New Mum (yet,again!) On the Block Says:

So, this is about the new mum, a second timer, but still a new one because every kid is different and every time it is a new birth! I feel exactly the same, a new me, a newbie at doing things, with a dash of experience though, but I feel with Sibby I’m learning the ABC of mommyhood, right from the start.

I’m enjoying being a mother again, a mother of two! It feels good to have created two cute little humans who are no less dear to you than your life…they are your life!

With Sibby I’ve to admit one thing for sure, breastfeeding came in very easily, to me and to Sibby as well. He latched instantly, he wants me all the time and is so very happy feeding on my milk. Unlike Chirpy, where in breastfeeding was a nightmare, we did not gel well in that duration, she did not latch properly, and it hurt me like hell! I cried, I hated myself for not being able to feed my baby and I felt a little less like a mother because I wasn’t feeding my milk to my baby.. all the breastfeeding trauma that could possibly be caused had taken place then. I figured out, quite later, that I was naive, my baby was just couple of days old and no one gave us proper gyaan about breastfeeding that we should have known as first timers. This time however, I told myself to be determined, to take it easy and to give time to both of us. Maybe that’s what worked. I counselled myself. I gave myself due credit that I’m trying and not giving up. I cuddled my baby and patted him for latching well. Basically, that bond, was created. We became the happy duo, sitting in our own corner and having our own us time.

Honestly, I’ve to realise two things from my own experience:

A) Breastfeeding is a rocket science!

B) Breastfeeding is not a rocket science!

Oh confusing, ain’t it? Let me explain.

A) Rocket science because it takes your patience, hard work, diligence and relaxed mind to bring it all together to feed your baby. It also needs your baby to be in sync with your trials. It takes two to tango, aka breastfeed! So it is a science, that two people, one adult and one tiny little being, have to sync in and practice to master it.

B) It is not a rocket science because its not a big deal. It can’t be taught, it has to be practised. It has to be given time and to each his own. We should not give it more than required importance so much so that new mothers are bogged down by the trauma of not being able to feed their new babies. It is to be enjoyed, to be cherished and not be marked taboo and create fears in mothers’ minds. So don’t give it a status of rocket science where in it start looking difficult or impossible.

Breastfeeding is a boon, if you can do it, well and good. If you for some reasons cannot do it, doesn’t matter. Don’t feel sad about it. It is okay to give your baby top-feed. It is okay to make enough milk because every body is different. Don’t look down upon yourself. You are a mother in several other ways and breastfeeding is not the only yardstick to prove that you are a mum. You bore that child for 9 months in your tummy and that’s a bigger task than any other, I think!

Enjoy motherhood 🙂

Ahoy!!!

Yes I’m back at this space, can I live without this or working or anything that brings me sanity? No way! I know there are rules to be followed for at least first 40 days of delivering a baby and I somewhat know the significance too of complete shut out and all that. But what I also know is without these things, blogging, working and thinking logically, I can’t survive. I can’t remain sane! I’m hard wired that ways and it may cause some damage to my body, physically, maybe, but can’t help. So what I’m trying to do is, read a little, work a little and now Blog a little only to balance things out.

So anyway, the main news here is this, below!

Both of us are fine, I’m recovering and recuperating from the delivery episode, not that it was dramatic, but its an episode in itself, the ones who have delivered will agree with me.

It feels different to be a mother of two. It feels like a new role altogether, which I had anticipated but now that it is really happening, I’m a little confused at times 🙂 Natural, I guess!

Little Chirpy is behaving like a good girl, as expected and as she had planned to be a good Didu to her little sibling! It is an amazing view to watch them sleep side by side. Sometimes I think to myself, “wow, I made these two?” This whole pregnancy thing is a miracle, God has created a magic!

So for the blog world, we will call Chirpy’s little sibling as SIBBY 🙂

Welcome him and bless him with all your love, like you do to Chirpy! Now the new phase of life begins and let’s hope I’m able to record all the anecdotes here for me and Husby to read laters when our birds would fly away to their destinations 🙂

The Mommy-ness in me

…has awakened!

