Just another post :)

Wordless Wednesday-12

Turn Ons :P

I might be some 8 years old when ‘Ashiqui’ got released.Now is 2010 and the songs still do the jig and cause that sweet heart ache when you listen to them.I’m sure even the least romantic person can also be moved with these songs.

Another sets of songs I love personally are from the movie ‘Dil hai ki manta nahi’ and ‘Phir teri kahani yaad aayi’…I won’t say those were days of songs and music…because it would be unfair to the older music and some newer music that is really good…and moreover the days have not passed..the music is still alive in our hearts and whenever we want we can tune into these songs…

Radio Mirchi has this old songs slot in the night and 90s not out..and yeah Cassette classics..I like all these segments a lot ! These songs do something to my mood.Some kind of uplift-ment…they are just so wow…And these slots bring back these songs which we might have kept aside on our hard-disks or CDs..and forget to listen…songs like ‘chehra kya dekhte ho..’ sounds good now..may be after so many years they sound good and we feel a novelty in them…

There is something or the other which really swings your mood to a lighter note..something that freshens you up..that turns your mood on..for me it’s music and dancing…and shopping…in the same order…what’s your turn on ? 🙂

Wordless Wednesday-11

‘Follow-me’

Often you come across people who want to like to dominate in whichever way they can. Dominate their friends or spouse or siblings.Whosoever they come across. Because that’s what flows in their blood. 

I hate it that way. Any body would dislike being treated like having no bran and spine and following someone blindly. But then there are these kind of people too who like to follow. Who think by following any ‘xyz’ person they are doing some good to themselves. I hate it this way too.

I don’t say following someone is bad or not good.Of course we have been taught by our elders to take all the good habits of people we meet with and shoo away the bad ones. But taking someone’s good habit isn’t following the person or is it ?

I had a friend in my b-school who used to just blindly follow what I used to do.I still remember when I had bought 5 subjects notebook the next day she had bought exactly the same type of notebook and audaciously showed it me saying that she also got it and added a lame smile ! Also, I have particular way of writing notes when in class and to my horror she used to compulsorily sit next to me..and she used to copy exactly the way I took down notes..even if that meant using black and blue balls pens for headings and asterisks. Somehow I tried and shooed her away in a polite manner and managed to grab a seat away from her !

This was still easy cause you were just to stay away from a person and that’s not possibly tough ! Ignoring can get a lot easier than running away from a relationship you are deeply involved into.

In the same batch, I became friends with another girl and we were like thick buddies in everything we did.Certainly that did not mean wearing same colour clothes and using same notebooks and opting for same subjects :P. But yes we used to rock as friends and were enough as a gang to enjoy with each other.We thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. But slowly then I realized that this girl was nothing but was lover or dominance ! She did everything for me by heart but in turn may be she expected that I follow her in whatever she does and thinks.

Instances like if we are discussing something in general…and I would say ‘wow,I just loved it’ snap came the reply that ‘oh please,that’s not the way people dress…that’s so shoddy..it should be this way’..another time..’nice pair..they look good together’..the reply to this ‘what did you like in the guy? He looks so lame..shheeh’…and then I realized..this friendship is not meant for me ! I’m better away from this…adding to this..I didn’t like her criticizing everyone and making this statement..’main hoti to aisa karti ya aisa nahi karti’ …

this ‘MAIN’ thing at least out me off and we certainly went far far away from each other by heart..which no one could understand why..for her it was always the richness,the class,the style and her opinion that mattered  ! And for me what matters is the person and respecting the differences..of course I’m not playing any saint here…I too don’t like that people disagree with but doesn’t mean I ask them to shut up and follow me totally..I always think that differences should be respected and that’s the only way to a healthy relationship… Individuality has to be given priority !

This ‘follow me‘ business is totally a no-no…I mean it’s a not a twitter or a blog to follow….it’s a relationship !! But alas.blogger calls it ‘follow‘ and the twitter calls it ‘follow me‘ !!

I’m sure you must have got these kind of a friends in your school or college or at work…hai na ?

The Rules of Life !

There are fixed rules of life that catch you sometime or the other with it’s both hands for sure..

