of solving the issue and not just mull over it for hours and days!

Secondly, I learnt that “no person is bad, the situation makes him/her act accordingly“. This doesn’t mean everyone around us is an angel. But yes, some or the other way people are forced to behave in certain manner that they do. The situation that they are in, the emotional baggage they are carrying on their heads and in their hearts and the people they are surrounded with play a major part in what they think and do.

Third and very important lesson that I keep close to my heart is “you should own all your decisions, for which you should make yourself capable enough to take all your decisions” This is for the fact that no one should be so much important for you in life that they become a dictator. People should be able to suggest, guide and help you choose but not do the finalization for you or on your behalf. According to my experiences so far, it becomes easy for everyone to keep life sorted out if the decisions are made and owned by oneself. Then there is no blaming and playing dirty games. No asking why you did that and why you did not tell me this.

Last but not the least, I’ve realized that “relationships are very important in our lives and we must give them due credit. They are not to be taken for granted, they are to be cherished! In any relationship, two people are responsible to make it work, it cannot be alive one sided.” Nothing needs to be explained what I feel about this one fact. Relationships are the essence of our lives, go anywhere, be whatever!

Apart from all the above, I’ve come to realize that their lies a power within yourself. To guide you when you feel low, hold your hand when you need the most and lift you when think the whole world has drowned you out. One has to look within, to find peace and solace, to find traces of strength that already exists, to ruffle carve the needed paths for yourself. One is equipped with all the powers one needs to overcome hurdles in life. Moreover, without hurdles, life ain’t nice and all that, trust me. If there are hurdles, there are breakthroughs. If there are hurdles, there is positivism. If there are hurdles, there is strength. If there are hurdles, there is value of peace!

Today, when I look at myself I feel happy. I feel empowered because I survived the major hurdles in my life that could have crushed me under their unfair weight. I feel it is justified that I’ve a peaceful life now, and that I’ve earned it well. I feel well equipped with the knowledge and skills to educate my children to be strong enough to be able to carry themselves in every situation with grace and pride.

Honestly, in my tough times, I never asked Almighty “why me”. Though I always wondered, “why me? am I so capable to take this all?” Maybe this is what kept me going. And I would pray to God to be there with my, in my thick and thin and guide me when I falter!

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I’m Writing those 30 Letters!

I think this is the best way to come back to blogging… to the world I owe and has so much connection with…

I’m signing up with this 30 days challenge, but to be honest I might not be writing every single day but I shall complete this challenge and would write all these 30 letters, because I want to!

I have this gut feeling that I’m going to experience an emotional tide through this exercise and I think I need that, to take somethings out of my system via words and to relive some memories and precious relationships.. I think this is something I need to do, to look withing the person I’m!

I would want you to be with me, to walk with me through these 30 letters and make them special in every which way!

 

 

Life’s Like That?

Past few weeks I’ve been aching to write some thoughts that came to my mind, just generally. Some related to what was happening and some totally random ones.

I wanted to write in detail about these, to come back to them in future and feel them again, but couldn’t!

“There is a different something in hospital air. You don’t want to breath it, you don’t want to smell.

You watch people in pain, you watch people in tears, you watch people celebrate the recovery of their loved ones.”

There is life born and there is life ended. The entire life span can be seen at one place.

Hospitals are places where you  dread to go, yet these are the places which bring new happiness to you life….”

“Crossing the line: Just when do you know where to draw the line and when not to cross it?”

“Every person has a particular life style and a family type. We need not compare it with our own and let others be! This is where the concept comes in ‘Live n Let Live’… cliched but very true!”

“Too close is too bad!!! Being bestest friends is a cliche, only in movie and books. You are your own best friend!!!”

Does this happen to you? That random thoughts come to mind and you kind of term them as “life’s essence” or ‘learning’ or something like that?

 

Crying For Trivial Reasons: Such A Waste! Looking Back-6

This is from the time when I used to commute between cities while I was in Mumbai. I was travelling in the train and had got the side upper berth.