I never thought or believed that I am the typical mom types. You know the ones who are tirelessly mothers to their kids 24*7, always ready to do whatsoever it takes to run around the clock to provide stuff for their children, to be available whenever the kids utter m of mamma, and never ever missing the ‘me time’ or so, you get the drift?

Well, not that I’ve become all this now. I’m still the same person, with fixed required me time for reading, sleeping and meeting friends. That said, I don’t love my baby any less and that’s evident, no really! But what I’m talking about here is, the emotions part. The emotional motherly person that I thought I had never be, I’ve become that or I’ve discovered that self in me.

Today is Chirpy’s first day of new session. She is now a big girl, so she says (these kids will never realize, they’ll never grow big for their parents!) I went in to drop her at school, and she as usual, her confident-independent types, started walking towards the entrance without giving a back glance at the waiting mother outside the laxman rekha aka the gate which separates the children from their parents, the gate where emotions break out, sometimes from the child’s side, sometimes from the parents’ side and other times from the both sides! So I followed her inside the gate, trying my luck if they let me go in for just few seconds with my child, and they did, voila! Ya, ya, I could see the wicked look on teachers’ faces saying aaj pehla din hai isiliye you are allowed, otherwise this laxman rekha is not to be crossed, samjhi tum? But this small lady, didn’t budge and wait, she must have thought this is the routine drill, what’s there for mom to come with me inside? Anyhoo, I thought today being the new session, teachers changed, classmates shuffled, my little girl must be feeling nervous! Sigh, to my surprise (well not actually, I should know what my daughter is like, by now!) she was sure she didn’t want me inside, not that she objected me being there. I stood there for a moment with her, they were made to wait, form a sitting line until all students coming in, section wise. I chatted with her teacher for a while, just to be present there, you know! But then everything was done, and I was standing there silent, and my lady? Ah, she was watching the other children who were crying and not wanting to let their parents go and all that stuff. That moment, that very moment I felt the pang hit me. I had a lump in my throat, I thought I would cry if I stood there for another 5 mins. Because I was emotional about leaving my daughter there on her first day of school, ha, ain’t it all a little funny? The mother feeling emotional, the only one feeling emotional that is? Funny as in, how some children just get used to the drill of life so easily? Nothing bad in it, not that I want her to cling to me and cry but then… but then what do I want really? I think this is what is called being a mother, is it?

Anyway, so I came home, sighed for sometime, thought about her, prayed to god for letting her be okay and enjoy her day and started on with my work, writing this post that is! This blog writing is such a relief I’m telling you, it settles down all my emotions and makes me stable!

So my girl, all of 4 is now in new class, all set to learn new things and soar high! How soon these little buds blossom!!!

Just Some Sweet Nothings…

…which really mean a lot!

^Chirpy is more than caring, acting like a beeg baby already and planning stuff to do in later days from now.

^She understands that she has to behave in a manner that she be called a good elder sister, every act and every thought now circled around this one thing : I’m a big sister and I’ve to be a good example.

^Books, Toys and now even clothes are categorically being sorted and kept aside for later use.

^The wait is long, she knows but she is patient, careful and helpful in my journey!

^She has a routine, which has not broken as yet, to start the day by wishing good morning and go on until she says good night to her younger sibling, she does it religiously, with so much passion and love!

^I feel emotional, teary eyed and thankful to the almighty for letting me experience these sweet nothings that life is offering to me, and I’m glad I’m able to hold these all and save in my heart!

Dear Chirpy, you are the first love of my life and you shall always be, no matter what, no matter who! You’re going to be the same to me, months and years later from now. I’ve loved you with my heart, and that love is reserved for you! You’ve a special place carved in my heart, which belongs only to you, and no one can reach there, trust me! Everything that you do and say , every little thing that you did first, is right here, etched in my mind, to never forget ! You are always going to be my first… nothing can change that my love!

