Husby was away for 3 nights and 2 days on tour. It is on events like these I realize, every time, how much I want him in my life, all the time. That he is the love of my life! You know if you are really asked to respond to a question “what is love?” I’m not sure if I know the ‘answer’ to it! But such days really tell me that my love for him is deeper than I can ever put in words. Love is something that makes you want to be with that person, care for that person and you always wish good for him/her. I think that’s love! That someone special, with whom you want to spend your life with, and when I say spend life it is not by days and dates, I mean by moments! Even if those are moments of weakness, fights or tribulations. I think spending all your moments with that person makes him/her an integral part of your life and that’s where love takes place. Husby, a person who is pure by heart, strict by principles and reserved by nature, is the closest person I have in my life today. We’ve been through so much in life together, 14 years is not a joke, is it! We have seen each other in our ugly times, our good times and our best times and we’ve stuck to each other till date. They say any marriage that lasts for 10 years is certainly going to run for a lifetime! And this year we’ve reached the 10th mark of our married life. Soon we will celebrate our 10th marriage anniversary, the official 10 years of togetherness. How soon the time flew. I don’t even want to look back, because I can gauge what we did all these years from the today that we have created for ourselves and it is wonderful. With all the ups and downs, it is very beautiful ! I’m an emotional person, to an extent that I can cry at the drop of an hat, and it is not about feeling close to someone, it is in the case of even watching movies or listening to someone else’s story or even reading stories. I can cry easily. But on the contrary, I’m a tough and practical person in my core. Now I can’t explain that, only I know that I’m this person! I’m whimsical, random and moody. But one thing is for sure, I’m good at heart. I can never wish anyone ill or I can’t hurt anyone and I feel proud of this particular characteristic of mine. But the randomness, the instability and the moody me, Husby has taken it all. He has given me that comfort of letting me be me, he brought stability in my life and he never tried to change me, whatsoever, he never told me to not do or do certain things. I think this is what is love for him? To love me the way I’m? To let me be the person I’ve been all this while? Well, anyway, this is not about what is love. I just wanted to record here, for my own sake, for reading in future, that how I miss him when he is not around. How much I realize the love is getting deeper by the year, how much he is needed in my life for everything! I can’t imagine a life without his companionship, his love and his whole being!
No there is nothing ’11 o’ clock’ in the picture but there is a time related to this picture… Sometime couple of weeks back I got very late in the office and Husby had to pick me up…so it was around 11.00 pm while on way home that we stopped at this Idli Hut and had hot yummy idlis 🙂
It was no less than an impromptu love date 😉 So!!!
Recently we reached the 7 year mark of wedded bliss or marriage in simpler terms. 7 years,han? Sounds long and not that long too. We have been through so many things in these 7 years,at the end of which I can say these 7 things to you:
- I won’t say you’re the best husband in the world [well that would sound cheesy] but I’m sure you are the best for me!
- I’m sure you are going to be the perfect father,I always visualized for my children.
- You forget a lot and it irritates me to no bounds but then I know nothing comes perfect in life,not even me!
- You are an introvert and not as expressive as I had like you to be but then I know how much you love me and that melts me inside out.
- You trust me blindly,not that you must not,but the fact that you do,makes me feel special.
- You are my anchor which has brought stability in my life.No this is not any cliched statement copied from some book/movie,it is the fact of my life.
- My family loves you and they keep telling me how lucky I’m to have you as a life partner-they also say things like ‘only if we could clone him for your other cousins to have husbands like him’- makes me feel proud,not of you,but of my choice 😉
Well,I’ve matured with you and it’s not just about spending 7 years together but it’s been a journey of more than a decade that we know each other now-11 years to be precise. These 7 years as husband and wife,have brought us to different levels of understanding. Showed us life from different perspective.
Certainly,there were promises broken,there were tears,there were fights that turned ugly, there were days in a row when we didn’t speak to each other….but to go with these there were days which were filled with smiles,the days when we were happy,when we kept our promises,we we joked,shopped,traveled, read books together,played scrabble,cooked, acted lazy bums,watched movies,dined,snuggled and cuddled…and these were by all means the days the that form a major part of these 7 years of our marriage.
We argue and we have differences. But the best part about us is we know how to enjoy our differences,how to let each other just be,how to give that required space and how not to be too demanding.
All I have to say to you is, happy 7th Anniversary Husby! Let’s just stay the same to each other and be merry 🙂
When one starts leaving sticky notes on the desktop for you to see in the morning? *ooops :)*
When someone does something like this to the normal tomato soup? * 😀 😀 :D*
When someone calls while on way home from work,every single day? *blush blush*
When you can see two pair of eyes meeting and exchanging something which only they can define? *ahem,ahem*
What is it called?