If you generally know, the travelling rule for the upper berths is that if the journey is in the day time, upper berth passengers are allowed to sit on the lower berths and if they *themselves* want to sleep on their upper berth, in the day time, they are most welcome to do so!

So, in this trip, I got side upper berth and the side lower berth, which are usually allotted to RACs, was under the name of a couple. The journey began at 4 pm. A very much day time when I’m not supposed to climb up the upper berth and go to sleep or whatever!

This couple had lower berth and in top of that a RAC reservation. I was sitting on one side of the side lower berth and both of them were sitting on the rest of the berth. After a while, they wanted to spread their legs, which is natural cause sitting in one position and that too 3 on side berth is not comfortable for anyone.

The conversation thus begun:

Husband: Can you please go to your berth?

Me: But I don’t want to sleep right now.

Husband: So that’s not my problem. This is our seat.

Me: I agree *a part* of this berth belongs to you and that’s why I’m occupying only one part.

Wife: No but because of you we are not comfortable, we need space to sit.

Me: One of you can sit on the other lower berth, which is any way vacant.

Husband: Why the hell should we shift, you must because this is our seat.

Me: Your ticket is RAC, the whole berth is not yours and not even reserved!

Husband: Let me call T.C.!!!!

Me: Please go ahead!

I might have sounded firm and strong in the entire conversation but in reality I was not even a bit of it ! I was terrified, shattered and felt terribly lonely. I would not have argued at all if the couple would have simply said that “can you please shift to other lower berth?”. Which I would have entertained easily but the way they started talking to me and the pitch of their voice, it put me off because I was taking the right stance!

However, after this whole conversation I went to the loo and cried buckets 😦 I can’t stand loud voice, fights, arguments and unpleasant conversations. I’m not a fighters types, I accept that!

What I learnt from the entire episode? This:

If you’ve taken a stance and you believe in it, stick to it!

-There is nothing called high voice/low voice, all that matters is the intention of the person who is speaking to you!

-If you can’t handle things, don’t get into them. And if you get into them, learn handling it all!!!

Looking back, all I feel hurt about is, I cried! Like a kid I cried for nothing and that’s what I feel embarrassed about. I need to become strong, for my own self and for my daughter now. What will I teach her if I cry like this in front of her for tiny things in life? There are so many shitty things that keep happening in life, what about them then?

I mustn’t waste my tears on things like these, there are better things available to shed the tears!!!!

Image Source: Linked to the Pic

 

Read-o-Meter 2012

I had listed these books for reading this year, eventually could only read 13!

I want to thanks to BlogAdda for adding to my reading list, I got few very nice books from via their Book Review Program and I’m looking forward to receive more 🙂

So 2013 dawns upon me with new reading challenge. I don’t know if challenge is the right word to it or maybe challenge is the word I should use because that keeps me on track in terms of reading, given the way I’m pressed for time these days, I can only wish I could read at least 5 books this new year, sigh!!!!

Any way, but this year I’m not making any list of books. I’ll just set a target of 15 books and read them! Hoping to reach to the number by the end of 2013!

What’s up with you?How was your 2012 in terms of reading?

Chillar Party-Looking Back 5

This is about the time when we friends were in high school. We decided that we’ll now go to theaters for watching movie alone-like without parents or any elder-all on our own! Fortunately, our parents agreed,eureka moment that! We chose ‘Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman‘ 🙂 given the SRK mania had just begun to play on our young minds….[thank god it washed away soon after,sowwy SRK fans :P]

So, the story goes like this:

We reach the theater.Check

Stand in the ticket booking line. Check

Ask for three tickets for the said movie.Check

Get inside the theater well in time. Check

Find our seats.Check

The movie starts playing and we are enjoying both-the movie and the fact that only we 3 friends managed on our own to this point.Check

Suddenly there is hooting, whistling, shouting, dancing and spelling some words which sounded Latin. No Check !!!!