Yours Mamma!

Simple Questions

Children are so cute, innocent and have such simple queries running in their minds. I really believe that we adults make our lives complicated when we grow up. All our innocence goes out of the window.

Today Chirpy asked us: “Why my bathing towel is printed with baby things and yours are plain in colour?”

This made me think, kids think so much but differently. Their questions are so simple and cute in nature. Sometimes they do leave us speechless but mostly they give us a direction to think and perspective to ponder upon.

Kids I tell you 🙂

 

Finding Chirpy

Today when I went to pick Chirpy at 11.30, I was afraid, scared and my heart beat faster than I had ever imagined. Chirpy was not to be seen in the line of students children at the gate! *gasp*

I checked with the teacher who was manning the line, she was confused too to not spot Chirpy in the line. I felt angry, why the teacher does not know about her students’ whereabouts? That too a little girl…grrrrrr

So the hustle bustle was set, two teachers ran in two directions to find my daughter. I felt lost and speechless too. I also went in one direction around the school campus… didn’t know where exactly should I look for! My mind raced through several action points.Call her dad. Call police station.Shout at the principal left right & centre. Call my parents and sob. Oh, call office and inform I’m not coming, for don’t know how many days. Call.Call.Call. Oh God, where is Chirpy!

All these action points almost got acted upon in my thoughts in those 2 mins! Then lord Ganesha showered his blessings on my boss, chirpy’s grandparents, her dad, her teachers and the principal…….Chirpy was found !!!!!!

Madam Moselle was dancing, as if there was no tomorrow, on the first floor with the K.G. kids, Lo!!!! And poor teachers, went crazy finding her… although it was their fault too at the first place, to not know where the child was! They have to have an hawk’s eye on all children, right?

And secondly, my brat is a brat only, I know. So I told her too that she is not supposed to go here and there without asking / at least telling her teacher. That’s a good practice good kids follow, to be safe 🙂 I hope she’ll remember this and will follow…

BTW upon asking her why did she go to the first floor all by her own, Chirpy said ‘I heard music, I wanted to dance, why was I called down? I want to dance more’ !!!!!!

I thought I had to wait for a couple of weeks or a months’ time to start writing ‘these’ type of posts here about Chirpy’s adventures at ‘big’ school, but boy! I was underestimating my girl! Today was the 3rd day in school and she has started her naughty acts already.

P.S. By the way did you also notice the mother in me is the same mother in you too? 🙂 the same racing of thoughts, the same tension, the same fast forward movie in those 2 mins? 🙂 🙂 🙂 Mothers!!!!!!!!!

 

Dear Chirpy-Teen Ka Tadka

Dear Chirpy,

Yet another phase of your life has begun. You’ve entered the ‘new’ school, ‘big’ school. The play group days are over. On your last day at your play group, I felt so emotional. I felt would miss coming here every morning, seeing all the little children playing in the garden, sliding over and swinging high, crying for their mothers and carrying the little gifts proudly. I would miss meeting your teachers and talking to them about your progress and dadagiri , yeah quite literally!

But you didn’t show any sign of missing your old school. Not that I was not expecting this, I was very much sure that you would not look back because you were to excited to look forward to your new ‘big’ school that you’d be telling everyone you met about. Also, I think you are too small to understand even the feeling of ‘missing’ something or leaving something behind. It is only me that got all worked up and became all sentimental. Mothers!

Your new school: First day: I was a little skeptical and all that of the washrooms, the play area and the classes… in fact everything of it all! And you, my angelic warrior you simply got hold of your bag from me, gave me a flying kiss and marched past everyone to your class… by the way did you even know which class you had to go in? Hahaha, you just walked in. There were couple of children crying out loud in your class having left alone with the teachers… you sat in your chair in the class, looking around amused, giving a kind of expression that said ‘why are these crying, can someone please tell me?’