• When you think you’ll not get late to reach somewhere is when you actually get late.
• When you decide that you’ll get up early and go for walk / gym you find yourself waking up late that morning !
• When you keep aside something that you’ll finish off when you get time on hand you never get time then !
• When you think today is not the day when you need to pay the visit to the parlor that is when you realize that you’re suppose to go to a function and that to wearing that sleeveless dress.
• The day you wear your whites thinking that you won’t face any troubles with the dust and mud stains is when it rains from no where.
• You’re winning a 2 mins game on scrabble and only 6 tiles are left is when your relatives drop by and you’ve no choice but to forfeit the game and let the other one win !
• You’re at a book race with husband and that is when your best friend calls / messages you to come online !!
• You clean up the kitchen and put the lights off finally checking once again whether you need something to eat and the answer is a NO but as soon as you reach your bedroom and start reading the book you realize you’re hungry !
• You call your friends for dinner and the very next morning you get a message that your maid is unwell!!!

Ironically, these are the rules you cannot break ! But you can certainly follow some rules like these without wanting to break them 🙂 Though the 5th one seems a bit filmy 😛 But cute that !

Blogrolling and Why ?

THE  blog world.So many blogs and authors around. Some are your friends and some become your friends in the blogging process. The question that comes to my mind [yeah lot of questions in mind these days :P] why do you read someone’s blog ?

As for me here’s why I read the blogs that I read:

• I like the way the author writes.
• I like the topics being expressed at the blog..the variety.
• Apart from the above two reasons the author is my friend.
• I have come across the blog through a good friends’ blog [since I read this friend may be what he or she reads is going to be as good as her own blog-just may be].
• I accidently land on someone’s blog and after reading few posts I start liking it.
• I reach the blog through the blog adda picks or some reference by someone.
• Sometimes the look and feel and even the name of the blog itself  attracts me and I start reading it.

Over a period of time blogging has become vital to my routine.I started to blog because I was very emotional the other day [about the end of the MBA course and departures] and thought that the blog would be a good way of venting it all out of my system. That day I didn’t think that I would read so many other blogs or have so many great pals here or would have so many readers. I never thought in this manner and yet reached to level that I’m so happy blogging and now whatever I do or see the first thing that comes to my mind is ‘I’ll put it on my blog’ ! It’s the joy of sharing things with you people..and the medium to express my thoughts is what I love about blogging the most.

Okay this remind me of something that someone told me few days back. It was lingering in mind since then and I really wanted to take it out then and there but thought to let it settle down a bit.Yes, I don’t want it to be a big issue but as said earlier..I can’t forget !

“My posts are not worth commenting.Meaning there is nothing to comment on my posts except ‘nice’,’wow’..etc.’ and this is not what the commenter wants to type in and hence doesn’t comment.”

But the person claims to read all my posts.Okay not an issue. My only query is Don’t I have any such post which is eligible for more than a ‘wow’ or a ‘nice’…really ? You are my readers and quiet regular at that…why don’t you judge and tell me !

[May be] A sequel to Friendship..Dosti..Yarii..etc

I’ve heard from lot of friends that one should not be as open to the husband as you would be to a friend. I ask why ? 

Source: Google Images

The answers I get are something like these:

• A husband can never be your friend.
• Somewhere the male ego comes in picture and will spoil the relationship if you try to make it a friendship.
• No matter how hard the husband tries he can never come over the fact that he is your husband and has to play it cool at times.
• A husband will fail to switch roles of playing a husband and a friend.
• Secrets of your earlier crushes and may be relationships should definitely not be shared with your husband-he’ll never understand.
• Da..da…da..da…

So,I wonder.I keep thinking about these reasons and I have a different view. I think if you’re friends with your husband before marriage it should continue no matter what.I mean nothing changes the friendship..does it ? I agree that marriage brings in more responsibilities and brings in a little bit of changes in the way you conduct your relationship but I guess that’s just an addition…not a subtraction of friendship.