Then everything goes silent and people are found sitting in their seats. Check

Again the circus repeats on this song. This time people also threw some chillar at the screen. No Check !!!!!!!

We felt pretty awkward,felt out of place,scared and disliked everything that was happening around.No Check!!!!!

Apparently it turned out that we booked ourselves for the dress circle,or stalls as they popularly ‘were’ called, and not the balcony class in the theater 😛 Our parents had a good laugh though they cautioned us for the next time.

When today I look back at this incident, I feel:

  • We were lucky to have returned safe and non-molested.
  • That such chillar throwing crowd every time is not that bad!
  • We did learn the lesson our own way.
  • Old time theaters had balconies which are no more now 😦
  • How we fell in love with the wrong screen person…pst SRK!
  • How songs even like Kehti Hai Dil Ki Lagi were tagged taboo and adult #comparingwithtodayssongs.
  • The tickets were priced so low!
  • To laugh once again thinking how naive we were 😀

Re-posting: Just want to tell you

*this is an old post..almost 3 years old! Somehow just felt like re-posting it,so here it is!*

Writing and that too regularly is creativity in itself. I think those who write regularly observe something or think and hence share it with the readers OR they write just because they want to. You know what I mean ? 

So today my post is of the second category. I have this urge of writing.Why,you say ? I don’t’ think I have a clue. I have nothing special to share or no wise thought or no funny thing. I’m just wanting to write something….may be because I have changed my blog template..hey,you remember this feeling from yesteryears when we were in school ? With the new session starting and the set of new notebooks coming in with those brown paper covers on them and the smell of the crisp white pages ? Didn’t we get that urge to write in it ? I’m getting the same feeling since now there are no more notebooks and only screens for us to write whatever we want to, except that we write an altered form of chemistry and physics and biology !!! 
 
Sometimes I wonder what if there were no blogs ? What if there was no medium available to reach out to so many people through one post ? You know,be it anything, blog world is in a way a support system for me. I have experienced this time and again..be it my sad moments or the happiest ones. I get that instant feeling of sharing it with my readers..and the moment I publish a post, I really look forward to and anticipate replies and reviews on my posts,like a child,signing into wordpress to check how many have already read the post ! It gives so much pleasure to receive the comments and then the enthusiasm to write back 🙂 It’s all phenomenal. How and when this blogging started..How and when I got hooked have no idea…and now it’s an integral part of my routine !It’s like a bond..with my readers..and with those whom I read regularly…even when I have nothing to write I still log in to the reader to see what other bloggers have written..and It gives a pleasant feeling and a positive energy too !
 
You know someone close to me had recently cracked a joke on my blogging..though he is an avid reader of my blogs…he named me POST-woman ! Stating that earlier people used to mention postman but now we have POST woman !!! 😉 I liked the pun…and it’s really logical 🙂 I post and I’m a woman so I’m a POST-woman 😉
 
There are so many sweet things in life.. living life is one way but loving the life and living it,is another ! One has to learn that art…I don’t know if they teach this at ‘Art of Living’ course..but that’s the way ! 
 
Was chatting with a school friend few minutes back and we just derailed from our work & married-life conversation to the school-college days….and then after all those nostalgic discussions we summarized it in one sentence-‘School and College should never end’.. yeah ! Not that this life is not good..of course it is amazing and fun-filled…but the school days are so adorable ! I keep telling my cousins, who are still into that life, to enjoy their life to the fullest because now is the time…this fun and life will never come back ! Ironically, when you are in school-college you want to quickly get out of it and want to go out in the world..earn and live life that ways ! So no point in me telling my cousins about the importance of the life and time they are into !
 