I waited in hiding outside your class thinking what if you too start crying looking at other children? Just in case you know! But madam, you were sitting right there with the same expression on your face, why is everyone crying,huh! The entire scene was so touchy, for your sensitive mother, that she started crying herself, even when her own child was not crying but just because other children were wailing for their parents 😦

I decided to move out, I walked briskly and got into my car and drove off home!

You know I feel you are way too less emotional but then I think this is good. Not that I want you to be feeling less or something. You do cry your share of tears when it is really needed, you do love with all your innocence and warmth, but you are not touchy, and I think that’s good. You are kind of practical, well, like your father you see!

There is so much you’ve started doing and the long sentences that you keep floating at us, drops my jaws at times. You reason out with us like adults. You are a no nonsense girl who doesn’t want to hear round and round lectures about what not to do or what to do, you simply tell us to cut is short and move on! It surprises us to no bounds, your ability to logically put your argument against ours’ and then most of the time win it since you’re not only logical you are smart enough to turn the bargain into you win we lose, well most of the times 😉

I like the way you call me Mamma. You’ve stopped calling me Aai way back. You made this choice on your own. You just decided that I’ll be called as Mamma! and I never tried to change your choice, whatever you call me, it sounds only sweet! Is the mother in me speaking? oh well!

Just few days back on your 3rd b’day I was telling you how you came into our lives, that morning 3 years back, when you cried and made your entry in this world, smiled at Deda and slept cozily near me. You heard me so intently and you asked me again and again “mamma, how small was I then?” and I told you how fitted in my lap and now you are just growing out of it! You felt amused, to know that you were a baby yourself, you feel that you’ve grown up, like an adult and being a baby is a thing of past, but my darling gabu like the cliched sentiment flows from generation to generation in each family, you’ll always be my baby, no matter how taller or older you grow 🙂

On your 3rd b’day, I wish you 3 things: Intelligence, Kindness and Compassion. May you have all three in you, always!

Yours Emotional

Mamma!!

 

Parenting

If someone was to ask me a synonym of Parenting, I’d say SKILLS!

A skill that sometimes kills but is the perfect pill (medicine) for all problems of us grown-ups!

*A lame attempt at creating pun, I know :P*

Parenting….

^lets you be a child, all over again!

^is a formal way of unlearning and relearning the concepts!

^is deep diving into mush, hugs, kisses and cuddles!

^is an eligibility certificate for enrolling into how-to-be-patient classes.

^a realization of what your parents did all these years to make you what you are today aka knowing the meaning of papad belna (pun intended)

^is a report card of your own self!

^is a relaxing exercise at the end of that tiring day where you are carrying all the weight of the world!

^is smiles, cheer, laughter and more smiles!

^is milestones, charts, vaccinations and growth!

^is re-living your past!

^is pondering… about everything that concerns your child!

^is worrying, a tug in the heart, confusions, conceptual debates, mind boggling experiences and a non-stop roller coaster ride!!!!

 

Dear Chirpy-I feel more n more like a mother…

My Dear Daughter Chirpy! Time is literally running out of my hands… sometimes I feel like a dying person who wants to bring back time, hold it for a while, pause…just anyhow get a chance to relive the moments that are passing by… I think that’s what being a mother parent is!

You are growing up very fast! I know that’s a cliche and the time runs at its own speed, but for a growing child’s mother, the time has to be blamed to run faster!

All this while, right from your presence in my womb till the day you were handed to me as a tiny little bundle; the journey from ‘mother to be’ to actually being a mother has been fascinating, in every which way! But when today I look back, I notice one thing- the feeling of being a mother has become stronger with time.