Awni was talking to him on phone. They had the longest courtship period,at least in their circle. They seldom met on weekends due to hectic work schedules. Destiny though had plans to bring them together for a life time but not that easily. They had to spend 1 year apart from each other before they could tie the nuptial knot ! So days passed by and they were together virtually ! Highly dependent on telephone and internet. Slowly and gradually they started knowing each other well.Most of the times they didn’t see each other but were talking endlessly..sometimes as long as the moon was up in the sky…as long as the cool breeze let them just be.. as long as they were not disturbed by someone at the door..they were so much in love with each other…cupid had struck them..and to their astonishment they behaved as they knew each other since ages…decades…so many lives !
Awni and Alok became best of the buddies as well. They shared everything with each other..calling each other was like breathing…could not forget or skip doing that !! The bond was unbreakable..nobody would ever understand that. Awni’s friends always asked her how does she manage to continue in a relationship where there are no gift exchange or no meetings or not even short trips to near by places together…and to that Awni used to tell her friends how love is above all this and does not depend on these alone ! Her friends never understood and she didn’t care for that !
One day when they were on their phone call…Alok wasn’t comfortable in talking..he was a bit silent and his voice sounded tensed. Awni,like always kept talking for a while and realized that he is not responding like he would have normally…She kept mum for a while to let him speak what he might want to..but he was quiet.
Awni: What happened ?
Alok: Nothing,really !
Awni: Really ? Are you not upset with something ?
Alok: No, really !
Awni: [Pause] Are you not thinking that how this project will come to an end successfully ? Are you not worried about the logistics of it ?
Alok: How did you guess that ? I mean how did you ? I could have been thinking anything under the sun.
Awni: It’s really simple to know that.
Alok: How ? You can’t even see my expressions. You are just hearing my voice and that’s that.
Awni: I said, it’s simple to know…I love you and Love is blind..it doesn’t require to see…it just requires to feel and sense !
Sometime later, Awni was in the office and was having a terrible day. She badly wanted to be with Alok then. Just wanted to be silent and be tightly hugged by him.She just needed some peace and care. This was the time when she really felt that their’s is an unlucky courtship. They can’t even see each other when so much in need. He was sitting miles away.
She was in a meeting at the office but could not concentrate on what people were discussing.She picked her mobile and smsed Alok.
Awni: I’m really missing you very much. Want a hug,a tight hug !
Alok: Oh sweetie, same here. Me too missing you.
Awni: Today I’m really in need of you. I’m yearning for that hug.Having a bad day !
Alok: Really? [now getting a bit tensed about Awni] What happened ? Anything serious ?
Awni: Nothing.But want you close to me now.
Alok: Okay, look at your left hand side and see I’m just next to you ! I’m with you.
Awni: Actually looking at her left,even when she knew it can’t be true, but for a second she sees Alok right beside her.
Awni: I really can see you Alok,my god !
Alok: Are you feeling better now ?
Awni: Yes so much ! But how could I see you here when you are miles away from me ?
Alok: Remember ? Love is blind and it just requires to feel and to sense ? I’m right there with you,always !
A mix of silence and a strange void,
The guilt. How does it strike you ? And when does it do ? How do you feel then ? Sad? You feel like hiding under the covers. You make resolutions to not repeat it. You want to break free from that feeling. All this and more.. But…But…when the guilt comes with a content feeling,then ? Oh guilt with content??? Ever experienced ? Read on….
…else how would I have been what I’m today ?
……I’m feeling impuissant. I’m feeling comfortless.I’m missing you to the core. I think i need you very much by my side. I want to be held by you, now. I want you to look into my eyes and say sweet nothings.. I want you to be near me so that i can tell you how much do i love you. How much do i need you. How important you are to me. I want to tell you today, that “Tumse hi din hota hai, Surmayi shaam aati hai, Tumse hi..”
I know I’m sounding very mushy and like a teenager. Like the one who has fallen in love few days back. Like they say “Pehla Pehla Pyarr Hai”… But isn’t it the same with us sweetheart ? Its like yesterday. That we saw,met and fell in love ! That we made so many promises to each other. That we decided we will spend our entire life with each other. And that today we have completed 4 years of our commitments. 4 years of togetherness. 4 years of marriage ! It still feels like yesterday.. 2005 !!! In all these years, you held me whenever i fell. I always found you beside me when i looked at my side. I want you to stay the way you are. Grievously, we are not together today. But hubby dearest, i want to tell you that I’m always with you like in “Tu jahan jahan Chalega, Mera Saya Saath hoga..”
Adventitiously, In the morning when i switched on the Idiot Box (which turned out to be the sweet messenger for me today), there were these romantic songs going on for almost an hour. I felt like they are being played only for us. Dedicated to our love. Few of them being:
“Chura liya hai tumne jo dil ko…”
“Humne Tumko dekha, Tumne humko dekha..”
“Hum Tumhe chahte hain aise…”
HP, i feel blessed that i’m your wife. That you are my life partner. That you are going to father my kids… That i’m MRS.HP :))) Gee Geee….
Happy 4th Anniversary to you,I love you loads !!!
*Tnx to bollywood songs… its so easy to communicate your feelings through them !
Its a sunny day :). In Mumbai today, i feel i belong here. When i look back i felt that i don’t belong here. When i came here i thought i should have never come in the first place. But today- I belong here !!