Bigg Boss-3 is getting cheaper…or at least I’m finding it so.. may be because I was never a ‘Bigg Boss’ show type viewer… I just got hooked for 2 reasons [now that I think] one-Amitabh Bachchan-who is only visible for 2 hours a week and two I have loads of time on my hand ;P !!! Anyways, but that’ s a show and let the Bigg Boss be !! 😉
 
Okay, Just want to tell you that I have launched a new blog…called HAPPY FEETand it is about the holidays we husband-wife are going to take 🙂 Ya it’s a travel log ! Hope that I’ll be able to provide you with good amount of information on the places to see and hotels to stay ! And some nice pictures that I plan to upload with the posts ! So the aim is clear and it excites me totally…Hope that it will be helpful for you and you will enjoy reading my travel experiences and looking at the awesome pictures that I’ll click 🙂 The link has been provided, you can take a look..
 
Time for me take a break from being a POST-woman and get into the skin of a chef 😉 See you guys soon,hopefully with a meaningful post !
 

Moments from Y2K-Looking Back 4

It’s from the time when me and Husby were dating. Both our families weren’t aware of our relationship,of course 😉

On a Sunday I call this guy at his residence [mobile phones were not common at that time and both of us didn’t have any]

The call went on something like this:

Him: Hello?

Me: Hey!!!!!

Him: Hi…

Me: What’s up? What are you doing?

Him: Me..emm..cooking

Me: Really? What?

Him: Idli Sambhar…

Me: Ahh!! Are you serious? You know cooking?

Him: Of course I do,don’t you know this already?

Me: No way! you never mentioned it…naughty you *giggles* but cool han, you know cooking so it’s good for me 😉

Him: And how is that?

Me: Areh, I can be lazy sometimes in future..you know what I mean? *giggles*

Him: *smiles*

Me: So, what all do you know which will let me be lazy,han?

Him: Uhhu…

Me: tell na baby..tell tell…

Him: Well,I can cook for starters…I can clean if I have to…you know!

Me: sho shweet *in total mushy style* I’m so lucky to have you in my life 🙂 YAY *giggles*

Him: *smiles*

Me: Chal any way, tell me what’s today’s plan? Are we meeting in the evening?

Him: Umm..well yeah..where?

Me: Areh where what…the same place no?

Him: okay see you then!

Me: okay sweetie, see you then! wait…

Him: Yes?

Me: Don’t forget to bring the book I gave you the other day,okay?

Him: hmmm

*phones click on both sides*

*after an hour or so he calls me up*

Me: Hello?

Him: Hey!

Me: Hiiii

Him: So what’s up? what are you doing?

Me: *puzzled* me? umm..err..well simply nothing..waiting for clock to strike 5 so then we meet 🙂

Him: 5? Are we even meeting today?

Me: *aiing?*

Him: But you said yesterday that we’ll decide today whether we are meeting or not.

Me: Ya right,but we did decide sometime back that we are meeting ,no?

Him: *aiing?*

Me: What ya? Are you drunk? *irritated*

Him: Oye!

Me: Then what!!!! Stop kidding me now…we just spoke an hour back.

Him: Lady,lady,lady!!! I was sleeping for almost 2 hours and just woke up and now calling you.

Me: Are you serious?

Him: Yes, what’s so unbelievable in this?

Me: Trust me I called you an hour back and we spoke for around 15 mins…how can you be sleeping when I was talking to you?

Him: *silence*

Me: *silence*

Him: Oh fish!!!!

Me: Oh no!!! Really? You think so?

Him: Of course,now it’s pretty obvious!!! Tell me quick what exactly did you speak..I need to know what all did you say on the call ?

It turned out that Husby’s elder brother had picked up the phone and me,the dumb girl,confused his voice with Husby’s and started speaking. On the other hand, brother in law thought that it was a prank call from Radio Mirchi,since they used such stunts in their shows,hence he too carried out the conversation ahead…but then when I mentioned the book, he got a clue that the call was not fake but was a real girlfriend-boyfriend call and the boyfriend was none other than his younger brother 😛

I felt exactly like this“main toh laaj ke maare,ho gayi pani pani,sab logo ne sun li meri prem kahani…mooh se baat nikal gayi,baat baat ma…baat baat ma”… [song courtesy: Morni Baga Ma Bole Aadhi Raat Ma]

This conversation has been written for the oops moment tag,which I got from N Bose on this oops moment post 🙂

While on this,I would also like to share a kind of similar incident,like NB mentioned in her post:

Remember this movie THE GURU ? Me and Husby went to see it in theater. On being seated inside I realized that there were only 4 women in the hall including me! Sigh,if you have watched this movie, you know why I sighed here 😉 But at least it was a relief that there were other three women and grown up auntie types who were in a group with their male partners AND the fact that we were seated just behind them made me really feel okay,if not totally comfortable 🙂

Any way, so moments like these keep taking place in our lives 🙂 and recalling them is one fun thing to do !!!

