Dear Sibby-Your Kiss-y Mother

Dear Sibby,

Hope you are doing good,in this world of ours! Have we been too clingy to you?Too sticky? Cause I feel so 😉 not that I regret it or will stop kissing you time and again! I know we, especially I, keep hovering around you, kissing you and cuddling you all the time. I so love that feeling, your baby smell, your soft skin against my cheeks, I just love holding you! Even Chirpy is so fond of you, she has a fixed routine-the moment she wakes up in the morning, she’ll come and kiss you, back from school, she’ll kiss you, going to play in the evening, will kiss you, coming home from outside, certainly will kiss you.. haha, she is really really fond of you! And your Dadda? Don’t even get me started here. He’s softer than me at heart when it comes to his kids. He can’t be strict to either of you, he can’t say no and he can’t lay down rules for you both! Sigh, all the tough part is to be played by me, you getting my point?

Sibby, its been 15 months since you’ve come in to our lives. I’ve felt so special, yet again. They say mothering each child is a different experience in itself and I so agree with this. I’ll be honest, as always, I feel closer to you, much connected with you as compared to what I felt at the first time. Your Didu and I share a strong bond, she is growing up to be an assertive girl having her own mind and thoughts but my bond with you is a little different than that, I feel so! Something between us is different, is special and I’m overwhelmed by it all!

But now that you are growing up I miss how you loved sleeping on my chest. You felt cozy and I felt warm! You insisted that at least once in the day I let you sleep on me, and then I should not put you down, at all! You know what, even I dislike that 😉 when you sleep on me I fall asleep myself. We are a sight to watch, your Deda tells me! There were several nights when we’ve slept just like that for hours and hours and I never felt tired!

You struggle to get out of my tug now, you know if I get hold of you, I’ll squeeze you too much, you’ve understood the show of my love and you act smart now! But the first thing in the morning you do is, look at my face and give a big broad smile, every morning, without fail! All these little somethings are going to remain in my memory forever, you might grow up and forget these, for me these are my treasures!

You are my sunshine, my lifeline. I have given you so many names, sometimes I also forget what I called you yesterday, but you my cutie pie, you just respond to every name that I pronounce, you turn your head upon listening to my voice, but the next moment you just shake your head in a deep NO and run away 🙂 Hahahaha as if you understand that I’m going to catch you and squeeze you 😛  This is our game, you love it and i yearn for it 🙂

I know I’ve not written you much but I’ll make up for it, I’ll write to you because more than you its for me. When you and your didi fly away from our nest, its for us to sit and read these letters which will be like throwbacks !

Love you meri jaan,

Yours Aai

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Dear Sibby-Honest Confession

Dear Sibby,

Since the time of your birth I’ve been wanting to tell you this-the thoughts that time and again come to my mind,sometimes even today. Before I start, I want you to know that I’m being truly honest here with you. I don’t feel the need to modify my feelings and present them because between you and me, we don’t need to pretend or please, right?

When I was pregnant with you, I was very frequently questioned as to what do I wish to have-a girl or a boy? This curiosity is especially over grown in people’s mind for the second babies. Since I had Chirpy, a girl, people wanted to hear me saying “I want a boy”. According to them it made sense, for me to wish to have a boy when I already had a daughter. I don’t blame them, that’s what the minds are conditioned as in the society. Secondly, there was this ghar ka chirag mania also. Who would take our family name ahead etc.

I on other hand, honestly, wished that you’d be a girl, yes, I wanted you to be a girl. I imagined you and Chirpy sharing that sisters bond, that girlie interactions, those silly fights for dresses and accessories, discussing boy friends and careers, making choices and taking stands for each other, being best girl friends. Not that now you being a boy, would not bond well with Chirpy, you would I know but same gender, especially with girls it is a bit different, a little more special.

I felt this way maybe because I never had a sister? Maybe because I’ve seen such sister siblings that are fire on the house? Or simply because I deeply wished to have daughters! Your Deda on the other hand was sure he wanted a boy, to have best of both worlds, to strike a balance. He thought having two girls or two boys is a little imbalanced. So he wanted one of each, simple logic that, no?