The more time elapses, the more I feel a mother to you! Does motherhood come slowly? Like step by step? Or is it only with me? 🙂

Everyday when I come back from office, I look forward to you tugging at me and wanting me to pick you up instantly. While at work in the day, I quiet often remember your face and your words and a broad smile comes to my face and sometimes even a big laugh too 🙂

I thought for a moment-maybe this is because of the 8-9 hours separation that I go through but then thinking deeply I realized that no it is just the time. With you turning 2, I’ll also complete my 2 years of motherhood and step into the third year, isn’t that growing up?

As compared to earlier times, I’ve become much more touchy in your regards, attentive, careful and attached. The love is growing, the bond is strengthening and you are teaching me all this-to be a complete mother!

I’ve to thank you my darling, for making me what I’m today! Life is certainly prettier with you in it! I love you, love you the most ! I feel more n more like a mother these days……

Let us grow together,

Tight Hugs,

Yours Aai!

 

Dear Chirpy-Going 2 B 2

Dearest Daughter of mine, Hi from Aai here after a long long time 🙂 Time is running crazy in our lives but we manage to get hold of each other for those tiny bites and giggles and cuddles and hugs.

I’ve come to notice that you don’t like being around too much with anyone. Gives me strength to go to work every day. When we are home you love playing with us but for a finite time and then you very strictly tell us “ata baash” [now enough in Marathi].

Talking about your reading mania..yes yes it is the same me who wanted you to love books and today calling it as a mania! I told few of my friends sometime back that ‘I sure wanted a book lover child but not such an ardent lover who wakes us up to read books in the middle of the night!’ Sigh,what they say is right, you must watch your thoughts while wishing for anything 🙂

Jokes apart, your library is growing with each passing month. You can now identify characters like Bruno [Boono] , Noddy , Cinderella [Ceeyaya] and Bobo  the monkey! It is really really funny to see you imitate what each character is shown doing in the book, so be it Noddy sitting with both his palms on his cheeks or Bobo sitting on the rock rubbing his eyes crying, or the Cinderella dancing with the prince in the party or Bruno reaching out for the cookies jar standing on the stool 🙂

A picture recently taken at Crossword:

Your browsing books with Daddy
You browsing books with Daddy

Chirpy, you are the love of my life! I’d never love anyone else like this…I wonder if I’ll do this to my second baby too or no…far fetched thoughts but these come to my mind often when I look at you. Like every mother I’m protective of you, I want you to be independent, I want you to watch your steps while you walk, I want you to read, I want you to be a good human being and I want to capture your childhood in my heart, forever and ever and ever to stay with me till I die!

Children do this to parents. They change and so have we! Both your baba and I are a changed human beings almost 2 years from your birth now….whoa 2 years???? You’ll soon turn 2 darling, can you believe it? I sure for one cannot!

Even today I look at your old pictures…your baby pictures from the day one and I cry… I’m overwhelmed with the miracle called motherhood! I don’t know if you will understand all of it sometime when you will read this, maybe not. But we’ll recap all these letters when you are a mother to a little munchkin yourself 🙂 aww… see your silly mom can think of such a far away future 😛

You’ve started talking everything. You know how to join 2 words and make short sentences. Going by this rate I’m sure in a months time you’ll be able to make sentences with more than 2 words. I’m waiting, eagerly waiting for you to talk to me non-stop. Like I’ve heard from other mothers that once the button is switched on the battery never goes off ; ) I want to reach there, yes I really want to 🙂

So come to me and ask questions, tell me your answers, let’s discuss things and argue on few and agree on the rest ! Let’s just have our girlie time of our lives and love each other every moment more so ! Baba sometimes gets jealous of me cause he can sense that there is a special relationship between you and me, with unspoken words we share so much! When you are really crazy it is only me who can calm you down but wait a minute there are other times when you only prefer baba to me! I too feel jealous of him! Ha, see what I meant by changed human beings? Exactly this 🙂 🙂

My-soon-to-be-2 girl, you know how much mamma loves you right? Yesh yesh I know on being asked this question you instantly spread both your hands to show thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much 🙂 and I love you for that sweetheart 🙂

to my chocopie, with all my love,

Aai!