Me and hubby knew each other quiet well before we tied the knot and we continue to remain each others friends.Nothing has changed that relationship between us.I still share everything with him and he with me.Not that we don’t have our own friends to do the needful of lending their shoulders to us when we need them.But it’s just that hubby makes the best friends as compared to any other friend of mine 🙂

There are advantages too:

• A husband is available all the time in proximity.
• A husband can leave everything and run for you whereas the other friends will have some constraints some or the other times.
• You can chat with your husband late nights and no one can question it.
• You can go on holidays with your husband any time and you still do the talking and sharing !
• You can bet that your husband will not reveal your secrets to any one whereas there are slight chances that your other friends might spill it out..sometimes may be !
• The friendship between husband and wife makes the marital relationship much easier to deal with..more understanding + more consideration= less arguments 🙂

Source: Google Images

May be there are more benefits than these.And no I’m not saying that you should be friends only with your husband.Not necessary…but all I’m saying is making husband your friend pays off well enough in long term. Also, couples who are best friends to each other make great parents to their children is what I have seen..

As far as earlier crushes and relationships are concerned I think everybody has a past to share.And the person [husband or wife] who is not ready to understand and accept that-tab toh gadbad hai !! Because like any relationship marriage is based on trust and acceptance ! Me feels so,what about you ?

Friendship..Dosti..Yarii..etc

Every person has a best friend in life..sometime or the other. Some have the privilege of having friends as long as their existence in this world..right from the kindergarten days to family making days…or may be some that you come across in your teenage days and then these friends stick with you through the thick and thin no matter where you are or what you are…the friendship matures..the friends who are in touch even in old age…you may get really close in your old age too..making friends in old age is a possibility 🙂

As the rule of life there are very few people who stick to one place,city,house for longer years..why I say as a rule of life since transfers,promotions,job change and the likes don’t let you stick to one place for long…as a result you change schools, you change cities, you change companies or you get married and shift bases and hence you change your friends too..no matter how bold promises we make to our old friends that ‘we’ll be in touch‘ and ‘we would at least meet up once a year‘ etc etc…we do tend to keep the promises back of our mind not necessarily forget !

Specially, when we are parting our ways at the end of the college we get so much sentimental so that we sing friendship songs..we cry,write slam books..exchange gifts..photographs..parties…get-tos and all possible things under the sky which would let us meet our friends once more…before the d-day comes when the departure actually takes place…

Finally you land up in your job and slowly but steadily the new life takes a toll on you takes over your emotions and promises..basically the old person in you and you’re left with the new life and new friends…which is good and you’re enjoying…but unknowingly you leave the old friends behind and sometimes when you remember those good old days you realize how things have changed….how many days have passed by that you haven’t called your buddy from college…of course there are exceptions…but whatever my experience and observation says the friends who land in the same city are the only ones to maintain that bond otherwise most of the times the dynamics change..

How does it all happen?? Do we do it on purpose ? Not at all..why would someone on purpose ignore the best of the friend from college ? But it still happens..and that’s the right time to test the mettle of your relationship…in hard times is when you come to know who really loves you !

When in college or in school or in some organization…when you meet daily.. sometimes 3 times a day and talk on phone almost every hour you are well connected to the person and of course he or she is the closest one that you share your things with…and the relationship is tagged as ‘best friendship’…but the real test is when you are away…out of sight..not meeting for years…only connected to through emails and phone calls-which are also a bit irregular…do you feel the same connection ? The same comfort of sharing anything and everything with the person ?

There are no guaranteed tests that you can put your friends through..but there are certain things which we all need to note…

• Friendship is a lovely relationship..one has to nurture it and cherish it.
• It needs understanding and trust as it’s base and the rest of the toppings happen automatically with time.
• You need to know and understand what’s going on the other side before making any assumptions that the other side is acting smart and hence not contacting or replying or whatever.
• If something really goes wrong in your relationship never ever bitch about your ex-friend..at least for the sake of old days.
• Yes, and old adage-A friend in need is a friend in deed.
• Friendship is to be felt and not be forced.It needs to come from within and from both parties.So,no forcing the other party to be your friends or so.
• Friends are those who accept you and love you for what you are and not what they want you to be.So someone trying to change your thinking or your entire being-be aware that might not be your friend.
• Friendship is all about sharing,caring and giving-not snatching,being jealous or dictating.

I was talking to my nappy friend the other day [we have been friends for 25 years now :)] and she was telling me about some nosy relative and she said ‘Relatives should understand na!’ to which my reply was ‘If only relatives could understand they would be named as friends’!!

Wordless Wednesday-10