That said, you would know that I’m glad that I had you, a boy. I’m in love with you exactly the way I would have loved a daughter. Nothing has changed, my love is not gender dependent, a mother’s love is not at all anything dependent. It is just love, pure love for her children. And hence you are the apple of my eye, my hero, my jigar ka tukda! I love you Sibby. You and Chirpy complete me, you my children paint my life with your love and I’m so loving this colourful life.

Yours,

Mamma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Mum (yet,again!) On the Block Says:

So, this is about the new mum, a second timer, but still a new one because every kid is different and every time it is a new birth! I feel exactly the same, a new me, a newbie at doing things, with a dash of experience though, but I feel with Sibby I’m learning the ABC of mommyhood, right from the start.

I’m enjoying being a mother again, a mother of two! It feels good to have created two cute little humans who are no less dear to you than your life…they are your life!

With Sibby I’ve to admit one thing for sure, breastfeeding came in very easily, to me and to Sibby as well. He latched instantly, he wants me all the time and is so very happy feeding on my milk. Unlike Chirpy, where in breastfeeding was a nightmare, we did not gel well in that duration, she did not latch properly, and it hurt me like hell! I cried, I hated myself for not being able to feed my baby and I felt a little less like a mother because I wasn’t feeding my milk to my baby.. all the breastfeeding trauma that could possibly be caused had taken place then. I figured out, quite later, that I was naive, my baby was just couple of days old and no one gave us proper gyaan about breastfeeding that we should have known as first timers. This time however, I told myself to be determined, to take it easy and to give time to both of us. Maybe that’s what worked. I counselled myself. I gave myself due credit that I’m trying and not giving up. I cuddled my baby and patted him for latching well. Basically, that bond, was created. We became the happy duo, sitting in our own corner and having our own us time.

Honestly, I’ve to realise two things from my own experience:

A) Breastfeeding is a rocket science!

B) Breastfeeding is not a rocket science!

Oh confusing, ain’t it? Let me explain.

A) Rocket science because it takes your patience, hard work, diligence and relaxed mind to bring it all together to feed your baby. It also needs your baby to be in sync with your trials. It takes two to tango, aka breastfeed! So it is a science, that two people, one adult and one tiny little being, have to sync in and practice to master it.

B) It is not a rocket science because its not a big deal. It can’t be taught, it has to be practised. It has to be given time and to each his own. We should not give it more than required importance so much so that new mothers are bogged down by the trauma of not being able to feed their new babies. It is to be enjoyed, to be cherished and not be marked taboo and create fears in mothers’ minds. So don’t give it a status of rocket science where in it start looking difficult or impossible.

Breastfeeding is a boon, if you can do it, well and good. If you for some reasons cannot do it, doesn’t matter. Don’t feel sad about it. It is okay to give your baby top-feed. It is okay to make enough milk because every body is different. Don’t look down upon yourself. You are a mother in several other ways and breastfeeding is not the only yardstick to prove that you are a mum. You bore that child for 9 months in your tummy and that’s a bigger task than any other, I think!

Enjoy motherhood 🙂

Ahoy!!!

Yes I’m back at this space, can I live without this or working or anything that brings me sanity? No way! I know there are rules to be followed for at least first 40 days of delivering a baby and I somewhat know the significance too of complete shut out and all that. But what I also know is without these things, blogging, working and thinking logically, I can’t survive. I can’t remain sane! I’m hard wired that ways and it may cause some damage to my body, physically, maybe, but can’t help. So what I’m trying to do is, read a little, work a little and now Blog a little only to balance things out.

So anyway, the main news here is this, below!

Both of us are fine, I’m recovering and recuperating from the delivery episode, not that it was dramatic, but its an episode in itself, the ones who have delivered will agree with me.

It feels different to be a mother of two. It feels like a new role altogether, which I had anticipated but now that it is really happening, I’m a little confused at times 🙂 Natural, I guess!

Little Chirpy is behaving like a good girl, as expected and as she had planned to be a good Didu to her little sibling! It is an amazing view to watch them sleep side by side. Sometimes I think to myself, “wow, I made these two?” This whole pregnancy thing is a miracle, God has created a magic!

So for the blog world, we will call Chirpy’s little sibling as SIBBY 🙂

Welcome him and bless him with all your love, like you do to Chirpy! Now the new phase of life begins and let’s hope I’m able to record all the anecdotes here for me and Husby to read laters when our birds would fly away to their destinations 🙂