Thanks NB for reminding me of these moments 🙂 Me and Husby had a good laugh recalling them 🙂

Life’s ups & downs-Looking Back 3

Whenever I’m upset about something,the thing called life,I remember my mother’s words.

She always says “Look below you and then thank god for what you have and then look above you and then ask strength from god to reach there,but never forget the fact that you’re still at a stage where the world has not come to an end,you still have hope and you must cling to it”

I always wonder how philosophical my mother can get but then thinking a little deep I realize that she ain’t wrong either. I must look down and may be then only I’ll realize how lucky I’m to be what I’m.

Past few days I’ve been thinking on these lines. How much can life get bitchy for anyone? Just when do you call it ‘hitting your all time lows’ ? While at it I ‘m reminded of not a very long ago real life story of a couple,who were our neighbors for a long while.

The couple and their only daughter was a perfect family one could think of. Happy, Cheerful and carefree. Their daughter was very special to them,for obvious reasons and for a special reason too. They had 3 sons before this daughter,who died within few days of their birth! And they had this daughter after going through this whole trauma for 10 years. So, of course the daughter was more than cherished.

Few months back the daughter died in a road accident-on the spot,phew! She was 21 years old and was all that the couple had in their life to call a blessing-which now god had asked back from them!

It’s heart breaking,head spinning tale,no? Ironically it is not a fictional one. I wish it could! I can’t even imagine what the couple must have gone through and still going through after loosing their daughter to a dirty word called fate. So technically they had 4 children and today it is just HAD and not have!

Looking at them, I realize I’ve not hit my all time lows, no! I should not dare say that cause I must thank god for being kind to me. Some ups and downs in life? Part of it….?

So, I buckle up, put a smile on my face and then tell myself “All is good”

Life’s ups and downs-Looking Back 3

Whenever I’m upset about something,the thing called life,I remember my mother’s words.

She always says “Look below you and then thank god for what you have and then look above you and then ask strength from god to reach there,but never forget the fact that you’re still at a stage where the world has not come to an end,you still have hope and you must cling to it”

I always wonder how philosophical my mother can get but then thinking a little deep I realize that she ain’t wrong either. I must look down and may be then only I’ll realize how lucky I’m to be what I’m.

Past few days I’ve been thinking on these lines. How much can life get bitchy for anyone? Just when do you call it ‘hitting your all time lows’ ? While at it I ‘m reminded of not a very long ago real life story of a couple,who were our neighbors for a long while.

The couple and their only daughter was a perfect family one could think of. Happy, Cheerful and carefree. Their daughter was very special to them,for obvious reasons and for a special reason too. They had 3 sons before this daughter,who died within few days of their birth! And they had this daughter after going through this whole trauma for 10 years. So, of course the daughter was more than cherished.

Few months back the daughter died in a road accident-on the spot,phew! She was 21 years old and was all that the couple had in their life to call a blessing-which now god had asked back from them!

It’s heart breaking,head spinning tale,no? Ironically it is not a fictional one. I wish it could! I can’t even imagine what the couple must have gone through and still going through after loosing their daughter to a dirty word called fate. So technically they had 4 children and today it is just HAD and not have!

Looking at them, I realize I’ve not hit my all time lows, no! I should not dare say that cause I must thank god for being kind to me. Some ups and downs in life? Part of it….?

So, I buckle up, put a smile on my face and then tell myself “All is good”